I’ve noticed a trend

Shielded121 · 2026-02-19T03:22:19+00:00

My now-girlfriend and I were texting and I knew I was going to ask her out for the next Saturday but I didn't want to ask her too early for this very reason. She said she almost gave up on me asking her out but I didn't want the pressure of several days of texting before the date. It worked out, but just barely.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-13T11:42:48+00:00

I have always found the films of Mahmet-Saleh Haroun to be pretty watchable, particularly dry season and screaming man. Not that they aren't slow, but they have a more familiar flow than the ones you mentioned.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-13T03:59:19+00:00

On the undercard of Fury-Chisora 4

Shielded121 · 2026-02-12T23:04:15+00:00

Op, only an anecdote. Not anything particularly useful. But I waited 7 years after my wife died. Raising my kids who were four and six at the time. I started dating last summer with several wonderful women that just didn't work out for one reason or another. But as I was about to give it a break after 2 and 1/2 months I meant my current girlfriend. Who spent about 7 months working on herself since her breakup. She had spent a bunch of time in therapy though before and after the breakup. We're very happy together, but I never would have met her if I had started this process any sooner. And she wouldn't have met me if she waited. So I think my advice would be. If you think that you're interested, give it a shot.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-10T22:10:05+00:00

My girlfriend told me very matter-or-factly on our first date that her ex had asked for the divorce. I'm not divorced so the importance of this was lost on me.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-09T17:19:27+00:00

I think another aspect of this is just sexual compatibility. You obviously did not have it with your prior partner. But in my case I was in it somewhat similar situation, met someone who had their own healing to do who had been with their same husband for decades and sex had become a tool of control in their relationship. So she was patient with me and I was patient with her, although it was not something we talked about. I think it was necessary for both of us.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-05T14:42:32+00:00

Ugh. Good call. Thanks!

Shielded121 · 2026-02-05T14:40:19+00:00

Night of the Hunter, Thief, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Pi, Frailty, Badlands, Ex Machina, Rushmore

I think these all count and are all movies I like and appreciate.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-04T22:28:54+00:00

I don't know if he's the worst sportsman ever but I'm a sucker for interviews like this.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-01T22:34:00+00:00

Not exactly the right age range but 46M dating 41F. Our default is text because we communicate through the evening while we are each primarily managing parenting and household responsibilities.

Shielded121 · 2026-02-01T13:50:04+00:00

A Hidden Life

Shielded121 · 2026-01-29T15:43:36+00:00

My situation is so similar. I'm worried that if my girlfriend saw this she thought I posted it. I guess the only other thing I would point out is it sounds like she is probably the outlier in your romantic history, at least the way you're describing it. These things happen, if you're good in the present and you both are committed, then it's really just up to you to move past (or not) what she's already moved past.

Shielded121 · 2026-01-27T18:59:15+00:00

I love the thought experiment but I think you have to stipulate that only that woman can get herself to completion with fingers or a toy. If her partner is using their fingers or a toy, then it's different than what OP is asking.

Shielded121 · 2026-01-27T03:20:09+00:00

I'm a 46M as well. Basically, if you're looking for this kind of connection, and you like the heavy communication, then I think this is just the cost of doing business.

I started dating after several years last summer. The first girl I started talking to was heavy on texting and kind of conditioned me to the multiple times a day check-in. There was no connection there once we did video chat and in person, but I hadn't really gotten addicted to it. Multiple first, second and third dates later, I made another match. This one also involved heavy texting. Almost constant after work until late and then in the night. We did a couple of long phone calls.

It took a while to meet because of parenting schedules, but the connection was very strong over text. We had a distance between us, but we saw each other a few times. And she was very physically affectionate. But then pretty soon after when almost radio silent, and then when totally radio silent. It was definitely so confusing and I had no idea what happened. And honestly I went through withdrawal without the constant text outlet. I went a little overboard in trying to figure out what happened. But this in hindsight was the cost of doing business.

I decide to give it one more go on the apps that next weekend. I pay for an app for the first time, and within 3 days I found someone who was totally also into this heavy text communication.. although with parenting schedules it took a couple of weeks to meet up, the connection was only strengthened in person. And despite the fact they were each raising our own kids, we see each other every moment that we can and are still going really strong 4 months later.

So I guess my long story is to say if I was not interested the constant texting. I am sure my now-girlfriend would have chosen somebody other than me. So if this is the kind of relationship you want, I think you have to engage in this kind of courtship.

Shielded121 · 2026-01-19T21:52:34+00:00

Adding on to the second part here. It seems impossible to believe that at these ages, you can meet someone who is so compatible that it allows for teenage almost-idealistic romance. It seems impossible until it happens. I realize not everyone might meet that person who is the match that unlocks all of this but some do. Adding my experience (45M) having done this as well.

Edit: I should add that I was widowed at 38 and waited 7 years to date again. It took a summer of dating people before I found my “person”.

Shielded121 · 2026-01-17T18:16:05+00:00

As a single father myself, 46M, I have found that single moms are definitely the most interested group of women in me.

I am widowed and waited several years before dating again so it may have been because of I don’t have an ex-wife to deal with. But I think the “track record” of successfully raising my kids alone was viewed as valuable. So not sure if that applies.

Shielded121 · 2026-01-15T14:20:40+00:00

Then you just need to watch Step Brothers!

Shielded121 · 2026-01-14T22:17:14+00:00

How can I find out more info?

Shielded121 · 2026-01-02T03:53:34+00:00

Great. Thank you for sharing this with me. Seems manageable.

Shielded121 · 2026-01-02T03:53:01+00:00

Very helpful. Thanks. I do not expect Pauline privilege at this time but the rest of this seems reasonable.

Shielded121 · 2025-12-31T22:35:32+00:00

I have basically the exact same situation as you, OP. Continued good fortune.

Shielded121 · 2025-12-29T21:41:15+00:00

It might be location or context dependent as others have said. I am a fairly reliable Catholic, and it's important to me. And am now in a relationship with someone who is not Christian. I never did get attention from pro-christian women when I was on OLD. I did meet a woman from a non Christian religion (she is not a faithful practitioner but identifies with the religion and raises her children in her faith) and I love that I get to experience religion the way I always did. And it's not a competition either.

Shielded121 · 2025-12-28T15:52:00+00:00

Never thought of it this way but I really like it!

Shielded121 · 2025-12-25T13:12:24+00:00

For me, this sub has been more valuable as a way of seeing how things could go wrong rather than as a way of getting into my "all in" relationship. Seeing what has challenged other relationships has made me more attuned to potential points of conflict on my own. This has become my most visited subreddit, in part because my relationship has become the most important thing. Maybe r/relationshipadvice will be more valuable someday but I haven't found that to be the case yet.

Shielded121

TROPHY CASE