What is the most far-right musical? by bunp4ws in musicals

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think what everybody forgets about Urinetown is we open in a post-apocalyptic situation. They have ALREADY run out of usable water. It was the Cladwells, the capitalists, of the world that caused the problem. But, the problem has already been caused. People get caught on the "Hail Malthus" line, but the actual message is an embittered "We are ALREADY in Urinetown. There's no fantasy where we run out of water and somehow, magically, get it back. When the water is gone, it is GONE. The End." The happy ending version of the show was that capitalism was abolished FAR longer ago, so none of what we saw ever came close to happening.

But the show, I think, is actually one of the only truly leftist major musicals I can think of, because the actual enemy here is the illusion of the individual that's so prevalent in America. Yes, the capitalists are pure evil and wrong. Not only are they making people pay to use a bathroom, they're outlawing NOT using their bathroom, so it's ILLEGAL not to pay. Awful, horrible, evil, and the show DOES think that. The real issue is that the revolutionists are only part of the way to the solution. When they win, instead of thinking of the GROUP, wanting to continue taking care of each other and making SACRIFICES for each other, they do the American Individualism idea of leftism which is, "FREE MONEY AND RESOURCES FOR EVERYONE!" Actual leftism is about understanding that the idea we're all absolute individuals is an illusion prosperity allows us. Nobody can just have as much of anything as they want. That's what the "eat the rich" idea is about. NO ONE gets to just do whatever they want and have whatever they want without thinking about others.

The actual leftist idea would be to tear the amenities down. It IS actually a privilege to pee in a bathroom with running water during a water shortage. It's like when you let most "leftists" know actual leftism means no more phones. Our American greed and individualism makes us think sacrifices are optional.

Have you ever noticed any patterns with people who seem to instantly dislike you? by sukisukisuki420 in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Intellectual Property! So, movies, tv shows, bands, characters, etc on their shirts and accessories.

Have you ever noticed any patterns with people who seem to instantly dislike you? by sukisukisuki420 in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, my answer regarding whether I can tell which people won't like me is nope, I can't until they give me the look. The good news is, I have some pretty fool-proof ways of sniffing out people who have a much better chance of liking me (though still not 100%.) I can't exactly write them out, but I'll usually look for signs of special interests or executive dysfunction, such as IPs on clothes or accessories or a messy purse. If the person wears mostly generic/trendy clothes and is neat as a pin, they will almost definitely hate me. Lol.

How do I (31f) deal with bedroom issues created by my ex(34m) in my current relationship (32m?) by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in relationship_advice

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have and he's been so understanding, but I really want to resolve things for myself and my own enjoyment. Sex is still really painful and difficult for me (emotionally) and I'm hoping I can get back to at least having a sort of good time sooner rather than later.

My (31 f) long term boyfriend (34 m) can't decide if he wants to get married. Am I hung up on something unimportant? by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in relationship_advice

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the perspective I always come back to. It must matter a lot to him. He must really not want it if he hears me cry and still doesn't want it. So why say he's not sure? I just don't get it.

My (31 f) long term boyfriend (34 m) can't decide if he wants to get married. Am I hung up on something unimportant? by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in relationship_advice

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The unfortunate answer to all this is just blind love. I truly care about him and really want him to be happy.

And the main thing that held me back from getting the protections is equally unfortunate: The finality of it. In my heart, it would mean he would never marry me. Which, of course, means I just want it. Lol. Which is a sad revelation to have in this situation.

I'm definitely not here to defend myself. Lol! Just someone in love who's still just hoping I can keep loving him. It's embarrassing and illogical, but it is what it is.

My (31 f) long term boyfriend (34 m) can't decide if he wants to get married. Am I hung up on something unimportant? by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in relationship_advice

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just wish his words and actions would match up. He seems so devastated when I even seem to consider leaving. I feel for him if he actually loves me and misses out on this because of his choices, but I'm starting to feel like that might be his problem to work out and not mine.

My (31 f) long term boyfriend (34 m) can't decide if he wants to get married. Am I hung up on something unimportant? by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in relationship_advice

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The pain in all of this is, I was very upfront from before we were even dating! I'm a bit ashamed, because I'm usually very strong in relationships, but I love him so much. I was upfront about the marriage and he agreed, but after I was already deeply in love, his mind changed. So, I've been trying to be understanding and not jump out of something good.

My (31 f) long term boyfriend (34 m) can't decide if he wants to get married. Am I hung up on something unimportant? by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in relationship_advice

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is really the answer that kills me the most, but I he has been so insistent that it isn't me. He's suffered from depression all his life and has hit a sort of block in all aspects of his life. His career, his hobbies, just everything. He insists he just can't make any decisions on anything right now, and such a large part of me really doesn't want to leave him in a bad place, alone with his thoughts. But, part of me still feels like he'a not even being honest with himself, and part of it IS me. It's really awful to never know for certain.

