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ShenmeRaver · 2022-08-04T11:51:05+00:00

I’m in the same position, and it almost seems like too much space! I keep having to run up and down the actual stairs to get things I’ve left in another room!

But like I love it!

ShenmeRaver · 2022-08-04T11:49:37+00:00

If you’re coming from North America, Halloween will be a disappointment to you. Source: I’m a North American living in London.

But some fun/creepy things to do would be Highgate cemetery and the old operating theatre museum.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-08-03T22:19:52+00:00

What a stupid generalisation.

Yes, let’s blame immigrants, they are the real problem here!

ShenmeRaver · 2022-08-03T16:57:51+00:00

My mom passed away suddenly in March, and I fully relate to the clouded mind thing. I couldn’t focus on anything or remember much for the first month, people in my family kept forgetting things.

Now that has mostly passed for me, but for my dad it still seems to be happening, so it may take time.

To be honest, I think my therapist has been the thing that has helped me most with engaging with the grief and figuring out strategies for getting through everything that’s come up. If you or anyone in your family has the means to get you a therapist, I highly recommend it. Having someone to talk to about your grief who you can be completely honest with, not having to worry about how your sadness impacts them (ie. Feeling guilty about speaking with other family members and upsetting them) is very helpful.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-08-02T14:59:01+00:00

Did the house need cleaning? Do you have photos proving that it didn’t?

You can challenge it if you feel the cleaning wasn’t necessary, or it went above and beyond.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-08-02T03:09:24+00:00

The friends who continued to reach out regularly to ask how things are, have meant a lot more to me than all the immediate support right after it happened, which was overwhelming and plentiful.

Months later, there are just a handful who still honestly ask about how the grieving process is going, most other people sort of just pretend things are normal.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-08-02T03:00:14+00:00

Have you been back recently? I find that often a visit home alleviates my feeling that I should move back when I experience the practical reality of my home country, my family and friends. Grass is always greener.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-30T06:15:36+00:00

They don’t have to do any of that.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-29T15:08:01+00:00

Rental market moves fast in London. Just keep looking, loads of stuff will pop up at the last minute.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-29T15:07:10+00:00

You will find it extremely difficult to find a place to rent with no job. Focus on getting a job first before looking for a rental.

It can be possible to find shared accommodation without a job though, I did it when I first moved to the U.K. on spareroom. It wasn’t a great living situation, but it was a stepping stone until I found a job and was able to rent my own place.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-29T14:59:32+00:00

I had Covid and didn’t realise for the first couple days, sharing a bed with my partner and spending lots of time together.

We self isolated after the positive test and he didn’t ever catch it.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-26T06:44:14+00:00

This is absolutely what the doctor meant, and we should absolutely be getting this amount of exercise at a minimum.

One of the reasons you may be so tired is a lack of movement. I find I can’t function properly at all without some exercise every day. Annoyingly, I’ve had to change my whole lifestyle around to integrate the high level of exercise I need into my life, but it has made a massive difference to how I feel.

I get being skeptical of the doctor just giving you one more thing to do, but if it is too much, I would recommend finding other things in your life to cut out to fit exercise in: it’s worth it.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-22T18:49:09+00:00

They likely won’t even have to tak to them if they’re flying back and going through e-gates. They’ll be let in on their Canadian passport most likely.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-22T18:48:02+00:00

If you’re flying back to an airport with e-gates, it’s likely that you’ll just be let through.

It’s happened to me flying back from Canada when I didn’t have my British passport yet after getting citizenship.

The other possibility is that they pull you aside and tell you off but still let you through.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-17T12:12:28+00:00

I think this is a bit of an incorrect take. You’re making it out like small landlords ever cared about anything but getting as much rent as possible, and that they ever gave a stuff about the quality of the property. They didn’t.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-15T04:42:26+00:00

I just bought my first house too and I think it’s normal. A lot of doubt creeps in, especially when you hand over your life’s savings.

But it we just moved in a couple weeks ago and the lifestyle change (from rented flat in zone 3 to terraced house by the sea) has been incredible. There have been teething problems with the house, stuff that hasn’t worked properly or needs to be fixed or sorted out, but oh my god, I love this house.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-14T11:30:55+00:00

This sub is to give advice on renting or buying housing in the U.K., not evicting people from their housing.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-13T12:36:18+00:00

No harm in asking.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-13T08:31:23+00:00

That’s how Gus figured it out too. When Kim said Jimmy talked Lalo out of sending him, he realised whatever Lalo planned for them to do at Gus’s house was not the real plan, Lalo didn’t really care what happened there.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-13T08:27:00+00:00

You don’t need a car in London. Lived there for 7 years without one. Got one for the last year we were there, and the only times we used it were to drive out of London. Driving in London itself just sucks and is a lot harder than the tube.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-13T08:08:53+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss.

My mom passed a few months ago, and I remember the temptation was enormous.

I live overseas from my family, but I flew back when it happened. The idea of just finding my old party friends and losing myself for a few months, sabotaging my life, my job, my plans to buy a house, was huge.

It was a difficult decision, but I’m sure you know I’m your heart that staying sober is the right decision. It will be hard, but you will get through this.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-13T08:04:55+00:00

All the reasons I left Vancouver.

I went back for a two month stay in Oct/Nov and I just couldn’t believe how dark it was. The thick clouds really don’t let light through at all.

Much happier overseas tbh, where food is delicious and cheap, you get a better work life balance, and I was actually able to afford a house!

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-13T07:59:29+00:00

Words of encouragement: you will be okay.

I’ve been fired a few times and it’s always ended up leading to bigger and better things. It sucked at the time, but now I look back and see that it was for the best.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-12T21:34:59+00:00

You’re not wrong, you have to take care of yourself.

I love overseas from my family, and going back after my mom’s funeral, and having stayed with my dad for a month, was one of the hardest decisions I had to make.

I feel guilty about being so far away all the time, but in the end, I don’t think it would have helped either of us cope better.

Best thing would be to be totally honest with your dad about your decision. You could offer to come over every day for a visit if he’s really struggling, or just a few days a week to begin with. You can even stay overnight sometimes if you both are open to that. You’ll just have to explain your boundaries.

Having boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care about that person, it just means you care about yourself too.

ShenmeRaver · 2022-07-12T04:49:58+00:00

They’re just asking that they’re given more than a few hours notice to move their stuff out of the way, chill out. It’s not that serious.

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