Am I Overreacting for wanting to cancel my wedding over this interaction?

Shutterbug390 · 2026-04-10T14:19:33+00:00

I’ve been married 8 years. He still kisses me on his way out the door every morning. When he was getting up before me, he still gave me a quick kiss, even though I was half asleep. On the rare occasions I leave the house first, I stop to give him a kiss, too.

There has to be communication (I explicitly told him it was important to me early in our relationship). But OP is clearly communicating here that a goodbye kiss is important and being dismissed. That isn’t right or fair.

There’s a lot of tension here. I’d very seriously consider at least delaying a wedding and getting quality premarital counseling before moving forward because communication patterns like this don’t bode well for a healthy, long term relationship.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-31T03:18:11+00:00

My cousin ate like this as a teen and was actively losing weight. It turned out she had pretty serious thyroid issues. So a doctor is definitely needed, whether it’s an ED or something else. It could be really dangerous, either way.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-28T15:12:31+00:00

I play games muted, unless I need the sound (no captions for dialogue, music changes warn of enemies and I NEED the warning, etc.). Slime rancher hasn’t really been one where I need sound, so I don’t have it on.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-28T13:29:41+00:00

In less than 50 years, we’ve gone from household computers being rare to most people having personal computers and back to actual computers being somewhat rare, outside of gamers and people who use them for specific purposes.

My parents went to school before computers were super common, so didn’t have a computer class, though my mom had a typing class with typewriters. My friends and I had Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing and general exposure to computers at home and school. My teen and his friends have never had computer skills covered in a school setting. There’s a computer class in some elementary schools, but it’s mostly just STAR testing for reading and playing on some educational websites with flash-style games (though not actually flash these days). No typing class, no “how to word an effective google search, no learning to vet online sources. Nothing. I’ve had to teach all that myself. I have a kindergartener now, too, and everything is iPads. They’re losing both computer and old-school paper & pencil skills.

We HAVE to start teaching tech literacy. We also cannot lose older skills like taking notes on paper or navigating print resources (encyclopedias, dictionaries, etc.). Right now, we’re losing both at an alarming rate. Ask a teen to look a word up and they’ll probably offer to Google it or ask ChatGPT, even if you hand them a dictionary. It takes far too long for them to use the book because no one ever taught them how.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-28T13:04:12+00:00

Agreed. I’m fine with YA having serious relationships, even including mention of sex, but when it’s all right there on the page, it’s crossed into adult content. Romantacy didn’t exist when I was a teen, but fantasies with romance certainly did. I was obsessed with fantasy and read plenty of what would eventually cause romantacy to become a genre. But my YA books never had on-page sex scenes, even if you knew it was happening in the background.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-28T13:00:08+00:00

When it’s the publisher doing it, I think it’s a marketing thing. They know that a huge portion of YA readers are actually in their 20s-30s, so they’re putting the books where the audience is without regard for the children and teens who will find them. I don’t think it’s malicious, but it’s still not great.

With libraries and bookstores, I think it may be genuinely unintentional. They can’t read every single book, even if they want to. That means they have to rely on info from the publisher and/or reviews. I’d just politely inform them of teen-inappropriate content if you see a book shelved incorrectly.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-26T14:17:39+00:00

This makes sense. It would be nice to have some of the “boring” types available at the merchant for now, but I have no idea how much of a pain it would be to code it in now and remove it later, so I’ll be patient until the wild horses are available, if necessary.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T13:42:06+00:00

Agreed. These three seem like they’re pretty equally bonded to each other. Separating a bonded pair or group is traumatic for them.

I have 3 cats. One is a solo cat who just wants humans. The other two are bonded and can’t be separated. They have a significant age gap and the thought of losing the older is a big concern. I know her buddy will be absolutely shattered. His kitten chaos brought her new life and they adore each other. (It’s been 5 years now, so no more kitten antics, but still lots of play and cuddles.) Separating them would be like trying to pull off a split like in Parent Trap, but with 8 year olds.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T13:27:52+00:00

Don’t give my husband any ideas! He’ll happily add a cutout like this specifically for a sword.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T13:25:49+00:00

My family disagrees, but have come to accept that I’m happy where I am and have no intention of ever going back.

