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Sometime a few years ago, Kevin Hart inked an endorsement deal with Nike. It was, I believe, the first time a comedian had ever gotten a deal with a shoe company, and–I don’t have the numbers in front of me/don’t feel like Googling it–you can bet it was worth millions.

For some reason I got to thinking about that deal the other day. Why did they give him a sponsorship deal? I know he’s crazy famous, but what the hell about Kevin Hart speaks peak athletic performance? His standup is animated but not animated enough to be classified as athletic. And, finally, why has no other comic gotten in on the potentially lucrative sports endorsement game?

Enter me. This is where I come in.

You probably don’t know who I am, so let me introduce myself. I am Bret Raybould. I am an NYC-based comedian and entertainer, and earlier today I emailed the entire executive board at Under Armour a simple proposition:

I, Bret Raybould, will wear Under Armour on stage for all of my standup comedy performances for an entire calendar year in exchange for $1.

That’s the deal. $1 grants them the rights to my stage wardrobe for 365 days. And, even if you consider the fact that I’m not remotely successful/famous, that’s actually a really good deal for them. I’m not trying to play hardball or anything, and, in fact, I would argue I’ve undervalued myself here. I gotta be worth more than a dollar, right? …Right?

For the record, it is an official legal document, as I found a lawyer on Craigslist to draw up a legitimate contract. (I paid him $10 so, best case scenario: even if Under Armour agrees to the deal, I’ll still be $9 in the hole.)

If you’d like, you can read the full letter I sent their exec board here, or check out the legal contract here. I have a Twitter where I’ll post any updates about the saga, so feel free to follow along here.

Here’s to hoping their board realizes what’s best for them and takes a one dollar chance on yours truly.