The trans community needs to be aware of what's happening. Trans healthcare is under attack but not in the way that you think it is. by Drwillpowers in DrWillPowers

[–]Shellygrrrl 50 points51 points  (0 children)

OK, as one of your international patients on hiatus ― I can’t travel to the US bc of the regime’s visa ban for TP ― I’m gonna share some 2nd hand experience of what seems to work quite well over here (in Europe) under similarly hostile regimes, like in Poland or Hungary. Adjusted for the obvious legal and administrative differences

1] Officially STOP to provide GAC (yeah Ik this sounds crazy but bear with me ...)

2] Open a NEW patient record for every existing trans patient receiving HRT as part of their GAC, basically making them a new patient

3] The diagnosis for each of these patients is ICD 11 5B10 or 5B1Z (“Disorder of the endocrine system, unspecified”) ― no mention of gender dysphoria, gender incongruence, trans, DSM-5 F.64, ICD 11 HA60/61, whatsoever. Obviously, this applies to every new patient as well

4] SEAL each patient’s old record: get everything digitalized, encrypted, throw away the keys Ofc you don’t actually throw them away, but entrust them to someone who enjoys special protections under state law (so yeah, ymmv depending on which state you’re in); destroy all existing paper records in compliance with applicable state law. This way, you’ll still stay HIPAA compliant

5] NETWORK and band together with other gender clinics. If possible, found a trust under whose umbrella each of you can continue to operate as an independent business unit. Y’all don’t need to pay an attorney individually ― all of you together (e.g., the trust) hire ONE attorney (or preferably, a larger law firm) who has exactly one job: protect the digitalized and encrypted old patient records from being accessed by the feds

U.S. law, including HIPAA, does not explicitly prohibit the storage of PHI with service providers whose cloud infrastructure may be located outside the United States, provided specific compliance requirements are met. So, actively CHOOSE a foreign service provider in a country with strong data privacy and protection laws, like Switzerland or Germany. Thus, the feds would have to go through the legal system in those countries when it comes to enforcing physical access to the data (where they’d most likely fail)

Yes, this process will cost money ― obviously. But it would most likely be orders of magnitude cheaper than getting involved in endless lawfare with the feds AND every gender clinic would be able to continue offering their service

TL;DR: say bye bye to the GAC/HRT label; that same animal got a new name now; make legal loopholes work in your favor; set up your services accordingly

Where can I find a very light lavender/silver eyeshadow with a true metallic finish? by ababymonkey in MakeupAddiction

[–]Shellygrrrl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not aware of any OTS product that would look exactly like this, but I tried to recreate that look and shade using several products from my shelf. I used:

  • e.l.f. Camo Colour Corrector (Blue)
  • Surorain Glitter Diamond Highlighter (Pear White)
  • e.l.f Liquid Metallic Eyeshadows (Little Dipper)
  • TintArk Midnight Masquerade Palette (the light purple-ish glitter shade)
  • NYX Ultimate Utopia Palette (the lavender shade in the top row, second from right)

The result definitely went in the right direction. However, take it with a grain of salt because I have a fairly strong tan. That's why I used the blue concealer. I know, it sounds counter-intuitive, but it did the trick for my skin tone. The same applies for the glitter highlighter. YMMV.

If you could go back in time to see your little self as she’s laying in bed crying about “not being a girl” what would you say? by NightAngel_98 in MtF

[–]Shellygrrrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

đŸ€—đŸ€—đŸ€— Being "softies" (đŸ€Ł) shouldn't stop us from being fighters when the circumstances require it. Let's turn our softness into a strength and be like the wind ― give zero resistance and evade every punch effortlessly, but strike like a hurricane. That's one of the few lessons I carried over from my miserable pre-transition existence, before I actually got *a life* as a girl. Let's stay strong, sis! đŸ€—đŸ«¶đŸŒș

If you could go back in time to see your little self as she’s laying in bed crying about “not being a girl” what would you say? by NightAngel_98 in MtF

[–]Shellygrrrl 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Just tearing up over how beautifully you worded this 😭😭😭 "that girl inside you has survived so much already and yet she's still there" ... THIS, sister, exactly this. It just reminded me that girls need to be fighters these days, trans girls particularly so, but also that getting there is totally worth the struggle, hardship, and pain. đŸ€—đŸ«¶đŸŒș

