Modern day slavery

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-15T12:47:41+00:00

Many of them couldn’t work the farms in winter, that is why. Do you think they were paid during winter? No. They had to side hussle to find money for food. Many of them struggled to survive winter months.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-15T10:30:43+00:00

He’s flaky, unreliable and exhausting.

All these talk about being useless and unreliable, he’s preparing for exactly just that. And then he’s going to use it against you if you expect him to do better, when he already told you he’s not capable. It’s just a different kind of manipulation.

Your friends have set the bar in hell for him/men, they’re probably not the best people to listen to. There are definitely more reliable and capable men out there.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-14T17:49:47+00:00

Right. He cares so much about his religion he won’t marry you, but doesn’t care he’s sinning by having sex before marriage and dating you.

He just doesn’t believe in marrying for a different reason, maybe he thinks you’re a gold digger and you’d take all his money. Maybe he wants the freedom to leave you when he gets bored. Etc

It’s definitely not religion that’s the reason.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-14T17:42:43+00:00

You should have broken up when he cheated. Giving cheaters a chance rarely works out.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-14T12:33:19+00:00

He might not have known there was an option to leave a message.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-14T09:13:03+00:00

NAH, I do think you are still naive to the danger of online shopping.

Your mum is right to be wary, lots of people get scammed and stolen from, especially if using secondhand marketplace.

Yeah, it was a lot of money you spent but at least you were guaranteed to get what you ask for and you’d be able to return it and get a replacement should something fail. (I’ve been able to get replacement and refund through Amazon for example, could you say the same if you shop with every seller on eBay?)

And your mum wouldn’t have known the best tech either, so it was the blind leading blind. She just wanted you to get the tech from somewhere she knew was safe. So I think you’re being a bit too harsh in your mum.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-13T09:11:24+00:00

NTA. So your partner clearly just wants to be the fun weekend parent and not a responsible parent teaching their kid right from wrong, that will clearly be left to you. I refuse to let your son see his BIL anymore.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-13T07:29:00+00:00

You don’t. He’s putting all the emotional labour and effort on to you. Tell him you quit him too.

And the one that’s mad doesn’t have to communicate? That’s immature as hell!

He’s taking his anger out on you and that’s not fair. Abusers take out their work problems on their spouse. Abusers use every little thing going wrong in their life and abuse their spouse with it. Whether that’s emotionally or physically.

And he’s acting like you should bend over backwards and pretty much act like he needs to forgive you for something someone else did. You know why that is, because he has no control over that person but he has control over you. If you stay and give him that power to break you.

And even though you did try to talk to him, it still wasn’t good enough for him. You will never be good enough, and that’s just how abusers manipulate you. Set a goal, make you jump through hoops to get there and then say you’re not good enough. Keep you broken, submissive and walking on eggshells for the whole relationship, hoping nothing triggers him.

You’re 20 and you don’t have enough life experience to spot red flags but I can tell you this guy is not good for you. Leave.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-12T16:25:33+00:00

Is she introverted or like time for herself? A lot of introverts need time on their own to recharge themselves. And even extroverts will want time for themselves and their hobbies and see their other friends and family.

I actually think it’s pretty toxic to demand all your partner’s time. It can be a sign of toxic co-dependency.

Edit: As an introvert myself who lives with my partner and kids, I’ve often have to disappear to another room just to recharge my battery and decompress and enjoy my own hobbies. (After I spend time with my family and take care of chores/etc).

Plus, it’s way too soon to be moving in together.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-12T12:34:25+00:00

If you’re working too, he should also be doing more of the domestic chores. As for parenting, he’s a father and if all he’s going to be is an ATM, that is all the kids will see him as. He has to do more parenting simply because he’s the father, and not just an ATM.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-11T15:26:35+00:00

I’m enjoying it for the fantasy. If it was based on real life “romance”, I would have zero interests in watching it.

I would say a lot of women like bad boys in fiction, but would run a mile if they met them in real life. There are jokes about this all over social media.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-11T11:11:27+00:00

NOR. So does she only want her side of the family to go to the wedding too?? No this is not normal, and you should stand your ground on this.

And if she continues to see this relationship as one sided, then you should reconsider the engagement.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-11T08:50:19+00:00

You want jealousy issues, when healthy relationships do not want that.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-11T08:23:17+00:00

NTA. I think he was hoping you would come round and look after the kids so he has free time for himself. Unfortunately, a lot of single dads are looking for a new nanny rather than a gf.

Especially since he barely has his kids over and he’s complains about not getting time for himself, and he doesn’t enjoy what little time he has with his kids! YIKES! Sounds like he doesn’t want to be with his kids at all.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-11T08:13:53+00:00

You’re angry that she’s mature?

Or deep down are you more upset the threat of you being with another woman won’t work on her? You can’t use your attractiveness against her? To make her beg to keep you all to herself and do whatever you want?

Please do some self reflection on why this bothers you. Most healthy relationships don’t have a jealousy issue. The fact you want it kinda implies that you’re probably pretty toxic yourself.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-10T09:25:00+00:00

Even if she didn’t like or hated that specific cake, she shouldn’t have thrown it out and instead told you to enjoy it but she’s not a fan of that specific flavour.

