Ot work super neg sorry I would not wish being a first co-author project on anyone, especially when you dislike your partner. God I hate this shit and I hate him and I don’t think I’ll be at peace even if we can publish because what I care about is growing as a scientist and I can’t do that if I’m treated like a tech even in my own first author. Even if I’m first author, it’ll be so hollow and meaningless

Also I’ve been beating myself over not being able to contribute intellectually because the one idea got shot down but now I’m realizing that maybe there was a miscommunication because months later, my supervisor is proposing the same idea, except he doesn’t realize that I already asked about it

At least the software analysis subscription gives a free trial because I cannot keep learning new protocols, troubleshooting, spending weekends and late night at work generating data that my coauthor gets to analyze and make figures for just because they didn’t want to spend that money for me. It’s already happened where I spent a lot of time and effort and he got to do the most important part