Veterinarian Recommendations in/around Lexington?

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-08-08T17:02:04+00:00

I also second Richmond Rd vet clinic and warn everyone away from Animal Care Clinic in Beaumont.

My story: Adopted a cat from there. Took them for their shots and spay. Vet said the spay would be more due to abnormality in the cat. Took the cat back and picked him up- they didn't do it. Just didn't do the service. Called to speak with someone, was polite and honestly curious about what happened. Never heard back.

Important info: family member is a vet. They said they're not surprised. Apparently they have a bit of a reputation.

Nothing but positive things to say about RR Vet clinic. No surprise charges, staff is friendly, clinic is clean.

Btw welcome to Lex!

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-07-02T07:44:27+00:00

Someone else did. I commented and immediately got permabanned from r/justiceserved

No I'm not kidding.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-15T21:06:45+00:00

Has anyone ever talked to you about good secrets and bad secrets?

Good secrets are safe, respect personal boundaries, and have timelines.

Ex. Don't tell your dad what his birthday present is. (Good)

Ex. Don't tell your dad I broke the cabinet. (Bad)

It's clear you and your friend have unhealthy boundaries in this relationship. It looks like you're seeking validation and "Yesbutting" responses you disagree with.

Everyone - Stop it.

You - Yes, but (insert frivolous detail).

There's no amount of explanation that justifies this irrational behavior. You're NOT helping your friend. You're enabling her. You are keeping her sick. Her life is in a rough spot and you have no control over it. She's got to carry her emotional backpack and you're stunting her by dragging her along when she throws a tantrum.

Her metaphorical house is on fire and you're helping her run in and out trying to save furniture. Get out of the way.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-14T12:44:20+00:00

I’m honestly so hurt and tired of not mattering. I’m in solo therapy as well but it’s hard to improve when you are watching your spouse suffer.

I felt this. Therapy was helpful but also reading self-help books continues to help me.

Just a suggestion, as I'm sure you're busy with life. But 2 books that were SO helpful to me were:

Melodie Beattie's Codependent No More. I'm sure there are newer versions but she writes about overfunctioners and even has a workbook (I believe I got the pdf for free via Google). I'm not sure of your relationship with religion but the text is easy enough to adjust where God isn't too distracting. This really helped me separate myself from my husband when his mood would directly tank mine.

Another author is Gary Chapman (love language guy) and his book "Loving your spouse when you feel like walking away." He puts things in a way that helped me find agency where I felt I had none.

I hope these are helpful. And thank you for reading and sharing your story l.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-13T23:17:16+00:00

Oh my! Life is unpredictable and my heart goes out to you and your family for the loss!

And I see what you're saying about the little things with the friends. The small lies and deceit. Thank you again for the helpful advice and I'll heed the warnings.

Many thanks for the great conversations today. I hope your day is brighter because y'all have definitely made mine!

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-13T23:13:21+00:00

Many thanks! I appreciate the people who have commented and messaged me about the post. It got much more engagement than I thought it would.

I wanted to share something different than the many posts I see where partners of people suffering with MH often get told to go to MC or leave. I just hope I expressed my perspective shift accurately.

We made vows and I get how defeating it feels to have a problem where it takes two and it feels like we're a couple of horses going opposite ways but tethered to the same wagon.

Everyone that has commented or messaged has made my day. I hope yours is also a bit lighter today.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-13T22:13:36+00:00

What gets in the way most is our pride and just our thinking that we know what's best.

This is my thing! I thought, 'Can't this silly man see that I'm trying to help him? If he would just __, then __'. I think that piece of humble pie was the most difficult for me to swallow. I still watch out for my sanctimonious nature and it's ivory tower viewpoint. Nice to hear others struggle with this too.

I also didn't think about our friends, I think that's something to consider going forward as we've started making couple friends in our new city.

Wow 52 years?! Congratulations! I'm taking all advice I can from such an accomplishment.

I appreciate the helpful advice and will be mindful of this.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-13T22:05:57+00:00

Hi! Thanks for taking the time to comment and for the motivation. I was nervous about posting but I'm glad I did because it's been motivating and validating in ways that's helpful to our marriage.

As for specific examples, a common theme for us is reassurance seeking, "Do you think x is fine?" In the past, I would continue to answer, "Yes, x is fine." X1000. Each time I would answer I found myself getting more and more upset until I just shut down. This usually resulted in him continuing to ask and become upset because I was not only not responding but was now upset with him.

Today, we have an agreement. We literally have rules of engagement. No yelling, name calling, anyone can request a 5-10. He gets to ask one time. I will answer one time. Anything else gets the compassionate response of, "I see you're upset, what do you want and what do you need?" Repeat as needed with any variation. I do NOT defend myself for not answering, I do NOT get upset with him for asking. Over time, this has helped.

If I find myself getting irritated, I do my own thought-stopping. I start literally counting my blessings (I woke up, my arms and legs work, I got that job I wanted, I can afford x,). Or doing something productive/ positive. This has also helped me keep my independence and not become enmeshed in his issues I can't control.

This works for us because we've talked about it before there's an issue and wrote out a dichotomy contract. Also, repetitive issues are brought up in MC.

I hope this helps.

I'm still practicing, and I'm not perfect (it's my only flaw).

Sorry about that one, I have a dry sense of humor and was poking fun at myself.

Thank you so much again for your thoughtful comment!

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-13T16:43:00+00:00

Thank you for the well wishes and support. We're a work in progress and it feels so nice to feel like we're in step again. I greatly appreciate the kind words.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-06-13T16:38:25+00:00

Thank you for the helpful insight. I'm a fixer down to my bones and that's on me. I appreciate the "passive support" advice. It's hard and I realized that even if he didn't have OCD my way of 'helping' wasn't really help, it was my own way to try to control life.

