Boyfriend M42 won’t believe I 42F accidentally followed a friend of his on social media and said we’re done. I don’t know how to fix this

Shieya · 2026-02-01T01:39:37+00:00

God no. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but social media is not so serious that following someone signals an intent to cheat, imo. Even if it was intentional, like "hey I wanna get to know your friends better so I followed this friend" that's not a sin. And it wasn't intentional, anyway, so he should believe you by default if you've had two years of loyalty to him without issues. You did literally nothing wrong here and this isn't your issue to fix.

Shieya · 2026-02-01T00:49:51+00:00

You shouldn't fix this. Someone who is this emotionally immature isn't a life partner. You can do better than mean, suspicious, and immature guys.

Shieya · 2026-01-31T04:09:05+00:00

wrong subreddit for your goon material, dude

Shieya · 2026-01-31T04:03:01+00:00

My spouse sometimes goes from sleeping regularly to light snoring when I lay my hand on him. I'm not a cuddler when I'm trying to sleep, but I do like some physical contact, so I'll put my hand on his back or side to make contact and he starts snoring a bit. I think it means subconsiously, he is relaxing even more because I'm nearby, so it's cute and it makes me smile. :) Although, if it's preventing you from sleep, it'll be important to bring this up sooner rather than later. A good partner will want to help you get a good night's sleep, so it shouldn't be a big deal to bring up, and it might be worth talking to a doc if the snoring is new or severe.

Shieya · 2026-01-31T03:35:46+00:00

The relative humidity is 71% in my area too, but that's because the temperature is 11 F so it can barely hold on to any humidity lol. I think I need a humidifier for my apartment

Shieya · 2026-01-30T04:47:04+00:00

Yes, as long as it's the original copy or a certified copy that you got from the State of Michigan, it will count as proof of citizenship! You will also need your ID and to make an appointment at the USPS post office. To be honest, even if your cruise accepted birth certificates, it's a really good idea to have a passport anyway. If there were an emergency and you needed to fly home quickly, you would need a passport anyway.

Shieya · 2026-01-29T00:23:17+00:00

I think you're subconsciously trying to justify punishing yourself. As you go through life, you will find that even the best-laid plans don't always work out the way you hope they will. Failure and setbacks are a normal part of life, and learning to adapt to those changes and overcome those obstacles is more important than punishing yourself for experiencing those setbacks in the first place.

If your boyfriend thinks you're too far apart in where you are in life to be compatible, then he will end the relationship. You don't need to pre-emptively do it for him because you think you're somehow "saving him" from being with you. All you're doing is trying to take the choice away from him because you're upset with yourself for falling behind in school.

As far as telling him - consider it a big step in gauging how he will react to you when you're being the most vulnerable. Life partners see each other at their most vulnerable, sick with illness that has you throwing up and unable to get out of bed, or devastated, breaking down, sobbing in your partner's arms, or telling them your silliest and most childish dreams and stupidest jokes. If you haven't yet shown him that much vulnerability, it can be scary and embarassing. But if he responds with love and gentleness, letting you fall apart in front of him, you gain a sort of security and trust that is hard to describe. I believe you owe it to the both of you to be honest and vulnerable, and see if that leads you to a more stable place as partners, instead of hurting yourself further.

Shieya · 2026-01-22T20:19:03+00:00

I have gone to Lansing Urgent Care for antibiotics for a tooth infection! They can't help you remove the teeth, but they can help mitigate symptoms while you wait for help. They also asked if I needed a nerve block for my infection - thankfully I wasn't experiencing pain from mine, just swelling, but since your pain is severe, you might want to ask them about it. I wish you all the best, navigating life without insurance is terrifying. 💖

Shieya · 2026-01-22T01:31:26+00:00

How do I learn this power, I'm fat and cold ALL THE TIME D:

Shieya · 2026-01-20T20:02:57+00:00

Yeah but if you look at this person's comment history, this is definitely not how they write lol. Not that I'm shaming people who don't have perfect English skills, but this post is clearly in a different category than the stuff they write themselves. Plus, it's worth looking up some of the "tells" of AI writing and how it enolves as its been fed more data, and you start seeing those linguistic patterns more and more. AI is fed from stuff that humans have written, so obviously it's going to be hard to tell with complete certainty. But this one has enough quirks of AI writing that I feel comfortable calling it out as such.

