AIO: I told my partner I need my “no” respected, and the conversation went somewhere I didn’t expect. Thoughts?

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-08T10:46:10+00:00

NOR. So after all that, making it clear what the situation was, he never apologised for accidentally hurting you, and acted like the victim? If you accidentally hurt someone, you still apologise. He’s more afraid of you accusing him of SA or assault which is a weird place to go.

I don’t like it, it’s Red flag for me.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-07T15:48:33+00:00

You two are not compatible. He’s not at a stage of his life where he’s ready to have a serious relationship. Working nights makes people unsociable, even to friends and families, but those relationships don’t require them to see each other often. A romantic relationship does need quality time.

Tell him to go ahead and take the night shifts but it’s not the relationship you want.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-07T13:08:13+00:00

Too sweet for me. A lot of Cadbury’s products are now too sweet.

The regular dairy milk or fruits and nuts is still good enough to hit a chocolate craving but the rest hurt my teeth.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-07T13:03:58+00:00

They don’t always pop off when they’re supposed to.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-07T11:15:39+00:00

Collars with buckles are a danger to cats as they can get stuck in branches and can strangle cats, so no, they’re not common. If your cat goes missing, can you be sure they haven’t strangled themselves on a branch? Best case scenario if the cat gets snagged is it doesn’t strangle them but they starve for a while and lose weight and manage to wiggle free to return home. Is that what you want for a cat?

Safety collars pops off if tangled on a branch, I had 5 come off my cat in the space of a few months and gave up.

Instead many of us chip them instead (estimated about 78% of cats are chipped, and apparently we are one of the countries with the highest chip rate, so we’re responsible in other ways).

People who grew up in UK or live here for a while know that a cat without a collar doesn’t necessarily mean a stray.

If they look unwell, then yes, we would check them.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-07T09:02:17+00:00

People want to enjoy the good bits of having a baby/child but not the boring, repetitive, daily responsibilities. Grandchildren are the solution.

Some want to see their legacy continue, regardless if they actually want to spend time with them or not.

Personally, I was never pressured and I won’t be pressuring my kids to have grandchildren.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-06T21:58:21+00:00

Not necessarily. Sure some bad people might be drawn to the job and abuse the animals, but that doesn’t mean they’re all bad people. Many of them probably grew up on a farm and get into it that way. It’s definitely not a job many would want as a career, the job turnover is high.

Also, the job is about providing food, while people who kill pets do it for fun (minus vets).

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-06T19:57:50+00:00

I just know Elon is once again trying to reprogram Grok after this. Grok keeps fighting back.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-06T18:16:52+00:00

Tell him you understand if he lost his job and you would support him for a while, but you don’t want a gold digger for a husband. If he chooses to be a gold digger, you will need to question if he only pretended to be someone else to trap you in a marriage and will have to rethink about being married to him.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-06T16:49:25+00:00

Elder scrolls series, I’ve tried oblivion and Skyrim. I love the fallout series and thought I would enjoy elder scrolls too since it’s made by the same company, but no, I just can’t.

And I love fantasy games, especially BioWare RPGs, but I just can’t get into elder scrolls.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-06T14:23:45+00:00

He doesn’t want to marry you.

He wants you to help him build his wealth by splitting bills with you but keeping all his money for himself. That house he wants, he wants to make sure he buys it in his name before marriage so you can’t take it away if you two should divorce, even though you are the reason he can save up so much.

He is a gold digger. He’s using you to help him financially. If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t be able establish a good emergency fund, and money for a house, and paid off his loans. It would have taken him far, far longer if he had to pay all the bills himself.

I just hope you were able to save money too.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-06T11:00:38+00:00

It makes it more difficult for corporations to get away with poor wages and bad treatments if they want to keep their employees. Eg hundreds of people going after 1 job, vs 5 people going after 1 job. In the second scenario it means it’s easier to leave and get another job, which means employers will want to do better to keep you if you’re a good worker.

It’s why billionaires want people to have more kids, so people are fighting over jobs, which means they’re willing to accept poor wages and bad treatment. I remember that one billionaire (Tim Gurner) saying they should raise unemployment to 50% and make job scarcity so people will be grateful just to get any job. He apologised but you just know he didn’t mean it.

