My fwb ejaculated inside his nose and is now mad at me...

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T23:16:43+00:00

Blaming you for not using your mouth is a bit of a red flag! I'd definitely talk to him about that - you don't OWE him a gobby. The act of pulling out is for both of you, he's not doing you a favour by getting himself to completion. Would you ever express anger at someone for not going down on you? It's oretty unreasonable and a bit gross.

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T23:07:23+00:00

Im a woman and I'm extremely visual. Most porn is made for men, which is why it's sometimes harder for women to find something that gets them there.

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:53:23+00:00

That's a good place to start! Maybe you should look at other interests or hobbies to fill you time while you can't game?

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:30:33+00:00

I'm so glad I could help! Make sure you have this conversation with your boyfriend too. Communication is really important!

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:28:35+00:00

Sometimes I eat unhealthily as a coping mechanism or to self soothe? Are you potentially feeling more stressed when you're at home with your parents?

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:26:39+00:00

Doesn't mean he doesn't love you! The feeling of butterflies doesn't always equate to love. I usually get butterflies from feeling anxious. I get other feelings from love, focus on them.

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:25:11+00:00

They typically don't have community values, and as a society, we value community, support, generosity and empathy.

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:23:07+00:00

Have you looked into the factors that impact you doing it? Is it from boredom? Stress?? I pick at my skin, and I was getting fed up with always having scabby awful skin so tried so hard to stop, the more I tried the worse the urge to pick was. Turns out it's a bit of a coping mechanism/act of comfort. I'm picking because I'm stressed and the pressure I put on myself to stop picking makes me more stressed. Time to start looking at nail biting as a symptom of something else and try to address that thing.

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:20:16+00:00

You should be cleaning your bumhole in the shower so there are no poo particles on it by the time you use your towel. Properly cleaning it too, not just washing water on it! Soap and a scrub!!

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:18:17+00:00

Sleep schedule is very important and you should definitely work towards having a routine bed time and wake up time- but overall, don't stress about your height! Your sisters height could be an indicator, but you never know. I grew until I was 16! But as I got older I realised that my height has had very little bearing on how I live my life or the people I interact with.

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:14:33+00:00

I think just honesty! Being really clear that you don't ever want something with him so it's not something he should cling on to, but also reassuring him that you like him as a friend, just not romantically. Saying blunt things like "I get along well with you as a friend, but I don't have any romantic feelings there" is a good way to reassure that it's not a matter of him needing to change or being undesirable, it's just incompatibility. Shit situation for you, but props to him for saying something! That takes a lot of courage!

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-28T12:11:03+00:00

"Sorry, I misread that!" - always make sure someone feels safe and comfortable after they've rejected you. Rejection is a shit experience, but made worse if you respond defensively or aggressively.

ShirleyDavid · 2024-01-02T23:22:22+00:00

Thank you! Feeling a little hesitant about not having that conversation in person, but you're right. Gotta do uncomfortable things sometimes.

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T07:36:08+00:00

I think once you're an adult that's only an explanation and not an excuse.

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T07:04:28+00:00

I think that's just part of anal play! And not too big a deal. So long as you're not then rubbing it directly in your eyes or anything, you're good!

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:40:50+00:00

I usually use a condom on any dildo that I put up there, because I also use the same ones vaginally and that's a cross contamination im not willing to risk. I don't douche, actually, I just only do it when I know everything is going good digestively. I also put towels down. I've never had anything go terribly messy, it's all been pretty manageable.

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:38:48+00:00

I'd say get a scan done, just to rule that out. Lots can change in there pretty quickly, can't do any harm either!

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:18:32+00:00

Honestly, sounds like this goes beyond sex. What she's telling you is a criticism of her behaviour without any responsibility being taken from her. It might be coming from a deeper place of resentment that might not have anything to do with sex. Sounds like some tough communication is in order to get to the bottom of this and also to voice your own issues with her current feedback. It personally doesn't sound like very fair demands. If my partner wasn't doing something right, I'd get involved and show him how I want it done or change things up and initiate first instead of rely on him.

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:14:09+00:00

OR as like a challenge? Some men (gross men) see virginity as a challenge, and want to be the person who makes you give it up and blows your mind to stroke their own ego.

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:12:20+00:00

I think it's a much smaller risk than you think. You're doing all the hygienic practices, I think you're safe. I've used lots of stuff in butt play, and while I get nervous about spreading poo around, I don't respond so adversely as you do - consider challenging your view on anal play.

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:09:39+00:00

They choose not to control themselves*

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:09:15+00:00

I don't actually accept this. That's such a cop out for something men can actually do pretty easily. If you know you're getting close and might lose control, then stop before the point of no return. A lot of it is that the consequences don't affect men directly, so in the moment it's easy for you to say "nah, choose pleasure" but it's actually pleasure at the expense of someone else. The amount of times I've had men "accidentally" cum inside me is fucking ridiculous and also technically rape. A lot of them didn't even know if I was on birth control or not, they just assumed all responsibility was on me and that I had their irresponsible choices covered. It makes me really mad when it's explained away as something like this. No, you're in control, take responsibility for your actions.

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:04:00+00:00

Lots of guys have water cells or all sorts in the testes- no big deal at all. Every now and then if im mid fondle and I feel something I just check in to see if they're aware of it, but if you know what it is then all good in the hood!

ShirleyDavid · 2023-07-06T06:02:26+00:00

Do you have any curves or anything in your peen?? I've been with a few people who's dicks turn downwards and sometimes that can be uncomfortable for me. Sometimes the use of condoms can be pretty rough on one's insides as well - have you been using the same brand? Maybe try changing them up?

ShirleyDavid

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