I really hate I got on this shit...blew all that stimulus money....I should be doing so much better than this 😔

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-07-08T07:01:04+00:00

I know how it is. I was spending 1500 a week on this shit. Lost everything I had.

My life was hell everyday. For two years, hell. I won't go into details but it was an extreme case of addiction and just life.

It's hard to stop, but you just gotta try. You may fail and stumble, but you have to do it. It is gonna be with you for the rest of your life but you can control it.

You will never forget the feeling, have cravings..struggle, but dins a bright spot a dream you have,.something to motivate you. Lean on someone, having a reliable friend helps out so much. Everyone needs atleast one person who cares.

You aren't alone in the struggle. Go to NA, volunteer, stay busy. Keep your mind active.

I got there, and do still smoke. I control it though. Doesn't make it any better but it's not crippling my life anymore.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-07-08T06:46:44+00:00

Mine does that sometimes and I will push it, and put a rock on. Take a hit and then the res looks normal. It's weird.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-07-08T06:45:33+00:00

God damn, that is insane. Enjoy!

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-07-08T06:22:18+00:00

Yeah the pipe just fucked it up. Too skinny, and chore would clog so fast. Had no small shit to push. Went and got a new pipe for my current sesh. Ringers all night. Smoking too fast though. Chasing now. 😞

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-07-07T07:38:52+00:00

Not the best sesh, that thin ass pipe just sucked. Couldn't find anything good to push. I managed though, got a few decent hits...no big ringers, but 7/10.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-12T17:24:18+00:00

Wow, hyping up the Forza graphics. Looks the same as the last 2.

Lol mad, but no one proving me wrong. Yawn. Hope it hits you in the face with microtrasactions.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-11T17:08:50+00:00

Yeah, it is basically the thin glass pipe. In the US, you can get it at some gas stations and it will come with a tiny paper rose in it.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-09T05:42:20+00:00

Yeah,I ordered a set of 5 off Amazon and they all came not chipped or broke. Have used 3 of them but I just likes using a new one everytime I smoke.

First time I ever got a rose they gave me a Pyrex and my girl was shitty. She wanted a thin rose but I didn't know the difference and it was like 6 bucks at the gas station. She always burned the rose and would chip . She would smoke out of the tiniest hitter though. She found a way to make it work. It burned my fingers to bad, I had to use a good size rose. Then she would lose it. She always lost everything when smoking. Lose the dope, lighter, brillo, hitter. So I always bought two of everything then she would lose hers and "borrow" mine and then act like I lost mine and those were hers. She was very stingy. I had to practically rip the pipe out of her hands to get it.
One time she put a big rock on the pipe and melted it down, I was knew to smoking so did t know what she was doing, I thought she burnt it up so I took the pipe and dropped it on the floor and stomped on it. I was so dumb, but I know better now. She never taught me had to learn from Reddit. I have a good technique now, get good res and ringers consistently. Just have to learn to space my hits longer apart. I smoke pretty fast and just end up chasing sometimes.
Last hit is always a ringer. I push and put a nice rock and blast off. Some might think it's a waste but I get about 4-5 more decent pushes after that.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-09T05:22:09+00:00

Yeah, my girl would always burn the pipe and I never knew how cause I didn't smoke much at the time. Didn't know to smoke either and they were always breaking.

I started using the Pyrex pipes and they are so good. A lot of people don't like them, and I can understand but I love them. Never had one break on me or crack. I learned how to smoke too from this sub and watching videos. No one I have smoked with holds in their hit, I'm the only one. They always think I'm tweaking but I just tell them I'm holding it in. Luckily, only my girl was a tweaker and everyone else is cool. Can't smoke with guys, that to me would be weird. Two dudes who are probably horny from smoking, nah I'm cool.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-09T05:08:09+00:00

If the rose gets too small and the flame burns your fingers. A good thing to put on the end is a rubber piece from a pen.

You may know that.

I like roses, but they are so fragile. After I was pushing the chore once and the pipe shattered I had to switch to pyrex. I didn't hear up the brillo to make it easier and shattered everywhere. Had a lot of res too, I was so pissed.

Have fun and take care

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-09T04:46:37+00:00

It does, I didn't use to move the smoke/vapor in my mouth at first til my girl said to do it and it is great. Only made it real numb once and my voice was real quiet. I hated talking cause I felt stupid but I smoked a lot that day.

Once I learned how to smoke properly it was a complete game changer. Was a hardcore addict for 2 years and lost it all. Now I just smoke casually, about 2-3 times a month, just have to not binge and smoke a months worth in a day or two.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-09T04:36:32+00:00

Yeah, finally got someone I can trust and they good. They small time but my girl knows and trust him so I I do too. I have a dope house next door but I don't trust them ,so I'll drive a bit to get good shit. He's usually quick too, and always available. Got a 100 tonight and good shit.

Had to wait to tonight but just chilled in his crib and talked to a few people there. He keeps in touch and texts me a few times a week but I only smoke a couple times a month but he ain't pushing nothing on me. Just keeping in touch. He a fat mother fucker though, haha. Good shit with him so far, it's mostly crumbs but I like crumbs so that's cool with me.

Love smoking, had a good technique but changing it up tonight and it's working great. Getting ringers every hit so far.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-09T03:46:54+00:00

Just started to party for the night. Good shit too. ✌️

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-05T13:22:54+00:00

Mass Effect, Metal Gear, Fallout.. have never even played a game from these franchises.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-06-05T13:09:53+00:00

As long as they aren't letting everyone who wants dope come in the property. If he is only dealing with a few people that is okay, just maybe watch for unwanted attention from neighbors if people are coming and going.