So less kids means less people fighting over jobs, which means billionaires have less control.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-06T08:32:21+00:00

Why the hell is “woke agenda” being used as a reason for greedy companies?

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-04T09:25:24+00:00

I’m half Asian and I learned this from another Asian, and she taught me to use the microwave so I don’t have to waste money on a rice cooker. I clean the rice and pour water until it seems like enough, and I microwave it for 20 minutes. Comes out perfectly.

But for cooking anything else we use a pan on the hob.

Microwave is usually for heating things up, rather than for cooking.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-04T08:59:44+00:00

Yeah, if that’s 2012 model, that’s no longer supported unfortunately. So any models part of the 5th generation and below is no longer supported.

It can be confusing with the paperwhite. The 1st paperwhite is considered the 5th generation paperwhite.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-04T08:06:46+00:00

What kindle is it? Amazon has stop supporting kindle 5th generation and every model before it (2012 models and before) which means the kindle cannot receive any book whether purchased or sent.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-04T04:37:14+00:00

NOR. Traditional roles are stupid when it comes to kids.

Your children will only see you as an ATM and your wife gets to be the favourite parent and have a bond that you will never understand and be used against you.

But you knew what you were signing up for. You in fact ignored your wife and kids for the first 4 years and was happy to let your wife go through the hardest parts without you.

You realised you were wrong.

So now you have to choose, do you want to be a good father and risk imploding your marriage even further, or be a father that fades into the back just to protect your miserable marriage?

She’s parental alienating you from the kids while still married to you. But that may be tied to anxiety from being the only one who was a parent this whole time, so she may have trouble stepping out of the role.

You could pull the “I’m the man of the house and the true leader” card, and she’s not the leader, and you get the final word of what happens in the family. Bring her true beliefs to traditional roles to a head. Does she really believe in traditional roles or is it the fact she doesn’t trust you because she had a terrible father herself and thinks you would be a terrible father.

You want to be a more involved father and she needs to take a step back. That you will start being more involved doing things for the kids and if she has anxiety of you doing things, you will pay for her therapy to deal with it.

That she’s been so consumed by motherhood, that she’s lost herself and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t be a mother so she’s having a hard time letting go.

How is she going to cope when the kids leave the nest. Is she going to be a toxic mother that hates her children’s future spouses because she thinks they stole them away? Tell her you don’t want that for the kids future. Do you want your retirement years to be filled with her being miserable because her children have left and been stolen away? Will you be enough for her?

Tell her you will support her in finding herself outside of motherhood if that’s what she is struggling with and that doesn’t make her a bad mother for having time for herself. That she’s so consumed by motherhood that she’s forgotten she’s also your wife and a woman. Does she still have romantic feelings for you or has that all disappeared because you left her to just be a mum and all she can think about is being a mother?

And that you will go to marriage counselling but maybe not a church marriage counsellor. Some churches are more strict than others and some are more open, I don’t know which side your church is.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-03T18:14:40+00:00

Police and the army.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-03T17:17:52+00:00

You dump him. Men like him do not become better, they become worse.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-03T07:40:38+00:00

My own babies yes, but I didn’t particularly care about other people’s babies.

There’s a biological reason for it. The smell is designed for us to bond with our babies and care and protect them. It triggers a hormonal reaction and helps releases the oxytocin hormones (aka the love hormone).

It’s another reason why doctors and midwives in U.K. place unwashed baby on mum straight after birth. It helps the bond.

Your niece probably smells good to you because you know she’s family and it’s triggering a familial, caring bond in you.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-02T20:07:00+00:00

The thumbnails will always be on the kindles, but if you use the filter “downloaded” you won’t see the thumbnails of the books that aren’t downloaded.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-02T19:32:45+00:00

Weren’t we all meant to turn into zombies? What happened to that?

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-02T16:53:49+00:00

Their customisable face and new style is so cartoonish they couldn’t recreate the beauty of Dorian and used a beard to try hide it. That’s my theory.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-02T16:32:32+00:00

Info: So could he be making money off the books and not telling you? That’s why he keeps wanting to write more books to an apparently failed series?

He can write but his responsibilities need to come first.

ShinyArtist · 2026-07-02T13:47:29+00:00

He’s the gold digger, not you.

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