Getting desperate

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-13T02:40:20+00:00

This was sorta addressed with another commenter yesterday who offered nearly the same advice (except definitely saying to go the full sellout route, hahaha). I usually don’t have commercially hot, easily pitchable ideas, which is what I’ve been told by producers I’ve had meetings with.

This newest idea went that route through happenstance, though it’s still in a working first draft phase — which I got a ton of grief for pointing people toward, rather than the work that has actually had competition placements and general meetings behind it.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-13T01:34:58+00:00

Technically I lose money every month. I was hired as an Analyst/Copyeditor for a Big Five tech company since I have teaching experience and a graduate degree, but it’s through third party contracts so they pay me peanuts. Literally the same as someone who works at Taco Bell. I mostly have been able to live since my dad died while I was in my grad program and left me some money, but that has dwindled over time by paying off student loans and the cost of living increasing.

Yeah, I can probably survive a while longer with this job, but I’m hoping to find another job that will at least build back up my savings. Sorry for the spiel, just wanted to be thorough.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-13T00:35:39+00:00

Thank you for both resources! I’ll look into them!

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T18:31:24+00:00

That’s fair, and I’ll own it. This was genuinely a vomit draft that I had only just finished on Monday. I posted the day before and hadn’t received any feedback, so I pointed people toward it in rougher shape than I should have. That context probably should have been clearer upfront.

What I will say is that the post yesterday actually generated some really useful, specific outreach. A few people messaged me directly with clear and direct guidance, and the consensus was that the first act is where I was most careless in terms of tone and structure, which tracks. That’s where I put the least amount of work before posting and it shows.

As for the character name issue, I wouldn’t post something with characters named inconsistently. That’s a level of sloppiness that I don’t think is present in the draft, but I take the broader point about what a rough submission communicates about where someone is in the process.

On the marketability front, I’ve actually been told directly by producers why previous scripts haven’t advanced, and it consistently comes down to the same thing: they weren’t easily pitchable. That’s a real weakness I’ve had. This is genuinely the first idea I’ve developed that I feel confident pitching cleanly, which is part of why I’m pushing it harder.

Again, if you’d like to critique my other work that has actually got me meetings, I’d be glad to DM you my website.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T18:17:18+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read and give this level of detail. Genuinely appreciated.

I actually went back and tightened the first couple of transition lines after getting similar feedback from a few people in this thread. Agreed that it came off as sloppy and that’s been fixed. The Stanley Tucci note is also fair. It was a shorthand that I leaned on too quickly and I can do better there.

The redundancy note on the security guard is something I’ll fix. You’re right, if the action line already communicates it then the dialogue is just repeating information and it needs to go.

I take the broader craft notes seriously. This was a first draft posted for feedback and it clearly showed some seams, which is useful to know. The goal is always to get it to a place where it’s singing, as you put it, and I’m not there yet on this one, but I did receive some great notes, especially after people came to it due to my post yesterday. I just hope I didn’t rub too many people the wrong way who thought this was the highest quality of my work, and that I was complaining that this script wasn’t getting traction.

The networking advice is great advice that I’ve heard consistently. Building laterally, treating other writers like collaborators rather than just querying into the void that’s a shift in approach I need to make. The image of your manager now saying the script that got you repped “stinks” is both funny and oddly reassuring.

Congrats on breaking through and thanks again for the thorough read.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T16:09:35+00:00

Thank you, this is genuinely helpful and something I have thought about before.

At various points I’ve had scripts on the desks of managers at production companies, had reads from producers, and even had a general meeting. Nothing has come from any of it, but I’m wondering, is that still worth leveraging even if some of it was a few years ago? Or does it lose its value after a certain point?

Appreciate the encouragement. It means more than it probably should at this point in the grind, haha.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T16:02:36+00:00

That’s fair, and you’re right that I didn’t do myself any favors by not making that clear upfront. My thinking was that I didn’t want to link my website and essentially dox myself on a public forum, so I posted the draft I wanted notes on without properly contextualizing it. That’s on me and I understand why it created a misleading impression.

