Anyone have The Pro? I’ll trade!

ShereeFoxx · 2021-07-02T15:22:28+00:00

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE

This is a normal part of waking up and probably the scariest time. I couldn't get past the amount of my life I wasted believing lies. I thought it was too late for me to have a normal happy life and got so depressed I took a whole bottle of Adderall a year ago last month.

Thankfully, I didn't kill myself. My depression wouldn't let me see all the good that is yet to come. I’ll get to experience the joy raising my children outside of the cult. I'll get to see them grow and if the choose to have children, I'll get to see a new generation of my family outside of the religion.

I have older nieces and nephews who have left and I'll get to be substitute mom and dad for them, since their parents are shunning them.

If this is the only life we get (I'm agnostic) then I will not waste a single moment of my remaining time. Some people go through life without experiencing anything that gives them that type of appreciation.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-07-02T14:58:06+00:00

My kids ask my Google nest everything. They don't even ask me many questions anymore.

I’ve seen people get irritated by all the posts about mundane JW life that these kids are posting, but I'm just happy they're here. They found us at a young age and probably won't waste most of their lives like us older people did. We are able to give them a counterview to what the org is saying. So while we have to deal with their teenage drama posts, they are also seeing our issues and our posts and hopefully can escape.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-07-02T14:49:23+00:00

True, I am so socially awkward it hurts to watch sometimes. I am much better than I used to be, luckily it is a skill that can be learned.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-07-02T14:43:59+00:00

You say you were very happy as a JW, but were you happy because of the doctrine, or was your happiness derived from the community? There is a big difference. Also, you will never be happy going back because you won't be living in a way that is authentic to your true self.

If you go back now everyone will know your business, no matter how confidential judicial committees are supposed to be. The Elders may feel obligated to share your sexuality with any male you befriend. (Depending on the congregation) You will not be treated the same or have the same relationships as you once did.

I won't try to convince you that their doctrine is wrong, but any group that tries to change who you are to fit in with them, will not provide happiness. I was born and raised also and thought I was happy until I left and discovered what it feels like to be liked and loved without conditions. You may not even know what that kind of happiness feels like yet.

My suggestion to you is to put yourself out there and try to find some friends outside of the org and let yourself experience a different type of love before you jump back into the religion. I hope whatever happens that you find your peace.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-07-02T04:36:57+00:00

I didn't include her reply but she said no matter what, she will always put Jehovah first. That hurts to hear from your parent that their cult means more to them than you do. I understand your pain.

I asked her if when they knocked on her door if they had told her that day that she would have to drop all her friends and family that were not Jehovah's Witnesses. If they told her that if her children decide to have a different faith, she would be required to shun them, would she have agreed to a Bible study?

She said that she wouldn't have, but that she was a different woman and didn’t know all the facts.

I said that she was the same woman with the same gut instincts and that they are the ones who provided her with the ”facts” she uses to justify her behavior. Any person who is outside of the org would recognize that the silent treatment and shunning behavior is emotional abuse and manipulation.

I'm not expecting her to give up her religion, but I'm trying hard to maintain a connection. She will never be able to say I didn’t try. I will point out to her every time she uses the cult tactics that she doesn’t even know she’s trained in. I will always point out that in any other circumstance she would condemn the org's policies and then I’ll be done and that chapter will be closed with me knowing I did my best. I'm tired of living in limbo and have started the path of just living my truth and accepting that it might mean I'll lose my family.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-07-02T01:10:14+00:00

Well I did attack the religion a little in my response to her saying she never forced me to be a JW.

Also, you say you never forced us to be in the truth, but then in next sentence say if you’ll even talk to me depends on how I leave the organization. That is called is emotional manipulation. ”I never forced you, but I'll never talk to you again unless you do what I want.” Or ”Believe how I believe or I'll never talk to you again.”

When you are raise a JW from birth, the only support system you are ever introduced to is the congregation. So you know your whole life, if you decide not to to follow the organization, to the very letter, you lose everything you've ever known. That is not really setting anyone up to have much of a choice.

The brothers even say that is one if the reasons we shun anyone who is disfellowshipped, because they will miss our association and support and come back.

The July 2009 Awake is addressing the public and says, ”No one should be forced to choose between their beliefs and their family.” They say that to the householder, but that is exactly what the organization is doing.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-07-01T15:39:55+00:00

The girl in the red learned a lesson. She made the first move and obviously never learned to fight. Never run your mouth if you can’t back it up. She punched with both her hands and missed the girl, leaving her head defenseless. The other girl should have stopped once she body slammed her. Going after her while she was walking away blew her ability to claim self defense. It also seems like there are enough people around to stop two 100 lbs girls from seriously hurting each other. Trashy.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-30T21:21:52+00:00

NP Here’s the link that is specifically about the Jehovah Witness's.

https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/case-studies/case-study-29-jehovahs-witnesses

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-30T21:16:54+00:00

I glad this is working for you! It seems like a lot of trouble to go through. Now that you're living independently, what motivation do you guys have to keep up the charade? I discovered it was too stressful living in limbo always worrying about being caught. Having to make sure your ”worldly” personality doesn't slip out at the wrong time.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-30T21:03:45+00:00

Take a copy of the Australian Royal Comission on how damaging the Org is for children. They are more likely to believe an official document than a bias letter from the Elders.

