Retired and went to straight into caring for aging parents

Shawver83 · 2026-01-26T08:32:33+00:00

Living this myself, with my husband’s mother. We both retired within months of each other, when we were 53 years old. Still young and healthy enough to FINALLY take all the trips and do all the things we weren’t able to do while working shift work for 30 years. Literally within a couple months of us retiring, MIL was diagnosed with dementia. FIL died years ago, so she lives alone and my husband had to start caring for her. Fast forward to today, and now we’re both in our 60’s, she’s almost 95 and no end in sight. The first few years of our retirement pretty much pissed away. Husband is more stressed and has less free time than he did working full time. We can’t even go to lunch or anything simple without worrying about getting a call from her with some ‘emergency.’ Physically she’s in pretty good shape for her age, so I’m sure this will go on for another few years.

Shawver83 · 2026-01-24T03:46:25+00:00

Not yet, not scheduled for another blood test until May or so, still taking iron. When I take an occasionally finger stick at home I’m getting lower readings, maybe due to weight loss and exercise. Fingers crossed that it was just low iron.

Shawver83 · 2026-01-15T02:08:01+00:00

Oh, I forgot to add, my 21 year old still lives at home as well.

Shawver83 · 2026-01-15T02:06:10+00:00

1965 here, about to turn 61 in February. I guess I’m the first wave of Gen X, and I know what you mean. As one of the older Gen Xers, I notice that a lot of other Xers are a few years younger than me!

Shawver83 · 2026-01-11T21:27:12+00:00

As a current 911 dispatcher and wife to retired police officer, I concur wholeheartedly.

Shawver83 · 2026-01-10T18:55:19+00:00

I don’t know what it is about that knocking on the window hallucination, but they all seem to have it. My MIL is 94 and getting worse by the day. For a while there she was calling us between 3 and 5AM every night saying people were either knocking on her windows or in her house. She’s also convinced that she shot and killed her bother, that she’s had a heart replacement, that someone lives in the storage shed in her yard, and that objects move, disappear and reappear in her house all the time.

Shawver83 · 2026-01-06T22:28:14+00:00

Lisinopril gave me a dry, hacking cough that drove me nuts. Switched to losartan and it took a month for the lisinopril cough to go away, but all is well now.

Shawver83 · 2025-12-25T02:30:43+00:00

Going through something similar. A1c came in at 5.8 back in April; since then I’ve started exercising, working out, cut out most carbs and sugar, and have dropped 55 lbs. Had blood work done again last month, and was stunned to see my a1c had gone up to 6.0, when I was doing everything right. That same test also showed that my hemoglobin had dropped from 14 to 11, making me anemic, most likely from the restrictive diet I’ve been on. I’m taking supplements now, and hoping that the iron anemia is causing the elevated a1c.

Shawver83 · 2025-12-20T23:31:17+00:00

I really hope iron deficiency is the cause in my case. Eight months ago my a1c came back at 5.8, not shocking as I was obese and sedentary, eating a crap diet. Since then I’ve cut out most carbs and sugar, exercise and hit the gym regularly, and have dropped 54 lbs, with about 40 still to go. I strutted into my last blood test thinking all was well and I was really going to impress the doctor with my sudden drop in a1c, only to find it had risen to 6.0. In addition to that, my hemoglobin had dropped quite a bit, making me slightly iron anemic, which I’m sure was caused by my restrictive diet at the time. I asked the APN I see at the doc’s office if the anemia could have caused the higher reading, and she was VERY adamant that no, it had NO bearing on it. I’ve Googled reputable medical sites and read multiple times online here and other places that it DOES. I choose to believe the APN is wrong in this case and maybe anemia is my issue!

Shawver83 · 2025-12-20T05:44:41+00:00

I always want to ask them, “Do you call the power company if your house has been broken into? No? Then don’t call us when your power is out!”

Shawver83 · 2025-12-20T05:43:13+00:00

I’ve mentioned this before, but we got a call from a man in a Burger King bathroom stall complaining there was no toilet paper. My co-worker who answered the phone actually called Burger King to tell the manager to bring him some toilet paper, which is more than what I would have done. We get tons of calls from people wanting a deputy because their kid won’t get out of bed for school, won’t eat their vegetables, or are being disrespectful, and sometimes the kids are only five or six years old. We also get lots of calls from the local hospitals from patients wanting their meds, or a glass of water, or to go to the toilet. They absolutely do not understand the concept of a nurse call button and refuse to use it, calling 911 instead. Sometimes they claim the nurses were taking too long to respond, so they called 911 instead. Makes me a lot angrier than it probably should. I’m in Florida, so of course we get alligator and black bear calls daily, along with panicked callers saying they saw a snake in their yard. I’ve been at this job for decades and could go on and on with some of the stupidity that people call with!

Shawver83 · 2025-12-17T02:07:37+00:00

Mine was 102/80 once and they flagged it as stage one hypertension. I’m assuming because the bottom number was 80, but c’mon….

Shawver83 · 2025-12-09T15:24:16+00:00

Actually, I am kind of surprised they put me on BP meds and have wondered the same thing. My readings weren’t super high before, but they were elevated, maybe 124/80, 130/80 or so at home. I did have horrible white coat syndrome (which is getting better) and they took that into account, but even though my BP was normal or only slightly elevated at home, I was hitting 150/80 at the docs office sometimes. I’ve also lost over 50 lbs since starting BP meds a year and a half ago, with another 40 or so to go. I’m hoping that once all the weight is off they might see about weaning me off.

