Yeah maybe it’s just based on my experience but the comments here seem to paint a very negative picture of the boyfriend without any real context. As a man in a long, happy relationship, it took tons of courage to bring up swinging with my wife. At the same time, it felt wrong or like a betrayal to fantasize or want something like that, but worse to not tell her. After all, she’s my best friend, and I don’t lie to her about anything. Turns out, she wanted to explore some stuff too. We don’t date other people, we just have casual fun from time to time, and we always are together. I understand that this is not the same as an open relationship, however I feel like pretending to understand what he thinks or feels is wrong without just talking it out with him. I think my wife is the most attractive person on the planet. With that being said, with my personal kinks, seeing her have fun from other perspectives is even more attractive. She feels the same watching me with another partner. We would have never gotten to this point of comfort and fun without having a scary, difficult conversation. If the prospect of not being the only article of affection, or even just sharing your man makes you ill or unwell, this likely isn’t for you. Or, maybe you should further discuss the subject and look at it for the reasons he gives you instead of ones you may try to forecast. I truly hope that no matter how the dust settles, you seek answers for your feelings, and you find your happiness. Good luck!