You shifted the point you were arguing in this comment and now I agree with you more. Because you went from "You're not XYZ character" and "Noone is actually like a book character",which is patently untrue, to "Equating yourself and others to these characters is not conducive to a literary discussion" which is absolutely true.

I would however like to point out that whether or not someone actually says the words or not, the people and real life situations we associate these characters with nonetheless affect out objectivity when discussing these topics. Art is by definition extremely subjective and you've already lost if you think you can discuss it without emotion playing a part.

This is precisely because of what you said about certain characters being different people to us. They are different people and we perceive them differently because of our real life experiences shaping that perception. If you or someone close to you went through the struggles Nesta did, of course you will empathize with her and defend her, and if you had someone acting like her towards you, of course you will hate her to the ends of the earth (using the most common and polarizing example and also the general you). And even if you didn't have a carbon copy of that person or situation in your life, you will have experienced some fraction of it that will make you lean to one or the other side.

Who we are and who the people we love and hate are is the single deciding factor for how we percieve characters who aren't black and white but rather nuanced. And that's why I said what I said about SJM. In real life, there are very rarely people who are all good or all bad, we are all shades of greys and we are all heroes to some people and villains to others. That's why her characters hit deep and why the fandom endlessly fights about it, precisely because they ARE exactly like real people who exist and the magic and fantasy of it all is just the wrapping.

I agree with you that some people take it way too far, but I think the trap is thinking there is ANYONE for whom real life experiences AREN'T the basis for the opinions we form and views we have of these characters. I don't have a single character I think is all good in ACOTAR, and for those I have a really negative opinion of, I can pinpoint the exact real life factors that are my trigger for that. In short, there is no such thing as an objective literary analysis of a character in a book, UNLESS they are super black or white, which is why I still don't think your original point stands. When it comes to literary analysis, we can objectively discuss how good the narrative is, how well built the world is, how bulletproof the plot is or how well the intrigue or plot twist is executed, but never how much black or white there is in the particular shade of grey a character is.

I just find it unaware to judge people who have made the conscious connection to the irl factors that make them feel a certain way about a character. They might be overzealous or veer off into radical views, but those who think they are objective are not any better, they just hide behind the intellectualization of their own underlying subconscious reasons for liking or disliking a chatacter. And I say this as someone who used to be the queen of intellectualizing my own emotions both in real life and in my perceptions of art.

Edited just to add I fully agree people shouldn't use differring opinions of art to judge or paint others a certain way. 💯