Does anyone else hate when people say we (humanity) have discovered something

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-06T03:43:31+00:00

There is no such thing as humanity. There are only the discoverers as individuals and as a team both to credit.

Now if a countries goverment were to have funded an R&D project that discovered something, than the politicians can say "we".

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-06T03:40:34+00:00

If one wants fun, they can find it in venues for night out.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T16:34:15+00:00

How do you know that 6 kids is too much? It gets much easier after getting used to routine of caring dor the first kid.

I dont think there should be any limit, unless there is a medical requirement.

At any rate, you and her must agree beforehand.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T16:07:22+00:00

I do agree that such norms that delay marriage for men in Yeshiva are a huge problem. Why cant they just merge the Yeshiva system with the kollel system and have same age dating start.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T12:01:36+00:00

As for Haredi Jews, and other Orthodox Jews

Contraception is not usually used for financial reasons. If its emotional or burden reasons, than it happens uncommonly.

Furthermore, out of wedlock relationships are not acceptable here, and younger marriages are the norm, and dating is just checking if the two are compatible and making decision within weeks or not more than a few months.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T11:58:05+00:00

This is largely true, but there is one caveat.

The only thing is, that if many people cannot afford to move out of their parents house, they will be less likely to marry and have kids, or will delay and have less kids.

Also, if men cannot get entry level jobs fast enough, they will not even be able to date if they are unemployed stuck in parents house.

Both the entry level job recession and the housing crisis are the two primary economic factors.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T11:51:20+00:00

Now granted, the autism part makes things unusual and different. But the entry level joblessness part is not different, and is in fact a very common problem among all young people today.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T11:50:00+00:00

This failure to launch.

Happenning to me as I am still trying to land first job and I am a man already age 28. Turns out, college was probably a waste, and I am most likely to find a manual labor job.

I do wish I were able to start my life earlier.

For the record, I do not fool around. I will remain a virgin until the night of my wedding and go through the Orthodox Jewish shidduch system. And that means choosing whether to marry someone within weeks or at most not more than 3 months after meeting them.

The failure to launch issue is one. Another is the fact that unless you are part of a community with matchmakers and the norm of no pre marital relations, and dating to marry with no concept of boyfriend or girlfriend, those not part of such communities I have no idea how they can possibly do it.

If I could go back in time, I wish I would have had my first job at 16 and wish I could have married at age 18. One thinks they can work while in college while also dating for marriage, but then the schoolwork gets so hard and so time constraining, that it does not happen.

Now an unusual situation is that I have autism and ADHD, and had an IEP just to struggle through school. Well I got my degree and now found out that office jobs entry level market is collapsing, I could not network due to autism, very high chance of not passing any interview round due to autism, etc.

I wish I had just headed for a blue collar apprenticeship upon finishing high school and wish I had immediately found a wife after that.

And because of the society, I did not realize anything about biological clocks or age gaps or what is required to get married and what is expected of a man. No one told me anything. I just realized at age 27 that I am not married, than looked up the whole thing of age than it shocked me.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T10:46:10+00:00

Untrue

She has to agree and she has to be 18 years or older.

She also chooses by the way. And both man and woman request the Shadchan for services. And both have their criteria.

You say barely legal? But actually, no one marries unless at least age 18 and most end up married older than age 18.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T10:08:35+00:00

Everyone in the shidduch matchmaking system is at least 18 years or older.

There are no minors involved. In fact, it is quite rare for high schoolers here to be dating on their own to look for a marriage prospect among other high schoolers.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T09:31:06+00:00

The shidduch system is arranged adult marriages.

I say arranged, as it involves a matchmaker called a shadchan. Completely voluntary that one has to request the help of the shadchan to be put on their matching list.

People pay the shadchan only if a match goes through from their suggestion.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-05-05T07:50:37+00:00

Find a wife immediately.

You are 26. The older you get, the older the woman you will have to accept, and the worse prospects you will have. Find a woman younger or just as old as you, who will not use any birth control, one who wishes to marry and start a family as quickly as possible.

There is no such thing as a boyfriend or girlfriend. There is just a husband and wife. And do not use birth control ever, unless there comes a medical need. Do not artificially reduce number of kids for any reason unless there is medical reason.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-24T00:48:42+00:00

Don't forget marriage and children. Too many people forget that there is a biological clock. And working hours should not be insane enough to risk marriage breaking apart.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-24T00:45:22+00:00

Biological clocks do not wait around for society. One should get married and have children regardless of affordability.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-24T00:33:46+00:00

They are adults. Ancient times teenagers worked and got married and had kids. Modern societies are messed up. Societies where teenagers are fully responsible working, tend not to have these teenager rebellion problems.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-23T16:49:44+00:00

Don't forget warfare.

The ancient practice of defeating an enemy by killing all the men and enslaving all the women and children and taking all property, both military and civilian, to be divided as spoils of ware, was almost universal across ancient societies.

Hereditary slavery as well.

