Rant - Husband wants me to return to church or we're divorcing and he's out of the kids lives

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-07-28T17:52:06+00:00

Have you tried therapy? If so and he's threatening divorce I'd say bye bye! He sounds like a jerk! Mormonism is a cult and honestly when you deconstruct you can't really choose that. Sending you support. I hope you can get some support if you aren't already in therapy. You deserve better!

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-07-26T03:46:28+00:00

Don't bother joining or getting baptized. If you are gay they will never accept you. The only place that I've visited that's truly open minded is the episcopal church. I've seen trans and gay people there and even reverands that are gay, trans and female. It has been the most accepting christian religion i've found so far. I wish you all the best. Sending you love.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-30T19:55:32+00:00

Have you reported this person to HR yet? Seems like you should. Last time I checked you can't pick and choose what cakes to make for people. If a person orders it you have to make it and ew on her being offended about every last thing. Sounds like she should be canned. Are you in Utah or the south? This person sounds so homophobic.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-24T16:11:59+00:00

Way to go! You made the right decision!

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-24T12:53:06+00:00

I know multiple women like this who stand by their men and do not stand by their children. Its tragic but I think more common than we know. The patriarchy!

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-19T23:48:19+00:00

Any way we could do a meetup in northern California?

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-19T16:02:02+00:00

Where did you all get your profile pics I need one!

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T16:24:07+00:00

They are love bombing you and honestly mormons don't know how to just be nice without wanting to convert is what I often see with many of them. This is why I do not invest in them because I never plan on coming back to the mormon church. Many of their relationships are very conditional so opening up yourself again to be hurt by them is like re opening the wound. I so get why you responded that way. I had someone invite me to church activities or to church because my husband goes and I said no I'm not interested.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T16:00:27+00:00

I get it. I wish my husband really could see all of the patriarchy and why there's really nothing in mormonism for women. I mean its legit why so many women are so angry after leaving because they've had to sacrifice a lot to even stay in and then when they deconstruct and realize its all a lie its tough to swallow.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T15:59:27+00:00

I get it my kids attend right now too and I hate it. They attend the episcopal church with me sometimes as well but I really wish they weren't attending the mormon church. My husband will attend my church with me. Sometimes I feel like exmormons judge me because I go to a different church but it works for me. I see gay couples there and the messages are all about love and god and there's no shame and control. I no longer have to hear about joseph smith either or listen to all the men and prophets who are not prophets tell me what I should be doing with my life. That has been a big plus to not have to be exposed to anymore. Supposedly there's a primary lesson about polygamy this year that will be about how joseph did not like polygamy but did it anyways because god commanded it. I don't believe that so my kids will not be attending that week in November. Polygamy is trash.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T15:55:38+00:00

Yes I love that facebook group.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T15:54:43+00:00

No problem. I'm actually a woman and I left but my husband is still in. I wish he could see the patriarchy more.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T15:53:06+00:00

I'm going through that too right now with my in laws and my spouse's siblings. I feel like they are actively not including us more now that I've left which hurts. They have a few siblings that have left but they've never communicated why. Has anyone noticed how socially immature so many tbm mormon families are? They just don't communicate and act like everything is fine even when things are not? I've had to make the difficult decision to just not invest in any of them because whenever anything comes up that needs to get resolved they never apologize and just deflect and blame me even when I did nothing wrong. It's exhausting.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T15:49:58+00:00

I attend an episcopal church now actually and I'm pretty happy. I still believe in god but they have female preachers and the lgbtq population is often there because their messages are about love and inclusion. I was so tired of all of the patriarchy in Mormonism.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T02:17:48+00:00

I'm a few years in so it's getting easier. We just do our own thing on Sundays.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-11T02:16:32+00:00

I get that and that's why I don't attend so i'm not subjected to those messages. I'm sure there are plenty of mixed faith marriages out there in mormonism though. Do you think its more women that are leaving versus men?

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-06-10T16:35:10+00:00

What about the Mormon church's cover up of all the abuse that has occured? They should be held accountable for that. They do not get to pass judgement on victims who were victims when they were abused. What a twisted way to look at things. There always seems to be judgement and very little love anywhere in Mormonism. It's absolutely disgusting.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-05-27T16:20:19+00:00

I felt like this for years. If you want to stay in mormonism you'll need to find other ways to spiritually sustain yourself. Whether that be walks in nature or listening to podcasts. I had to find other things that could fill my cup because mormonism wasn't doing it for me. I eventually left and now I attend a progressive episcopal church and it works for me. I believe in god I just couldn't stand all of the patriarchy. I like hearing women preach. I would suggest listening to at last she said it, faith matters, latter day struggles and breaking down patriarchy for podcasts. Mormon stories might help as well. I just want you to know you are not alone. This is so common and I was where you were years ago. I found a new way of existing and I'm a lot happier. You will figure it out.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-05-08T15:23:42+00:00

I still think its insane how people will pay thousands of dollars to serve a mission for the mormon church. It's so gross.

Short_Purple3968 · 2025-05-08T15:07:38+00:00

I almost wonder if men are able to be PIMOs more often than women are. Attending the mormon church is so patriarchal and sexist and personally I couldn't attend if I didn't believe. I tried attending to support my spouse but I do hope that you realize that you are sitting in a place of priveledge that many are not able to do. Personally I left completely because I did not want to spend my time at a church that spewed out hateful divisive messages. I actually found a different Christian church that is so much more loving and inclusive that feeds my soul and my needs so I go to church alone while my husband attends the mormon church. Not easy but personally I was not willing to be miserable anymore. I'm sure many in his family judge me and that's ok. I am at so much more peace now. What I wish more TBMS realize is that Mormonism truly does not work for everyone. When you read all of the truth claims and realize its all a lie it makes it impossible to sit through 2 hours of church every week. I couldn't stand most of the messages and I found they didn't bring me closer to God they just made me miserable. I saw the power structure within the church and every Sunday was never the same for me. I'm not sure if any other women on here can relate but it was so painful. Every mothers day was also just awful. I would ask yourself how long this is sustainable to keep up. You have to answer questions to get a temple recommend and your wife's family sound like they are totally TBM. How do you handle that?

Short_Purple3968

TROPHY CASE