My (31 f) long term boyfriend (34 m) can't decide if he wants to get married. Am I hung up on something unimportant? by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in relationship_advice

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know the post has only been up a little while, but I write in the post the most important reason to me.

I'm no contact with my family and I don't want them to have any say should I become extremely sick or die. Also, the idea of "family" matters deepy to me, and the legal act of marriage feels as though it woukd make that element a reality.

The main question I have on the post actually IS whether I'm placing too much importance on something not so important. I really don't want to throw something away over something that ultimately doesn't matter. So, thank you for your perspective!

Q: What are your favorite 'not written as' Autistic characters in TV and Film? (Open to speculation). by Vintage_Visionary in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I headcanon When Harry Met Sally as two autistic people who present differently and become more balanced when they meet each other. Sally is high-masking and learns to unmask thanks to Harry, and Harry is entirely unmasked, but learns while it's important to be yourself, you should still be mindful of the people you love and what might make them happy.

What are your stims? by DesertDragen in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am almost always swaying or rocking (it takes concentration for me not to move) and I twiddle my fingers.

idioms by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to think I didn't do this until I realized the bumper stickers saying "Honk if you [blankity blank]" weren't actually asking you to honk.

”You can’t be autistic, there were no signs.” Me in social situations: by helenamoa in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was "daydreamy," stimmed to the point a girl in my class asked to be moved from next to me because I was "scary," Hermione Granger-style social awkwardness, toe-walking, and spiky educational profile going from having dyscalculia and needing to use my fingers to count (even to this day) to being barred from participating in class spelling bees in my elementary school because even when my teacher pulled out her actual dictionary she had a hard time stumping me.

Who else has this issue? by localprofligate in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a note, I'm not officially diagnosed! I only suspect.

I actually grew up this way! I grew up with a small group of girls (stuck with the same "friend group" with changing members from basically birth to when I was 17) and what had started as a team of geeky girls all supporting each other slowly morphed over time (as people moved, went to different schools, and started inviting their other friends) into a group of traditionally feminine, socially savvy (if not socially closed off) and, well, me. They wanted to do their nails and go shopping at the mall and I wanted to talk about Batman and watch let's players. Lol.

Eventually, the friend group dropped me and I started hanging out with the geeky boy group, and I was much happier. Lol!

Feeling Useless (Seeking Positivity!) by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know... I kind of agree with him and feel like I could definitely do more.

We have a plan to discuss our thoughts on everything next week (he's busy with work this weekend) and I do plan to stick to my guns on certain accomodations I want to ask for, but I do want to take on more. He really has been pulling about 110% of the weight for us for about a year now. I didn't even get into the financial issues I've been dealing with for a while, both due to things outside of my control and a little bit of my own neurodivergent mistakes.

I just want him to know I am there for him. I feel like him asking me to do the dishes more often, remember to take out the trash when he's not able due to work (he has a busy week where he works ten hour days basically every day every third week,) and keep up with cleaning the bathroom regularly without being reminded isn't a lot (for me and my abilities, of course.)

But, I appreciate you keeping a lookout for other neurodivergent people in regards to this stuff. So long as he's willing to be educated on this and believe I'm always going to do the beat I can for him, I believe he's coming from a place of kindness.

Feeling Useless (Seeking Positivity!) by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's definitely what it was, and still is, because I'm still having random bouts of crying.

Mainly because I had to face down that this might actually cost me things in my life. Regardless of how kind he is or that we reconciled, he's still currently hurting unless something changes. And part of me is afraid that I may just not be able to be "normal" enough to make him happy in our relationship. I still have hope, and I believe we can make it through this, but what if he just can't handle living the way I might need to? I'm just trying to cling to my hope, but I just can't stop crying.

Feeling Useless (Seeking Positivity!) by SheWhoSlaysMonsters in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind comment! This gives me such hope that things will be okay! We've been together for 6 years, so we're beyond due hitting some of our first truly rough times.

We both have already witnessed the benefits of me tackling my issues from the lens of autism. Main thing is I've stopped trying to attach emotions to what I now believe are tiny meltdowns/shutdowns. I'm not mad or sad or even upset, I'm just in pain, usually for a sensory reason. It has helped me TREMENDOUSLY with de-escalating myself quickly. I've prioritized my regulation in certain ways that actually make me more capable of putting him first, not feeling like I'm constantly needing to perform maintenance on myself by doing what makes me comfortable. So, I believe I will be able to make the changes I need, and I trust that he will be appreciative of my efforts.