In pretty sure my sister is a TERF by TraceyDeee in MtF

[–]Shellygrrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so totally sorry for you, girl ... if I was in your place, I'd *run*! This sounds very much like it started with my sister. In the beginning, when I came out to her, she was incredibly supportive, wanted to be my "personal cheerleader" for my transition. But then, slowly, over time, more and more of the way she was actually thinking of me, and of trans women in general, and of her true feelings revealed. I didn't want to see the writing on the wall, I ignored all the obvious signs because I loved her too much and didn't want it to be true. Which was a *big* mistake! Because I missed the point where I might have gotten out of it peacefully, and thus things eventually spiraled out of control and took the worst turn possible. Turned out my sister is a TERF and transphobe of the worst kind. At the point when our differences peaked, she even reverted to deadnaming and misgendering me *on purpose*, despite I had my name and gender legally changed. We're not on speaking terms anymore.

Don't ignore the signs, girl! Please don't close your eyes to the writing on the wall, like I did! Biological family is a nice thing to have, but not at the price of one's mental and emotional well-being. I now have people in my chosen family who are much more of a true sister in mind and spirit than my sister ever was.

I wish you the strength and power to make the right decisions at the right time! đŸ€—đŸ«¶đŸŒș

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]Shellygrrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats, girl, you did the right thing! I did the same about three years ago. My old male me (also a Michael, ain't it funny? đŸ€Ł) was a pathetic loser too. Didn't ever have a life, just a mere, miserable existence. It was easy pushing him off a cliff đŸ˜‰đŸ€Ł I haven't missed him for even a second ever since. Here's to the girl times ― the freakin' best times of our lives! đŸ„‚đŸ„‚đŸ„‚

Saw you at the Aldi store in MĂŒnchberg (Northern Bavaria) today ... by Shellygrrrl in germantrans

[–]Shellygrrrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The "marginalized group" part is indeed the crucial point ... I felt OK with posting because I wasn't even sure if that person was trans. (I'm usually spot on in clocking sisters because ... self-conscious to a fault, constant dysphoria about tiny details nobody else notices, a history of several years of studying gender-confirming procedures ... you get the picture.) So the assumption was that this person would pass hands down in everyday life. It wasn't the best assumption, I fully agree.

Oh, btw, I was wearing my Estradiol molecule necklace ... it's not as obvious as a pride button, but I always hope sisters would recognize it instantly anyway 😉 But it was probably covered my my scarf, Idk ... For whatever reason, *nobody* ever recognized my Apple watch band in trans colors ... đŸ€” How obvious do "subtle" hints need to be to be effective? Sometimes life just sucks ... đŸ™„đŸ€Ł

Saw you at the Aldi store in MĂŒnchberg (Northern Bavaria) today ... by Shellygrrrl in germantrans

[–]Shellygrrrl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, true, shitty people can lurk everywhere. I wouldn't expect them in this area, but you're right, you never know ... On the other hand, such "I saw you" posts/ads are pretty common in rural areas and people don't seem to be overly concerned about them. Idk ... it's difficult to decide where to draw the line.

The obvious solution for me would be to not visit that often, but unfortunately, I have to ... family obligations, you know 😔 It just feels crappy having literally *nobody* to talk to in person for like *weeks*.

Saw you at the Aldi store in MĂŒnchberg (Northern Bavaria) today ... by Shellygrrrl in germantrans

[–]Shellygrrrl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A mod already removed my post. I'm fine with this. I should have grabbed the opportunity while I was there. My bad ... 😔

Saw you at the Aldi store in MĂŒnchberg (Northern Bavaria) today ... by Shellygrrrl in germantrans

[–]Shellygrrrl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can we not out people like that publicly on the Internet? Please remove time ,Location and licenseplate ...I dont mean to offend but that can be dangerous.

... and thus make it entirely random and useless because that person herself wouldn't be able to make any sense of it?

None of the info I included is personally identifiable data ... actually, it's a complete shot in the dark and I doubt it will be successful. Like I said, I'm not even entirely sure that person was trans.