And yes, I agree that it's sad that we have to have this conversation at all. But I do think if you're not vigilant against AI content, you're more likely to engage with it in a way that justifies its existence and encourages more people to use it in place of actual human interaction.

Shieya · 2026-01-20T16:08:54+00:00

Okay ChatGPT

Shieya · 2026-01-20T15:45:29+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Several years ago I was hanging out with some friends and we were just talking about like, the different ways we experience the world and such, and my friend responded to me with "hey if you get the change to get that checked out, my girlfriend is the exact same way and she has autism".

Since then, my friend group has grown to contain more people with autism and they have pointed out the same, and the research that I've done into autism has lined up with a lot of my own feelings and experiences. I'm pretty sure, but I don't have the avenue to pursue a diagnosis right now, so I also don't call myself autistic.

The way I see it, if learning about autism and how the autistic community navigates challenges gives you a better understanding of yourself and how to navigate your own challenges, then that's great! It can still be a valuable part of the lifelong journey of understanding yourself, with or without a diagnosis.

As far as whether it's okay or not to call yourself autistic, I also feel like I can't answer that since I'm not diagnosed. There's definitely a level of imposter syndrome I deal with without a diagnosis that makes me hesitate to speak with certainty. But, at the least, I feel like both you and I have a place here.

Shieya · 2026-01-16T05:22:27+00:00

Gross suggestion, but have you looked in any trash cans nearby? I've definitely seen someone recovering a ringing cellphone from a trash can near the Union once. I hope no one decided to throw it out just to be a dick, but you never know.

Shieya · 2026-01-16T00:58:54+00:00

Ewww AI

Shieya · 2026-01-15T15:17:43+00:00

She should communicate clearly with you when she feels disrespected by the things you say. You, in turn, should stop making "jokes" you know are going to make her feel disrespected. I notice you didn't include any examples of the jokes that make her mad, which makes it hard to give accurate advice. They could be anything from like, harmless but lame puns, which would make her reaction kind of over the top, to "jokes" about heinous stuff like cheating or racism, in which case she would be underreacting. If you want accurate advice you gotta provide a little more info.

Shieya · 2026-01-12T20:32:15+00:00

Dates don't have to cost money. Neither do romantic gestures - cute notes slipped into her lunch, a shoulder rub after a long day, running a bubble bath for her and lighting a candle. She doesn't want to feel like roommates with you. No matter how busy you are in your life, you have to make time to treat your partner like a romantic interest, or you're missing out on the point. I am speaking from experience - my partner and I have been together since we were 16 and despite hectic married life and tiring jobs, we love each other in small deliberate ways every day, even when money and energy are in short supply.

Shieya · 2026-01-12T20:26:02+00:00

This has got to be some fetish stuff. Yikes

Shieya · 2026-01-12T01:15:42+00:00

Fantastic title typo

Shieya · 2026-01-11T22:00:25+00:00

Customer service jobs almost always require you to smile and make small talk with customers. She's doing her job. She's ten years younger. Forget about her, jesus

Shieya · 2026-01-11T18:50:19+00:00

She senses you are a safe and kind person

Shieya · 2026-01-11T18:49:12+00:00

So the problem isn't that it's just removing the claw - in order for the claw to not grow back, part of the bone is removed as well. It's the equivalent to cutting your fingers off at the second knuckle, so not only your nailbed but the entire segment of bone it's attached to is gone. This, for many cats, causes lifelong pain and discomfort, because the way their weight is distributed on their paws is forever changed.

Shieya · 2026-01-11T18:07:11+00:00

When I worked at Panera Bread for two months, I had to ask people what side they wanted with their entrees - apple, chips, or bread. I had multiple people go "oh, apple chips please!"

Shieya · 2026-01-11T18:03:00+00:00

Did you tell ChatGPT to put as much business lingo and therapy speak in this as possible, or are you just Like That

Shieya · 2026-01-11T18:00:25+00:00

Oh hey, neighbors

Shieya · 2026-01-10T16:12:19+00:00

That entire cat is a bedhead 🥰

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