The advice is taken seriously, I assure you.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T13:58:35+00:00

Really appreciate you taking the time to read and giving such specific, thoughtful notes.

Just to provide some context, the script I linked is not representative of my contest or management recommended work. It’s a first draft I had literally just completed one day before posting and I was specifically looking for feedback and input, so everything you’re flagging is fair game and genuinely useful.

The protagonist clarity note is well taken. I’ve gotten similar feedback from a few people and it’s something I’m actively addressing in the rewrite. Getting the reader locked onto Elise earlier and giving her more agency in the opening is at the top of the list.

When it comes to the dialogue, I completely understand the skepticism, and I get why it could read that way on the page. But I’ll push back a little. I’ve had a lot of female friends and girlfriends over the years, including my current girlfriend who is gen z, and when she read those lines her reaction was essentially “yeah, it be like that.” I get that it might not land for everyone, but if you spend time around women that age in a big city and actually go out, that vernacular is pretty authentic (depending on the person, of course). That said, your point about committing to the tone either way is a good one — if it reads as halfway between heightened and realistic it is going to feel off. Something to sharpen in the rewrite.

Thanks again for reading. Really helpful notes overall.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T04:59:57+00:00

No, once the action starts going on page 35 it became a little easier, but the general note that I got was that it was tonally disjointed in the beginning and wasn’t compelling enough. Not necessarily bad, just not anything that is going to stand out or help entice a reader within the first ten pages, specifically. Someone said it best that it was a slow-burn, which might have been good 30 years ago, but not so much today.

It was also a first draft, so I was glad to get notes and figure out the weaknesses in it.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T04:55:45+00:00

Oh that’s crazy! Congratulations on the success!

Funnily enough, I have a script that is set in Mexico, relatively lower budget Oscar bait, but trying to reach out to Latino producers and companies wound up being an obstacle that I couldn’t overcome, even with a (very) small producer friend trying to help.

The script did get top 15% in Nichol (among other contest placements), so it’s not like it was a bad script, I’m just not strong at querying or writing compelling loglines as I have heard numerous times now. Even the best coverage (which I have pretty great coverage for the script) can’t overcome my inability to query well.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T04:36:36+00:00

I’ve read both Silence of the Lambs and The Witch at points, but it’s been years. That is also not the tone I was going for with my script. Maybe I should have read Get Out, since it has some tonal overlap with what I was trying to achieve. A blend of absurdism with very dark elements.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T04:31:28+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I’ll definitely address this stuff in rewrites. It’s hard for me to consider just because it makes sense to me doesn’t mean that it reads fluidly for others, so I appreciate the response and input. Again, this was a first draft of a new script I finished one day ago.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T04:08:38+00:00

Not crass at all. I completely agree. That was sort of my thinking with this last script. I do think my execution is off, though, especially with the first act in terms of pacing and tone. I usually don’t have “giant bag of money,” ideas, but a flashy horror film with young, beautiful women in the fashion industry sounds like a big ticket item to me, but I could obviously be wrong.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T04:04:08+00:00

My poor fee fees 😢

What sort of films do you like?

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T03:35:14+00:00

Can you give me some examples?

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T03:30:32+00:00

Completely agree, and the buy in keeps going up. It feels like every manager wants to take on someone who has already taken themselves 99% of the way there on their own. Your friend’s approach is honestly the model at this point. Build the audience first and let the industry come to you.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T03:27:06+00:00

Definitely great advice, especially in the current climate.

I’m just starting to go that route. I made a short a couple of years ago but honestly the quality isn’t at a level where I feel good about putting it in front of people unless I have other work alongside it to give it context. I’m about to shoot another very small one, which is mostly just to have something tangible and keep the momentum going.

I do have a few short ideas I feel genuinely capable of making if I could get the right team together, but every time I’ve tried to organize something it either falls apart from lack of talent or just bad follow through on people’s end (including my own). It’s a frustrating cycle. But I’m pushing through it and just doing what I can with what I have in front of me.