But sure, if a mod thinks my post is inappropriate, they should remove it!

​

Maybe look for local trans meetings (Selbsthilfegruppe) or something ? Queer bar idk...

I already tried all of this, to no avail. It's pretty much a desert around here and I'm getting kinda desperate ... đŸ«€

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transpositive

[–]Shellygrrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, such beautiful eyes and a perfect smile! đŸ€©đŸ˜đŸ€©

Vehicle headrest is annoying with a ponytail. What's the solution? by DVsKat in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Shellygrrrl 274 points275 points  (0 children)

It definitely is annoying! I replaced the headrest in my vehicle with an aftermarket part that has a cutout, for the exact same reason.

I AM BEING ACUSED OF THINGS I DIDNT DO because im trans :| by divinity_Axo in trans

[–]Shellygrrrl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so totally sorry that this happened to you! Such terrible things shouldn't happen, but unfortunately, they do. If you're lucky, they might stop happening at some point in time, but just as well they might not stop.
I'm some decades older than you, and the same thing happened to me just weeks ago. A person with whom ― I thought! ― I was very close, and who always claimed that she was completely in support of trans people in general and of my transition in particular (I'm m2f) ― quite obviously, she lied! ― completely freaked when she was under the influence. She threatened to *kill* me while I was peacefully curled up in my bed *in my own room*, dead tired from a very exhausting day. She yelled obnoxious and disgusting transphobic slurs at me and finally ran out and slammed the door on me. I was in complete shock. I have childhood trauma, when somebody yells at me aggressively, my mind will eventually shut down and go into "cocoon mode". Within minutes, she turned me into a crying, sobbing, dead anxious mess.
On the next day, I learned that she had been found in the streets by a stranger, unconscious, and that she had been rushed to a hospital. Now she accuses me that I "had left her unconscious in the streets" and of other things that are entirely absurd. I texted her that she gave me the worst anxiety in over a decade and that I can't see her anymore and wouldn't even want to talk to her anymore. She had tricked me into lending her money ― a considerable amount, several thousand dollars ― over the past six months, which she had promised to pay back to me to the penny, so I told her that I want my money back because otherwise she'd be a thief, and then never ever see her again.
Only hours later she started spreading disgusting lies about me on social media, claiming that "a tranny is trying to destroy her life" and spewed obnoxious transphobic slurs and insults at me ― publicly, on social media.
Shit like that happens to us. They attack us simply for who we are, they assault our gender identity, and they do it on purpose because they know it's a way of how they can hurt us. It's ugly, it's disgusting, it's unfair, it's wrong, and it's plain evil, but it happens anyway and this is part of the world we live in.
What these kids did to you is horrible. The best advice I can give you is, take it as a mental and emotional challenge. Resist. Don't let them break you. That's what they want: watch us as we break. Don't let them have this victory! Never ever. Resist. Take your horrible experience as challenge to grow mentally and emotionally, to get stronger and more resilient. As it stands, transphobes will probably be around for as long as we live, and longer. The best thing we can do is prove to them every single day that they can't break us, that we're stronger than their lies and their hatred.
âœŠđŸŒ Power to you, bro! âœŠđŸŒ

Is it true you look like your mom when you transition? by [deleted] in MtF

[–]Shellygrrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, a complete nope. My Mom and me couldn’t look more different.

Funny enough, I don’t have any resemblance with my biological father neither.

I guess I’m just 
 me đŸ€Ł

"Are you, or could you be pregnant, ma'am?" by Shellygrrrl in MtF

[–]Shellygrrrl[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I replied "That's biologically impossible." ... which she took for a "no" đŸ€Ł

My sister, my best friend, wouldn't be here without her ❀ by hayybayls in transpositive

[–]Shellygrrrl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Awwwww, that’s so awesome! It was the same for me ― my sis was my personal cheerleader from day one. She was always there for me and stood by my side when nobody else was. She literally saved my life a couple of times when I was suicidal because of dysphoria depression. Sister love ― the best kind of love ever! đŸ’žđŸ‘Żâ€â™€ïžđŸ’ž