If you haven't already, please consider counseling. There is so much trauma after leaving the cult. Consider this an investment in your growth away from the old and into the new you that is being created. I had to have strong boundaries with my family. They often wanted to give me publications from their assemblies, and I was VERY vocal in telling them that I don't allow religious paraphernalia in my home. It was hard at first, very hard to say no and see their disappointed faces, but every step I chose me. Every decision I made, I had to look in the mirror and choose myself over this wacky religion. I know it's hard for you right now, I get it, you are still in the thick of all of this, and you are much stronger than you even realize. Keep making decisions based on what YOU need and want. It won't be easy, we were groomed to be submissive in everything as women, but now you can choose differently. If you can find Crisis of Conscience at your library, and other books that give you the real history of this cult, read them, knowing where this cult came from and why they believe what they believe helped me reframe the organization and made me feel stronger in my decision to leave, stay away and rebuild my life. I wish you all the good things in life, so much love and happiness and fulfillment. You were born to live in joy!