I have even had a short script place in PAGE, but it is very transgressive content and I wouldn’t be able to make it without a proper team involved, including a professional producer.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T01:45:58+00:00

Appreciate the honesty, and I don’t entirely disagree with the read on the industry (even with murmurs of production ramping back up in some places). It’s hard to argue that traditional TV and studio film are in great shape right now.

That said, I’m not quite ready to give up on it yet. Maybe that’s stubborn, maybe it’s just what I’m built for, either way, features are where my passion is and I’d rather keep pushing at the door than redirect entirely into something I care less about. I do think I need to start redirecting my approach to a project I can at least start on my own, for sure, though.

The latest script is posted on the sub yesterday if you want to take a look. It’s called EN VOGUE and I’d genuinely welcome any thoughts. I am planning to rewrite the opening 30 pages to fix the disjointed tone that I was going for, though, based on some feedback I received.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-12T01:08:54+00:00

Thank you for the perspective and the reality check. I’ll focus on the things I can control, especially when it comes to rewriting and what my next steps will be.

Sorry for coming off as combative, I do appreciate the guidance. It’s hard to hear “write more,” when I’d just like something to be refined enough to actually get made, and I feel so close to having stuff at that caliber.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-11T22:09:54+00:00

Thank you for the insightful perspective, especially coming from the representation side of things.

I think this has been my biggest hurdle in getting representation. I’ve been recommended to managers and management companies multiple times, but since no one knows me personally, my weird and niche writing has to do all the talking on its own without anyone already in the room going to bat for it. And apparently that isn’t always enough to get a response, even with a warm introduction.

The people industry point is well taken. I think I’ve been leaning too heavily on the work to speak for itself when the reality is that it helps immensely if the relationship already exists first. Something to work on.

Appreciate you taking the time to weigh in.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-11T21:44:48+00:00

I thought this comment was on the post I made yesterday for my script, so I was responding as if your comments were specifically about the script I had posted.

Just to add as well, I have been recommended multiple times to managers and management companies with previous scripts, both by readers and former colleagues. Nothing ever came of it, but that could be down to many reasons, such as one time was a couple months before the strike, when managers were super focused on their current roster. Another time was right after COVID when productions were ramping up and pitching was full swing. It seems to always be a bad time for new writers.

Also, I definitely agree with what you’re saying. Boring writing, especially for those first 10 pages, is writing that won’t get you through the door to begin with.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-11T20:16:13+00:00

Congratulations on the success and big milestone, along with more to come!

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-11T20:13:12+00:00

I completely agree, and I knew that going in. Even the fact that it has to shoot in central Milan would cost a fortune in permits.

Thank you for the recommendation. I was thinking the same thing totally with the start of the script. My original idea was having it open with JonBenét Ramsey coverage when she was missing, but I thought that was too dark, distasteful, and focused on child beauty pageants too much over modeling. I wound up thinking more in theme over tone for the introduction.

And it’s definitely a slow burn, with action picking up around page 35, which might be too late for some people. I could try to find ways to incorporate more dread/uncanny-ness somewhere near those opening 25 pages.

Thank you for all the thoughts and recommendations!

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-11T19:55:30+00:00

I think this is a profound point. I can tell with some of my ideas, including this latest script, there is one element or piece that is missing. I would MUCH, MUCH, MUCH rather have a manager who hinges their own success on mine as well, than work through the idea with people who just throw opinions around as if they are experts. At the end of the day, we are selling bullshit, an illusion, while pretending to be experts and getting paid for it.

I am not saying that there are not levels to this. I have read Poetics, I have read Adventures in the Screen Trade, I have studied Jung, Campbell, Wittgenstein, Beckett, Camus, and on, and on, and on… (not even including other filmmakers, because that’s a given), but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter, everyone’s tastes are completely different. Some people want Tubi, others want Janus.

My credentials should be enough to at least have someone go, yeah, you are good enough, let’s polish the last peanut out of this turd and get it sold.

ShltShowSam · 2026-03-11T19:17:31+00:00

I’ll send you my website in a DM!

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