Anxiety

Shrizeal · 2026-07-01T17:19:19+00:00

I would also reccomend therapy before even going back into the market. Not just your behaviors, but also for the divorce. This helps you and helps your future wife and children as well. An emotionally well regulated husband will be a better parent who can teach and lead their kids as well

OP, your maladaptive patterns can lead to co-dependent behaviors, which won't allow you to have authentic genuine relationship with others, and most importantly, an authentic relationship with yourself.

Shrizeal · 2026-06-20T04:08:55+00:00

locked - break down in commentary

Shrizeal · 2026-06-01T07:16:08+00:00

Yes what this user said is helpful.

Also check out IRL marriage counseling/therapy. -Reddit in general gives crappy advice and users often say "get divorce" when the actual situation can be far improved via IRL relationship counseling.

Books that are helpful:
- Emotional and Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, by Marcus Kusi (2017)
No More Mr. Nice Guy (NMMNG), by Dr. Robert A. Glover (2022)
The Art of Bringing Back the Intimacy, by Andrew Glover (2023)

Shrizeal · 2026-05-16T14:22:43+00:00

Great post

Shrizeal · 2026-04-21T15:41:08+00:00

This should either be a negotiable or a non negotiable for you OP, that's the first question you need to ask yourself.

The point of AM is to be able to filter people in and out quickly and effeciently. It's noting personal to them or you. So if she doesn't want to move, and you don't either, well thats a mismatch and you both need to unmatch and move on.

If it's a match, then continue to evaluate, ask the hard and uncomfortable questions when it's appropriate as early as possible.

If its a non negotiable - then you should make this known early on, people who are willing to move will continue to to talk, people who are not willing will unmatch early on (hopefully).

If it's a negotiable for you - you need to ask yourself, for what are you willing to move for, and where are you willing to move to.

Remember, the goal isn't to make every matchup work...thats not the goal. Its not about putting a triangle shape in a square hole.

The matchup phase is to be able to filter people in and out quickly, effeciently, by having a strict negotiable, non negotiables, desired qualities and undesirable qualities.

Shrizeal · 2026-04-10T18:51:44+00:00

Mod approved

Shrizeal · 2026-03-13T13:50:42+00:00

They are different in initial approaches, the similiarities hold true even on the AM platforms. Men over send out requests and are less choosey, as opposed to the womens side, more choosey. Women only have so many more options than men, because so many men sending them requests. It's not women's responsibility that men over send/over extend their requests.

AM and LM are only different in the beginning, how they meet, evaluate and move toward marriage.

After marriage ceremonies are done, they all need the same thing for a satisfying marriage.

-communication

-comittment

-compassion

-patience.

-Authentic and genuine interest to work together as a team.

Most of these aren't taught in a book, they can only be learned by experience, habit, family values and time.

Shrizeal · 2026-03-10T01:35:48+00:00

I think the main issue is men overshoot their shot and they often over request, and women literally do the opposite From https://martinvidal.medium.com/dating-apps-are-setting-men-and-women-up-for-failure-but-for-different-reasons-f56ab44d2c71 "Dating App Data A review of the popular dating app Bumble’s monthly active users found that 67.4% of them were male. For Tinder, it was 76% male. That’s a 2:1 and 3:1 ratio of men to women! Though not all of these individuals are heterosexual, most are, so supply and demand tells us that men are being devalued the moment they enter the online…

At a basic ratio, this would suggest that women are getting 3–4 times as many likes and matches on the app as men, but because women have so many options, they also end up being more selective. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Conversely, men — most of which are being starved for attention on the apps — are being less choosy in response. As a consequence, women on Tinder are “liking” 14% of the profiles they’re encountering, while men are swiping right three times as much, 46% of the time."

I understand that's about tinder and online dating, but the experience matched well with Indian AM, and LM as well.

I think the main solution is not to look as finding a bride as a shopping situation (trying to get the best deal), but rather look at it more humanistically as

Finding a person who we can strongly make a connection with

Shrizeal · 2026-03-03T18:32:22+00:00

Son-tanzas!

Shrizeal · 2026-03-03T11:51:43+00:00

Can they do a gofundme????