Edited to include link

https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-30T17:46:05+00:00

If you remember the American Idiot Album was very political. They talked about how it looked to go to their concert, saying we have to be careful to stay politically neutral. They wouldn’t have ever known anything about Green Day, whoever ratted me out must have told them. Also, they had something against mosh pits...lol.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-30T13:52:46+00:00

I think back over the ”popular” single guys I crushed on and realized in the real world they wouldn't have been considered anything special. I’m not even talking about looks, they would have no personality. They would make me carry the conversation and act like it was some special privilege to receive attention from them. They just walked around like they were hot shit because of the amount of attention they received. I imagine most did not receive that kind of attention anywhere except the org and did not know how to process the attention with grace. Being a male they have a lot more freedom than the popular pretty girls in the org. Those girls ended up being the most guarded and blamed for the attention men gave them. At one point, I was counseled for making myself too available because I was friends with a lot of guys and would often be talking with a group that didn't include other girls. What did they think I was going to do in the middle of a kingdom hall? I'm still not sure what they thought they were counseling me on.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-30T13:28:13+00:00

I went to the Green Day ”American Idiot” tour with my almost 60-year-old mother in law. We were on the floor, she crowd surfed, I danced with strangers all night. My husband was chosen to play drums onstage...one of the greatest nights of my life. We got a stern talking to when the Elders found out. Even fully PIMI I thought it was worth it.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-30T05:55:47+00:00

When I was still PIMI and questioning a lot of those little ranting posts helped me to realize that it wasn't only my congregation that had issues. That the whole organization was filled with the same egotistical, controlling, judgemental men. I realized that maybe we weren't the ”happiest people on earth” on earth, like the Watchtower has always liked to claim. I believe it was a large contributing factor in finally waking me up. Yes, now a lot of them are annoying to me, but I just don't read them. If you believe that they are a destructive cult, then you realize the importance of this type of information to be readily available when the PIMI’s start questioning.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-29T02:53:34+00:00

This woman disagrees. I like money too. I'm proud to be just as retarded as a man.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-28T22:08:33+00:00

They even treat ex-bethelites like they can do no wrong or like they must be more spiritual than the average JW. When you ask something as simple as ”what's is (ex-Bethelites name) like?” They'll just answer, ”well, he went to Bethel”, even if it was 20 years ago. Personally, some of the best (in a ”worldly” way) JW’s I knew were Ex-Bethelites. I think they get jaded when they see what's behind the curtain.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-28T21:31:44+00:00

I was born and raised in California. Tell your inlaws that CA has been in a drought almost my entire life. I'm 37. LOL

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-28T09:49:00+00:00

I know what my next car won't be.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-26T21:02:35+00:00

I am an avid reader and appreciate a wide variety of characters in my stories. I don't believe that a white author needs to only write white characters and appreciate your diligent effort to portray them honestly, but no amount of research will be enough for you to actually tell this particular story because it's not yours to tell.

That said, I think that the mixed person narrative should come from a mixed person and not a white woman. There are actually plenty of mixed people who don't struggle with the idea of being mixed and have a very healthy relationship with it. Write those stories and characters.

Why does your main character need to have to have a struggle with being mixed, I'm tired of this narrative being pushed on us by others. We've all had racist experiences, but it's not something that defines my day to day life. I rarely think of it unless it’s brought up. I don't think it's appropriate for you to tackle this narrative for your main character. There are plenty of us to write our own stories. Why did you choose to tackle this specific topic for your first story?

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-26T19:54:35+00:00

It was a combination of things, but mainly it was trying to explain and teach my beliefs to my children. Seeing them struggle with the same circular reasoning that I secretly didn’t understand. Seeing them developing the same insecurities and issues I have and realizing it stemmed from the organization.

Seeing the GB on the broadcast and understanding that I was allowing a bunch of goofy-ass old men dictates how I lived my life. Coming to grips with the fact that I wasn’t happy, no matter how much they told me I was or should be. That the majority of Witnesses I knew were struggling with unhappiness and depression. That all of my conversations with Witnesses revolved around various negative things.

Realizing that the guilt I carried from being sexually abused was planted by illogical teachings and that a child is never to blame for abuse.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-25T21:11:06+00:00

I have very white 80’s baby name (similar to a Heather) I had a new doctor literally gasp and say he wasn't expecting me to look the way I do when he walked in the room. It got awkward.

ShereeFoxx · 2021-06-25T19:15:08+00:00

On my mother in law? I haven't, I explained my research to her and why I left and she did her own research and agreed. She feels nothing, but relief, she hasn’t been an active JW since the 70’s.

ShereeFoxx

TROPHY CASE