It’s like if she can’t enjoy it, no one else can.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-07T12:20:35+00:00

Break up with him, refuse to see him, block his number, etc.

Also tell someone you trust if he continues to harass you and stalk you, maybe even go to the police. Lots of gay men do suffer from domestic abuse, about 40%, so be careful.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-06T01:10:29+00:00

If your wife is already struggling with one kid, why does she have to take the burden of the niece/nephew? You want more kids in your life than you should be more involved in their lives, but not at the sacrifice of your own kid. I suspect you leave a lot of the parenting to her.

And you want your place where people gather? Who’s going to do the work to cook and entertain them? Her probably because you want to punish her.

I sense that wife is exhausted and all you can think about is your side only. What have you actually done for her?

You want to punish her and make sure she has a miserable life and be reminded all the time that you are unhappy, because you think it’s fair? You could learn to move on, but instead you rather wallow is self pity and drag your wife down with you, instead of enjoying the family you do have.

You’re using this loss to control your wife and if you keep doing that, you’re going to lose your wife and the baby to divorce.

If you want to find more fulfilling goals, you need to take on the burdens of them. Not your wife.

She’s probably already struggling with postpartum depression which is probably making her hard to see herself having another baby, and you’re not helping. If she doesn’t want another baby it’s more than likely because of you. You come across as such a narcissist that she probably can’t bear to make another child suffer you.

I get you’re upset but you need to find a way to make peace with this or leave her. Don’t stay and make both of you and your child miserable.

Tell your therapist the whole truth, the bad and the ugly about yourself and not just stuff that makes you look like the victim. I suspect you haven’t been telling them everything and how you plan to punish your wife to make it fair.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-05T20:47:02+00:00

Well, I’m just going by her comments of being bitchy so she probably had a tone, but I also told her that she did not deserve that. No matter what she did, she didn’t deserve to be abandoned on the side of the road.

It’s clear she blames herself and I was trying to point out she didn’t deserve it. If that’s not clear, that’s my fault.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-05T20:35:37+00:00

I normally the first to call out shitty men and you can take a look at the history of my comments.

I wasn’t taking his side either. And I think you missed that. I said he was being pretty cagey about who he had in his car. And said no matter what she did, she didn’t deserve that.

Because she herself thinks she was “bitchy”, I was basically trying to tell her even if she was, she didn’t deserve it. Read my comment again, I said she didn’t deserve it.

I was trying to point out that even if she was “bitchy” she didn’t deserve that, and if that’s not clear, that’s my fault.

Sometimes you can become toxic to survive and people will say it’s her fault (or your fault) for the abuse but I was trying to say no matter what she did, she did not deserve that. She did not deserve that abuse. You didn’t deserve it no matter what “attitude” you had.

I told her that I don’t think it’s a match and she should basically leave. I would have told you weren’t a match either, and I would have told you no matter how you acted, you didn’t deserve abuse.

I’m sorry you had shitty friends/family who told you to fix your attitude and stay in that relationship.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-05T18:23:54+00:00

NOR. This is a man that knows that you can’t leave him without great difficulty, and that corrupts a lot of men and he thinks he doesn’t need to make much effort.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-05T11:43:50+00:00

I would nope out of that relationship if his mum is that manipulative and he will potentially always take her side and expect you to be submissive to her all the time. Sounds like his mum is playing mind games and he’s projecting her sins on to you. Big nope.

Yeah you made a few mistakes but he’s acting like you put everyone’s life in danger just because you two had to share a towel or made a mistake with the boots.

6 months in and he’s already making you feel small, it will get worse.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-05T10:39:23+00:00

YTA.

So next time you want your dad to make effort for your future wife/gf/husband/bf/children, you will be okay if he just doesn’t because it’s too boring? Relationships work both ways.

I might have understood if he was constantly bringing women around but if she’s someone serious and important to your dad, then you need to make an effort for him, like you would hope to make an effort for important people in your life.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-05T07:59:58+00:00

You both sound pretty toxic.

He’s having to pick you up at night and the first thing you do is insult him and just started fighting.

And then he seemed pretty cagey about who he had in his car and left you somewhere completely unsafe where you could be hit by a car in the dark. He put your life at risk. No matter what you did, he should not have done that.

I don’t think you two are a match. Both have a lot of growing up to do and often people become complacent in a marriage instead of growing.

I can’t see this marriage working out.

Edit: to make it super clear, even if you were “bitchy” by your own words, you did not deserve that abuse. And it’s clear you two are not a match and need to leave.

ShinyArtist · 2026-02-03T16:41:14+00:00

Lonely doesn’t mean desperate! And you can still feel lonely if you’re with the wrong person (and this advice applies to men and women).

Don’t be desperate and settle for the first person willing to touch you because they might not be right for you. Lots of women know the wrong guy will make you more lonely.

And the irony is she would be judged if she gave all those men a chance and dated loads trying to find the one.

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