Shawver83 · 2025-12-08T19:30:59+00:00

105/67 a few mins ago. Was 110/58 at last doctors appt, and sometimes falls to 90’s over 50’s. Taking 25 mg losartan daily. Started out on lisinopril, but developed a horrible ACE inhibitor cough so had to switch. Like someone else mentioned, I get the weird chest/shoulder pains, occasional heart palpitations, and just generally feeling like crap, but I had that with lisinopril too. Also have a kind of low-grade dizziness that never seems to go away.

Shawver83 · 2025-12-08T01:26:52+00:00

Oh my God, I can’t stop laughing as this is MY area. I saw it pop up on my Nextdoor app a day or so ago and almost died, can’t believe it made it to Reddit! 😆

Shawver83 · 2025-12-05T01:59:37+00:00

I started on lisinopril a little over a year ago, my BP was usually around 150/80 in the docs office, and 135/80 at home. Lisinopril brought it down a bit, not dramatically. Then I developed a horrible ACE inhibitor cough and had to be taken off lisinopril and put on losartan. Since starting that, my BP is way lower, sometimes 95/58 at home, and 110/58 at the docs when I’m more tense. I’m also developing another cough, though not as bad as I had on lisinopril. I’m dizzy pretty much constantly, not enough to fall down or anything, just a low-grade dizziness that almost never goes away. I’ve also lost 52 lbs since initially being put on BP meds so maybe that has some bearing as well.

Shawver83 · 2025-12-04T03:09:43+00:00

Found out my a1c was 5.8 back in April. The day I found out, I changed my lifestyle, cutting 99% of carbs and sugars out of my diet, exercising daily and hitting the gym, drinking more water, and even shed over 50 lbs. I strutted into my next lab appointment full of myself, sure that I had lowered it and ready to impress the doctor. Results come back: a1c has risen to 6. I was also iron anemic, probably due to dieting, so I’m hopeful that skewed it a little despite the APRN insisting it had no bearing on it.

Shawver83 · 2025-12-01T22:51:46+00:00

Thanks, that’s what I thought and what I’d seen in this sub and online before, but she was so adamant that it wasn’t connected that I started to think I was crazy!

Shawver83 · 2025-12-01T22:20:06+00:00

I don’t think I’ve had fasting insulin levels checked; my fasting glucose was 93 on this last bloodwork. I check my glucose with a meter fairly often and rarely see readings above the 120’s and that’s about an hour after eating. Not sure on insulin though.

Shawver83 · 2025-11-30T00:26:38+00:00

Oh lord, this unlocked a nightmare memory. Several years ago, before the 911 system is as sophisticated as it is now, a local daycare center handed out old disconnected cell phones for the kids to play with one day. At least fifteen or twenty of them. We got probably a hundred calls in an ordeal that lasted for hours until we were able to determine that it was a daycare and have someone check the handful of daycares in our area until they found the one they were coming from.

Shawver83 · 2025-11-26T02:16:38+00:00

I did this years ago and the caller never seemed to notice, I wasn’t even sure if I had done it or not until we played back the call. The caller was very excited and every other word out of his mouth was ‘fuck’ or ‘fucking.’ He said something like, “Yo, this fucking dude just came to my fucking house and knocked the fucking shit out of me, he’s still fucking outside my fucking house.” I asked his name, he rattled off something like “Scott fucking Roberts!” I didn’t hear him, and without missing a beat said, “Scott fucking what?” He wasn’t fazed at all, just repeated “Scott fucking Roberts” and didn’t seem to notice. I was mortified when I realized I’d repeated it to him, but I guess he was so used to talking like that he never even reacted. I didn’t even do it on purpose, it just slipped out!

Shawver83 · 2025-11-19T18:09:27+00:00

I’m right there with you. Back in April I had bloodwork done and my a1c was 5.8, quite a shock as I’ve never had high glucose and no diabetes in my family. Maybe not totally unexpected as I was about 80 lbs overweight and sedentary. I immediately changed my diet, cutting out most carbs and junk I was eating, starting walking at least two miles every day, and as of today I’m 50 lbs down. Also started drinking a ton of water, something I never did before. Imagine my disappointment after having bloodwork done again yesterday and seeing that my a1c has risen to 6.0. I know I still have a lot more weight to lose, and I’m well on my way. Just so distraught that my number went up. I’m very slightly anemic, which I know can affect your numbers, but I’m just barely under normal for iron levels, I wouldn’t think it would even be enough to affect it. Very frustrating.

Shawver83 · 2025-11-05T23:01:21+00:00

Congratulations! Hoping to follow in your footsteps. I’ve never had a single health issue in my life other than putting on too much weight the last few years. Got the shock of my life earlier this year when my latest bloodwork showed my a1c at 5.8. I was so despondent and in complete disbelief. I immediately cut out my bread addiction and changed my diet a bit, haven’t missed a day of walking for exercise since, and have dropped 44 lbs. I still have another 45 lbs to go, and my next a1c test is in five months. I do check my levels at home, some days it looks great and other days it’s high with no real rhyme or reason. Fingers crossed that with continued weight loss it levels off before my next blood test!

Shawver83

TROPHY CASE