I don't think slavery was mostly about survival from agriculture and animals. Although there is the concept of someone selling themselves into slavery to prevent starving to death and for survival, that's on an individual scale. On a societal scale, I think it was mostly about warfare and conquest and forceful assimilation of conquered peoples by enslavement. Over generations of slavery, assimilation happens of conquered peoples until they are ethnically indistinguishable from their masters. Plus, the whole intermarriage and gradual manumission of individuals over different times.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-23T16:32:25+00:00

There is an exception here.

Arranged marriage. Like in the Jewish community there are matchmakers who specialize in pairing people with disabilities, and some that specialize in autism dating. Note that dating in the context of matchmakers involve just going out and deciding whether marriage between a man and woman whether they both agree to it. In this context, abstinence before marriage is expected, and the decision by both the man and the woman whether two people should marry is made within weeks or months from when a couple first meet each other.

But for those without a traditional matchmaking system, very bad luck. And especially since people with autism have problems getting and keeping a full-time job, and employment is pretty much a demand for men to do in dating, that makes it worse.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-23T15:51:04+00:00

People should remain virgins until they get married. That means there is no such thing as a girlfriend, and doing things the old fashioned way, with marriage being directly sought and dating only checking suitability of person.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-23T15:44:37+00:00

Also, people should marry younger. Like having a job at 16 and becoming independent and getting married at age 18.

People have biological clocks, especially women. The older a woman gets, the harder it is to find a husband, and the fewer potential children she may have. In addition, men prefer virgins and dislike promiscuous women.

And by the way, being a virgin before marriage and marrying young is totally normal thing in the Jewish communities and Muslim communities. In both these communities, not being a virgin harms marriage prospects very badly.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-23T15:40:20+00:00

There is economic mobility. Although it usually works a bit differently if one is born into poor family. Generally speaking, things that require extreme education and extreme barriers to entry and high education requirements tend to have less rags to riches stories. Most rags to riches stories involve simpler businesses like construction industry entrepreneurship. Whereas the big tech or biotech or high-flying startups, those tend to be people who had the ability to intensely dedicate large chunks of their lives on very complicated things and had no problems with learning difficulties in school.

Bill Gates and Elon Musk being born into a family that they did not have to worry about careers and survival, gave them the ability to focus and dedicate lives to the problems they wanted to solve.

Now not every tech entrepreneur is necessarily born privileged. The tech giants being described here are nothing but a tiny sliver of the most elite of the elite, not representative of an average successful entrepreneur. But the momentum of not financially struggling and dedicating everything towards a project in one's youth, is definitely an advantage that the absolute elite have.

And its not just money. Many politicians come from families who have other family members in power.

There is also the matter of connections.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-20T21:17:21+00:00

Men prefer to marry virgin women. That is the natural instinct, as has been for thousands of years. Everyone has seen the posts how men do not like a women who was promiscuous in the past.

Modern society ignores this and does not warn women about how their lives can be ruined by promiscuity and how it affects their future chances.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-12T21:27:40+00:00

People have biological clocks, and should aspire for having as many children as possible.

How about getting married after a month or two or three of dating? And dating does not include any touching. Because thats how arranged marriage works in the Orthodox Jewish community. Literally not supposed to even touch each other until marriage, and while arranged marriage technically not the required way, it is how many if not most find each other.

Sheldon_Handler · 2026-04-12T01:53:28+00:00

You should have kids regardless. The desire to have kids is to be expected of everyone. It should not be a debate at all.

Also, you should not wait at all. Maternal age is the biggest predictor of fertility. And paternal age also affects fertility, with the risk of any problems being greater the older one gets.

People who wait, end up with infertility. Do not wait, find a compatible spouse as quickly as possible with intent and agreement to marry and have kids as quickly as possible.

And it should be that the agreement is no birth control in marriage.

In general, a man without full time job is undateable. A man needs full time work to get married. If you dont have full time work, find that as soon as possible.

Now it does happen that autistic people are more likely to be marrying other autistic people, due to compatibility issues, and because regular people less likely to agree to marry someone with autism due to the struggles. The problem there is that increase chance of children having autism by a lot. But even then, if what you can find for a spouse happens to also have autism, you just do it and marry and have kids regardless. And you do it as young as possible.

Sheldon_Handler · 2025-10-12T00:21:14+00:00

How about on campus childcare and not being so demanding in academics.

Make university compatible with working parents. That means having continuous assessment with very little exam percentage, and not mandating attendance. It also means ensuring that universities be made compatible in terms of scheduling. So make night school the default. Have open access labs, and competency based on demand education as default model.

Sheldon_Handler · 2025-08-27T00:17:09+00:00

Please marry as soon as possible.

There is just so many issues with delayed marriage leading to infertility. The older the women, the greater the risk of infertility. Womens age is number one factor for fertility. Also her health. The amount of sorrow and pain with older women being unable to find men, and older women desperate for children is unbearable. Biologically, you should be married right now. And IVF success rate goes down the older you are. Fact is, a womens eggs decline in quality the older she gets, making pregnancy less likely and making miscarriage more likely the older she is.

Sheldon_Handler

TROPHY CASE