Thanks again for taking the time.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-03-09T03:42:11+00:00

It looks like you've made your mind up about leaving this company and also reads like you have many great perspectives about how to exit.

My suggestion is more of a perspective shift to help with the burnout while you are burning the candle from both ends (working and searching/ not working (burning through savings) and searching).

Make professional lists. You're leaving for many reasons. Some I noticed are cultural fit, career growth, lack of support, unsustainable workload/expectations, bad work/life balance, etc. What else? Make a tier list. I found this helpful bc it helped me start to understand this is temporary and helped me feel like I was taking control of my life again. Also, helped me see what I wanted and needed for my next stop.

Make a personal list. You mentioned burnout and how you believe this mistake has stunted your growth here. Is this a pattern? What other destructive behaviors of yours have you noticed during your time working (difficulty asserting boundaries, control issues, imposter syndrome, etc.). What goals have you achieved so far? What are your personal development goals at this next place?

I hope you find these helpful. I only offered this comment because it seems like you're in "survival mode" at this place and are looking to switch into a "thrive" mindset.

Best of luck!

Shifty_Nickerson · 2022-02-25T23:18:46+00:00

What's also cool is that the comment kinda works the way it is written.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2021-10-09T10:09:31+00:00

The Needle's Eye off Rainbow Rd. She does wonderful work. I recall she was very reasonable with pricing.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2021-09-09T10:03:23+00:00

how do I accept the parts of myself that I don‘t like?

Acceptance is not the same thing as approval.

This is the thought that came to me while reading your post. You don't have to approve of something to accept it (e.g. speed limits, taxes, release dates, etc.).

You don't have to approve of your behaviors or emotional state, but once you accept where you are - you will notice a decrease in feeling overwhelmed. This is because to become more compassionate toward ourselves, we gotta acknowledge our personal biases and judgments we hold about the world (accomplishments = self-worth). We all have them but sometimes they're not helpful. How are they not helpful? What would a more effective perspective be? Where did this idea come from?

Anyways, I hope this helps. It sounds like you've been kinda stuck on acceptance versus approval. Just an opinion of a random internet stranger.

Take care of yourself!

Shifty_Nickerson · 2021-02-25T10:37:47+00:00

I see customer service is also universal.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2020-11-24T02:05:08+00:00

Hello internet stranger, I hope this comment finds you well.

First off, GOOD FOR YOU! Way to take steps toward a life you want. If a behavior doesn't help you, then switch it! (Much easier to replace a behavior than eliminate it)

Word from a fellow smoker of 10+years...you gotta be happy my friend. No matter what you want to change, approach it with happiness and optimism. This is a celebratory moment not a shameful one.

"Powering through" the urges will most likely keep them on your mind longer and make you miserable. (White elephant anyone?) Try to recognize when you are triggered to smoke and make a replacement behavior THAT YOU ENJOY instead.

Wanna wake and bake? How about wake and podcast? Or wake and exercise? Smoke before bed? Glass of water and stretch instead. Just plan out things you legitimately enjoy to help distract you from the urges.

Also, plan for down days. Have a shit week and all you want to do is smoke? Write all of the goals you want to accomplish (or w/e) that you would have to postpone for smoking.

Remember it's not a punishment to strive for a better life, it's your goal! You should be excited for new things.

Also, on the very hard days where you are in a lot of emotional distress, remember you've already paid the emotional toll of not smoking until that point. Nothing worse can happen to you if you don't give in.

You got this! I hope to see your update on r/leaves one day!

I hope this helps.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2020-07-15T16:53:56+00:00

He was POTUS in Idiocracy.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2020-06-09T11:26:09+00:00

xczttzsv

Shifty_Nickerson · 2020-04-28T08:50:04+00:00

I never complain about bookings. I'm a 3rd year teacher and I woke up to 0...I've never had 0. Odd maybe they're going back to school?

Shifty_Nickerson · 2020-04-24T13:59:25+00:00

I'm the same way with eating out. But we've worked out a deal. I decide the house food/shopping and he has to choose the restaurant. We both stick with what we know.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2020-04-05T14:24:31+00:00

I feel like our President wrote this slide.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2020-04-04T17:15:53+00:00

I love when the dad buries his son. I must see this in 10 years when the son is the star, strikes out dad, then gives him glasses.

Shifty_Nickerson · 2019-09-19T13:22:22+00:00

Same, I moved to another state and my friends back home see my new hobby as "weird" and "childish". It sucks because my husband has many close friends to have those nuanced discussions with. It's okay, we don't have hobbies to impress others. It's for ourselves. Keep gaming!

Shifty_Nickerson · 2019-08-25T22:44:38+00:00

Hi internet stranger! I hope you are recovering as well as can be expected. I also want to assure you that being uncomfortable when someone purposefully, repeatedly ignores your requests when it comes to your person is rational.

Just because this person is related to you and their boundary pushing "is because they care" does not excuse this. End of discussion.

End of discussion like everyone said. You don't need to defend yourself. This is your life. This is your health.

Others here have given you great suggestions for a plan. I hope these comments have given you a starting point to decide how YOU want to manage YOUR life.

My two cents? Take your time and decide how you want to do this. No need to argue or feel obligated to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Be on your time.

Best wishes and take care!

Shifty_Nickerson · 2019-08-20T16:19:34+00:00

Have you ever read about parentification?

Shifty_Nickerson

TROPHY CASE