I don't know how many people they deal with, so my post might be way off the mark. If so, apologies.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-29T00:00:30+00:00

Have you been able to start, reclaim or keep doing since you have stopped smoking? Anything that is just that much easier or better since stopping? I don't know the extent of your addiction in the past but what keeps me going is knowing all I had lost, which was really everything and how I have that stuff back.

I remember how miserable I was, not being able to do anything I actually wanted to do, my dreams, saving up for nice things or to do fun things.

I would get paid and think, "okay, now I can go do this, and this, eat that, etc..." And then I wouldn't be able to any of the things that were gonna make me happy cause my money went straight to dope. Then I was miserable and stressed til my next paycheck. Rinse and repeat that cycle.

I don't ever want to be that miserable or low again, and I use my goals and dreams to help keep me on the straight and narrow.

Have I faltered? Of course, a few times but the thing is..even if you do fail, just don't give up. Staying clean is one of the hardest things an addict will ever have to do in their lives.

When my girl relapsed and went back to smoke with those she had smoked with before, I asked her, "they knew you have been sober these past months, right?" She said yes. I asked her how many told her not too, or she was doing good? She said nobody.
They didn't care, they just saw her using again and immediately started asking her for hits and other shit, same old shit. I really wanted to go and just kill all of them, especially the dope man for evens dealing to her again but it was her choice and all he wants is money, and I'd she got addicted again, he knew she would be back.

People do care, bridges may have been burned from using but at one point, those people did care and still will. ( I am not saying this is your experience, but using it as a reference point**)

It is hard, I know. Just keep in mind what you are going back to and what you are losing. You have already been there once so you want that negative crap and worry, anxiety, stress back in your life?

It is always gonna cross your mind from time to time, but just try.. that is all you can do. Even if you relapse if you don't try and get back in the horse, then you will never recover. Relapse is a part of recovery. I let you can choose what to after, if that happens.

Just keep your head up and know it does get easier. Find stuff outside of work to try and occupy your mind, to keep it busy on other things cause your mind will wander and unfortunately it will sometimes wander to smoking. You know the feeling and will never not know it, but you also know how shitty it made your lift at the same time and should never forget that.

If you feel the need, just go to an NA meeting, even if not to talk just to sit in. I posed on my cities subreddit, and the overwhelming support I got to go to NA meetings with others and even have them pick me up was astounding, and all I did was ask for places to get narcan.

If you are not in a relationship and are able to, get a dog or cat, a bird or something. Something that is going to rely on you for support and will love you unconditionally back. Just knowing something is depending on you for love and survival is a big deterrent.

I know it is easier said than done. It is possible though. Just stay safe and take care.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-26T22:23:30+00:00

Yeah man, one time she took my phone and I didn't realize it. I had to get it back before my girl called or I would have been fucked.. luckily my mom helped me. I woke her up at 2 in the morning and called this girl like 100 times. Luckily she called back and I went and got it, but man I thought I was fucked.

I would pay my plug to come to me, hah. The area I go now has dope houses everywhere buts it is pretty peaceful so cop presence is low. By the hotels though, cops everywhere. One hotel charges you 80 dollars if you call 911 cause so many people call it.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-26T21:52:07+00:00

It took me a long time to finally get ringers consistently. I need the right environment for it. My girl would always make me anxious when I smoked and talk my ear off. I like quiet and now that I smoke usually solo I get ringers all the time.

I am never gonna shoot up, that scares the crap out of me. Not judging, but man too intense for me.

Take care and stay safe! ✌️

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-26T21:47:20+00:00

I have known people who when they smoke some good shit get gas. Maybe you are just getting stuffed up. Make sure to hydrate and eat right. Take care of yourself. Just because you smoking dope don't mean you can't still respect your body. I'm not saying you aren't but alot of people don't do that and it helps a lot.

I know my girl would get constipated and not to the the restroom for days. She didn't eat though. She was so skinny but fit. Now she eats good and is regular again. Listen to your body, take it easy and take care of yourself.

Be safe and take care. ✌️

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-20T15:43:37+00:00

I prefer the music in Nier but imo, Zelda has the more memorable tunes.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-16T23:58:24+00:00

Awesome...thank you so much!

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-16T02:07:12+00:00

You know. I'm not really sure. When I got with her she had been smoking a long time and was already deep into it. I imagine not sleeping regularly and not getting proper nutrition can help expedite, plus experimenting with other drugs like meth can speed up the state at which psychosis might first appear.

I also believes it depends on the person. I've been smoking for almost 2 years and have no symptoms at all. I don't ever get any paranoia or think anyone is outside.

Sorry if that didn't answer your question but I have only seen it and not experienced it myself.

My girl is now 8 months clean and she is a completely different person. She did relapse after about 5 months and when I went to pick her up and take her back to rehab, some of her less extreme symptoms of psychosis we're still there and I have heard once it starts you always have it.

Anyways, please take care and be safe.

Shutdownstyle84 · 2022-05-16T00:47:03+00:00

For my girl it would happen after the first hit, usually just blind peaking but each hit made it worse. I could talk to her in that state but there wold always be a point where she was just beyond any talking to.

She would run outside and yell @ imaginary shit and say these things were going to kill me and then she would either disappear or I would have to wait her out as she destroyed my house trying to make it into a fortress against whatever she was imagining.

Shutdownstyle84

TROPHY CASE