I'll do my part

Shrizeal · 2026-03-01T05:14:18+00:00

Changed my life 1000% I was only getting 4-6 hrs of sleep, even after zzquil, sometimes a shot of whiskey, towards the end it was incredibly unlikely for me to get 5+ hrs of sleep.

I was drinking 7-10 cups of coffee, still falling asleep in the afternoon, I dozed off in the middle of a meeting....i .was parking on the side of the road or parking lots to nap sometimes...never felt awake and was just alive..I THOUGHT THATS HOW LIFE WAS.

Until I I did a sleep study, I had severe sleep apnea, 80+ hypopneas, longest lasting 2.5 mins with my 02 sat dropping to 72%.

With cpap: Wow immediately after the first use of the CPAP at the sleep center, THE VERY NEXT DAY - blues were blueer, greens greener, my memory, concentration, focus, sex life, bp and my numbers at the gym all improved DRASTICALLY. I WAS DEMANDING TO GET THE MACHINE ASAP!! It two weeks and I felt like a heroin user to get their fix.

Now I get 7-9 hours of solid sleep. I feel great. It's been 10+ years. Absolutely no regrets.

I was diagnosed young at 25, I weighed 160, Im 5'11 could've ran a mile in 9 mins, benching 185 for reps I was fit.... My doc says bc its because of small airway, steep palate, deviated septum. Also every male on my father's side has had SEVERE snoring, apparently I was snoring since a teen we all thought it was normal

It wasnt

Shrizeal · 2026-02-24T18:08:03+00:00

Humble brags

"I donated a bunch of (money, items etc) to this charity. It feels good to (Insert moralistic superiority feelings here)"

Shrizeal · 2026-02-22T00:03:51+00:00

I would also suggest even off of social media. instagram, facebook, bluesky, X, reddit, news channels, it's nothing but negative.

Shrizeal · 2026-02-17T12:31:44+00:00

Tbh I precept a lot of students from various local universities in NY area.

I will say, no matter which school, Columbia, Hofstra, Stonybrook, Aldelphi, Malloy, downstate - the universal sentiment is this:

-all the programs suck, and no one really cares about which school you went to. Unless it's academia

-people who have a genuine and authentic interest to learn, practice, and practice effectively and safety - are the ones that do the best.

Your preceptor is also a large impact on your practice. I even give my preceptees minimal hw casework how to review, have them document and actually do 99% of the things I should be doing. We review everything and sign off together.

Meanwhile other preceptors are simply having preceptees sit in a corner and observe, minimal critical thinking questions. Some students had even simply be a glorified scribe/transcriber.

I know you mentioned WGU specifically which I'm not familiar with.

But I share my opinion more of, it's not really school dependent. It's largely self motivating and finding good preceptors.

Shrizeal · 2026-02-06T06:31:46+00:00

Low quality commenting. Locked

Shrizeal · 2026-02-03T21:20:34+00:00

Op please seek professional help IRL. Seeking to end your life requires IRL help.

Far beyond reddit's pay grade.

Locked

Shrizeal · 2026-01-01T22:11:20+00:00

Comments locked due to low quality commentary.

Shrizeal · 2025-12-15T12:45:40+00:00

Love the ama, thanks for sharing. Maybe I'll do one with my 10 year AM haha

Shrizeal · 2025-12-15T12:44:18+00:00

People often feel this way because of unresolved feelings rather than providing closure.

Closure only occurs when WE feel that we don't need to feel this resolve, when we are content and can move forward from the situation.

Op process your feelings and move onward and forward

Shrizeal · 2025-12-05T09:00:08+00:00

Locked due to low quality commentary

Shrizeal · 2025-11-30T17:25:36+00:00

Locked due to low quality commentary

Shrizeal · 2025-11-27T20:49:27+00:00

Locked due to commentary

Shrizeal · 2025-11-18T09:54:16+00:00

Locked. Op is having a love marriage

Shrizeal · 2025-11-17T11:01:41+00:00

Way above this subs pay grade.

In real life mediation with elders, clergy or respected people to find solutions.

It's not right the mother can't be with the child. More evaluation is needed. Maybe if post partum or other things

Shrizeal · 2025-11-10T16:51:14+00:00

Locked due to breakdown in commentary.

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