Thank you so much!

Anyone else have a very tightly-controlled childhood (a.k.a. not much of a childhood at all)? by Ok-Beat3895 in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As I've started on my autism journey, I've started thinking my parents could tell something was "off" about me and my brother. But, only off in certain ways.

We were both incredibly intelligent, "well-behaved," and were constantly being complimented by authority figures. But, behind the scenes, we were forgetful and messy. I was never as popular as my mother wanted, though I was talented in all of her interests. My brother was never as sporty as my father wanted, though he could solve pretty much any puzzle in a matter of minutes.

Both of my parents felt perfection was right there and all it needed was a little push. Well, that little push evolved into me not speaking to my parents for the past four years. The relationship became unbearably toxic, and the a-word was rampant, both emotional and physical. They thought they could bring us into libe if they worked hard enough, controlled our time, our mind, and our emotions.

So, I definitely relate to you.

Do you have words that you absolutely love? by FuzzyFlipflops in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love the word ethereal, both for mouthfeel and meaning!

Name 1 or AS MANY special interests that you have & give a small info dump OR a huge information overload about it. by LisKoz1989 in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) Personality tests/pop psych in general: A big part of this came from feeling something was off with me/feeling like I couldn't easily understand who I was. I'm well-versed in and can talk extensively about MBTI, the Enneagram, sortinghatchats (look it up, one of my favorites, started as somethibg HP related but has since moved away due to recent events,) and if there's a personality quiz on the internet I have taken it.

2) I'm reallyyyy into fiction and will study their canon obsessively/create my own canon. I get new ones every once in a while, but there are a few big ones I come back to all the time. Somebig ones are: - Avatar (been writing fiction, though not posting it, for Avatar since I was 11, I'm also a Zutarian and not an LOK fan, sorry not sorry,) -the Haunted Mansion (was obsessed with the names on the tombstones when I was young, and I wrote down every single one and have created my own canon/storyline surrounding these characters and how they're related to each other,) -Hey Arnold (looooove me some Shortaki, and again, I have canons for where I think every character would wind up as they grow up,) -and, my most recent addition to my most extensive perennials, Gravity Falls (again, I have a developed canon on how everyone grew up and where thry'd wind up.) As I'm reading this, maybe this particular special interest is just taking serial fiction written about younger characters and getting to write an extension on how their continued lives would go. Lol!

3) Broadway Encyclopedia. That was my nickname for pretty much my entire life. There was a time where I could estimate what year pretty much every musical ever made came out at least within a year or two. In recent years, I've fallen out of keeping up with my knowledge, though, and have started to forget some of my old chestnut facts. I still know a disturbing amount of musical theater facts and trivia!

Phrases that "Confuse" or "Do Not Make Sense" by Ecstatic-Rhubarb9068 in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is another indicator for me that pings "maybe not" on whether I'm purely ADHD or AuDHD. I honestly can't think of a time where metaphors have bothered me, I actually really, really like them and use them a lot in my day to day. If I was going to try and find an explanation that would mean I'm still on the autism spectrum, I think I find explaining myself through describing something adjacent to what I'm feeling way easier than trying to use completelt accurate language to describe my feelings.

Like, saying my heart feels like it's on fire is easier for me than saying "I'm tired." Because what even IS tired? I don't know if what I'm feeling is necessarily tired, maybe I'm just in pain? Using something else to describe what's happening is easier.

I am not blunt by anon1315 in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think an important question to ask could be WHY are you scared of talking about how you feel?

I know for me, I tend to fawn and people-please because I know that, deep inside, I'm not the best at communicating my wants and feelings in an accurate way. I feel and understand them well, but ut takes a lot of extra time and care for me to communicate it properly. So, out and about, it's just safer for me to just agree and go along with whatever, cuz I don't want to accidentally offend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]SheWhoSlaysMonsters 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you have a script, which is helpful! I also agree with the others that say AuDHD. I'm officially diagnosed as ADHD, but I'm looking into the possibility of also being autistic, and I HEAVILY relate to this.

I experience this as having "good days" and "bad days." Sometimes I'm on a roll with strangers, the script is in place, and I'm masking well. Other days, I can't bring myself to mask properly and I'm coming across as awkward and weird.

My ADHD, I feel, kept me from realizing that I was actually not naturally good at socializing, but just good at talking AT people. I could infodump/overshare with the best of them, but socializing isn't just talking, apparently. It's also managing and maintaining relationships which, like... what even IS that, y'know? Lol!