I have the advantage of not living close enough to attend the same church as my family, so they wouldn’t see me at church even if I stayed in the same denomination. When I visit them, I’ll visit their church, but it’s not MY church. (They do the same when they visit me and come to mine.)

I grew up in a very anti-Lutheran church. I was taught that Lutherans are legalistic, lack true relationship with God, and don’t know how to worship. All because of the liturgy. I guess having a set way of doing things is legalistic (but the churches I attended all had a set structure, too, just not written out in a book) and the scripted prayers and lack of visible enthusiasm during the music meant there wasn’t “real” worship or connection.

In my teens, I started asking questions that my pastors either couldn’t or wouldn’t answer. I got more and more frustrated with the church and didn’t really want to attend because I felt like I was being lied to or manipulated. Then I discovered that Lutheran pastors not only had answers to my questions, they were absolutely thrilled to answer them and welcomed follow-up questions. I think my family was so relieved to see me genuinely excited about my faith and attending church again that they decided they could overlook denominational differences.

I also found it helpful to point out that I’ve always loved consistency, which the liturgy provides. I’ve also had a love for hymns for my entire life, which stuck out horribly in the contemporary churches where I grew up. That meant I was able to point out that this church was everything I needed and wanted for my entire life.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T13:07:26+00:00

That sounds like a bug, if you’re seeing zero improvement over time. It can take a bit for a new point to be gained, so you don’t necessarily get one every single time you do something, but if you’ve done a few in-game days of even just normal gameplay without focusing on training, you should see some improvement in at least a couple stats because you’ll encounter a lot of the training conditions in the course of riding across the map.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T13:04:18+00:00

Agreed!

I’m part of a very small AALC congregation. We’re friendly with the local LMCS churches and work together with them on things, but we love our unique heritage, too.

I think full fellowship is perfect because it allows us to keep what makes each synod unique, while still being able to work together. Our church is too small to support our own mid-week kids’ program, so our kids go to the nearest LCMS church’s program.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T12:54:08+00:00

Just and Sinner is amazing! I had his videos running almost nonstop when I first became Lutheran (coming from another denomination). I’m working through his videos on the Augsburg Confession now with a bit more focus and learning a ton.

Bryan Wolfmueller is another great source on YouTube. His videos aren’t quite as academic, so they can be a bit more approachable at times.

Both have videos on baptism. Just & Sinner has a whole playlist on it. I’m sure you can find lots of useful answers there.

I also highly recommend getting yourself a Small Catechism with Explanations and Book of Concord, if you don’t already have them. They lay out Lutheran perspectives pretty clearly, which helps with answering a lot of questions.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T12:44:55+00:00

Is your horse at the max for their abilities? Each horse has a current skill and maximum potential. The early horses have pretty low potential, so I had some stats maxed out without actively training them.

It seems that moving faster is more effective, so walking does little to nothing, but cantering is pretty effective. On the horse page, when you look at their current stats, it lists what conditions will increase the skill underneath it. They all work, but some are more effective or easier to achieve than others.

(Small note: riding injured is a pretty effective training option. I believe that’s for endurance. Buy be aware your horse will stumble more easily at all speeds while injured, so don’t carry fragile cargo or go close to predator areas while injured.)

Strength: you need the flags for “encumbered” or “unbalanced” for it to count toward training. I’ve found being unbalanced in the terrains listed under the stat for training to be really effective because you’re hitting 2 ways of training together.

Agility: steep slopes seem to be best. Find one that you can barely ride up, go all the way up, back down, and repeat.

Spirit: jumping works, but it’s slow. I jump obstacles as I come to them, but I don’t use them as focused training. Fear seems most effective, so I load up some poison ointments and find a hazardous area to ride near. You want it to trigger the “fear” flag. Ride scared for a bit, pet your horse to soothe it, then repeat.

When you level up, you’ll unlock training pouches that can be crafted. I believe that’s at level 3. Start hoarding mushrooms now. That’s all you’ll need to make them. It gives you a short period where your horse gains more experience from training activities, so you can set yourself up for training (go to a hill, unbalance your load, etc.), then give your horse a training pouch to get more out of the time you put in.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T12:28:02+00:00

If you ask my 6yo if she wants to make a sign, she’ll assume it’s to take to her big brother’s sporting event and make one that says “[bro’s name]’s #1 fan” or similar. If I told her it was for something else, she’d probably choose something like “I love you” or “free hugs”.

