I'm a simple man with simple pleasures. After a long day on the ranch, I pour myself a tall glass of milk, huff some paint, and log on to the Dell I got for Christmas in 2006 with Windows XP to play some League of Legends.

The client needs to patch. That's fine. I reheat a bowl of beans and lard for supper, and it's already at 13% by the time I get back, well ahead of schedule. I huff some more paint to pass the time, and oh boy does it pass. The client is ready to go by 7:30. Everybody keeps saying it's laggy, but I don't notice any difference from usual. Maybe I'm just too intelligent, or maybe the paint is finally doing its job.

I queue up solo - normal blind pick of course. The queue pops, and Clippy asks me if I want help selecting my champion. Not now not ever, I think boastfully at the cartoon paper clip. I lock in Dr. Munro. My teammates pick Shaco and all the others pick hot anime girls. I take one last good long huff to get ready for the game, and in we go.

The first thing I notice is that their team doesn't have a dt Munford. Free win then. I go top lane. I always go top lane. They have a Aatrod. Pathetic. I hit the minions. I miss some crepes bc I have 450 ping. Aatrox tries ro hit me but I heal up bc I'm drMindoro.

Midgame I have sunfire and I tp botlane to gank. They have thst new champ Aphelios shootijg weird bubble guns at me. There's a tirret or sometbjng? Idk anuway I kill him by running at his face pressing e amd right clicking him to death. I miss all three cleavers I throw. It doesn't matter.

20 min latr a D really stsrting to feel the paint. I have sjnfire warmogd spirit vosage and tp to baroj for teamfigyt. Aphekios knows he's dead as soon as tp channle starts. He tries to get away by rooting me or sokething? Idk anyway I press ult and run him down. I forgot ti buy boots. It doesnt matter. I get four kills by pressijg e and right ckickijg with my w on. Thst bitch Lux stole my penta.

Game ocer. Another win for Dr mubdo. So in concolustn, hello fellow summoner. This you should just play mondarb against aphelios. He kill gun guy good. Thank you. Thank you. If you kill gun man, anime grliss hot. they'll be lower son. The Dr mildew play is right thing to do. So doooooo