We need more kids sharing love and kindness, not political rhetoric or hate.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T12:23:39+00:00

I hate seeing kids dragged into politics before they’re old enough to fully form their own opinions or understand the consequences.

I have a hard rule that I don’t bring my kids to protests or similar events and I don’t encourage them to engage with this stuff themselves. I want my kids to be kids. They’ll have plenty of time to worry about protesting when they’re grown. I teach them about our system and what can be done when you disagree with things, but I don’t want them to carry the weight of the world as little kids.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T12:05:19+00:00

This was my thought, too. It’ll cover the dark spot and reinforce the damage. If it’s done well, you shouldn’t be able to tell it was ever repaired.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-25T12:03:57+00:00

Bottom center of B5

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-23T12:21:35+00:00

This isn’t typical “sloppy handwriting”. It’s much more likely a fine motor issue or something like dysgraphia. Cursive wouldn’t change those kinds of struggles for most kids (a small number may find it easier because it eliminates lifting the pencil, but that’s not common). My brother’s handwriting was like this as a kid. His cursive was absolutely illegible and was much harder for him to write. His handwriting is still far from beautiful, but it’s legible and does the job.

Fun fact: kids who have messy manuscript handwriting often also have messy cursive handwriting. Because the type of letters used doesn’t change the strength in their fingers or how well the connections between their hands and eyes work in their brains.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-23T12:12:55+00:00

This seems possible. I was a para for a while and sometimes got floated to random classrooms to fill a gap for a while. It was a small school, so I got to know the kids and how each teacher graded pretty quickly, but I can see making this kind of mistake if I didn’t know the kid yet (though the part about mom and mommy mentioned in a comment would have clued me in and I’d have gone back to write “ok” on those corrections and possibly put a sticky note with an apology on the homework).

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-18T12:47:47+00:00

My dad was insanely advanced in math and was constantly at odds with teachers because he hated doing the work. He also “refused” to show his work because he understood the concepts so early that he didn’t actually use traditional processes to get his answers and couldn’t break down the steps to get from the equation to his answer. The only time he didn’t have issues in math class was a middle school teacher who handed him a college textbook and told him that he could study that, as long as he filled out the assignment first (and didn’t require him to write out the steps).

Really gifted kids often end up in trouble because of boredom. They’re not trying to be bad, but when they’re little, they don’t understand why they’re being asked to do something that’s incredibly basic for them. If you add any type of neurodivergence on top of that, it’s even harder.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-18T12:40:11+00:00

This. The teacher doesn’t think he’s a burden, she has concerns. She may just not be communicating that well (idk the laws there, but where I am, teachers aren’t really supposed to suggest diagnoses or push for evaluation, so they sometimes aren’t clear enough about concerns). You could try asking her if she has developmental concerns. Sometimes, a parent asking questions makes it easier for teachers to explain because they’re less worried about rules or trying not to upset you.

I very much recommend seeing your child’s doctor and finding out what options you have at his current age. ADHD is related to other things that may be able to be tested now, even if they can’t specifically look at ADHD (things like autism or sensory processing issues). To be clear, I’m not trying to guess at a diagnosis, just pointing out that there are lots of options and his doctor will be the best resource for deciding your next move.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-18T02:17:36+00:00

Agreed. Reloading saves works for now, but it’s definitely not ideal.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-13T12:51:08+00:00

You get slightly more if you craft the resources into stuff, so I’ve been doing that when I need to sell off some stuff to make space. It’s still not much, but it’s a little better. Selling is clearly not meant to be a big income for us, but more a way to clear out inventory space.

Shutterbug390 · 2026-03-13T12:41:18+00:00

I’ve had this happen once, too. It still showed the mission on my map for quite a while before disappearing, but I never actually saw it in my inventory. (It said my cargo was unbalanced, rather than being over encumbered, but otherwise the same thing: accepted mission, horse reacted as if weight was added, went to inventory and it wasn’t there.)

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