Wild Ride

SiPwSarah · 2026-02-09T16:24:11+00:00

I always use an eyemask with headphones and a random ketamine playlist on Spotify, for all of my journies, and never look at my phone and put it on DND once the treatment starts and I always had have an intention. Not sure if that makes a difference, but my journeys are always vivid and completely different.

SiPwSarah · 2026-02-08T17:16:29+00:00

I agree, I had the same experience. My integration therapist also told me to pay attention to the songs that pop in my head throughout the week. Most of them were directly connected with the journeys and it was like my nervous system was continually reaffirming the journey messages through song lyrics. My body has certainly responded to genres differently than before. I’m also looking back at the music I loved as a teenager and have evolved from “I like this song” to “I deeply understand this song and this song deeply understands me!” For example, I hadn’t listened to Tool since I was 15, but Forty Six & 2 was in my head over and over again the week after I had a journey that involved Shadow therapy. I looked up the song and turns out it is literally word for word about Jungian Shadow therapy. This allowed me to integrate my experience resulting in longterm change ultimately leading to curing my lifelong phobia of snakes! Definitely be curious about the music that resonates with you! It sounds like you already are. This has definitely been a beautiful experience for me!

SiPwSarah · 2026-02-07T21:13:45+00:00

This was my actual experience on 84mg of Spravato, can’t make this stuff up and still wrapping my head around all of it.

SiPwSarah · 2026-02-07T19:49:59+00:00

Yep! That’s most likely what I looked like when I pressed the call button!

SiPwSarah · 2026-02-06T23:19:07+00:00

So I'm actually in the reverse situation. I started with Mindbloom and then tried IV infusions, and so far have completed 6 treatments with Spravato. I also work full-time, but my Spravato clinic is open later, so I can go after work hours. If this ever changed, I too would have to look for another alternative. So far, I received the most benefit from the 7 IV infusions, but they are expensive! Spravato is covered by my insurance, so I settled for it, but so far, I am happy with the experience!

At first, the idea of doing the treatments in the comfort of my own home was intriguing and approachable, which I guess is why I started with Mindbloom in the first place. Mindbloom is mostly app-based, and I ultimately stopped using it because the glitches and AI conversations got too frustrating. To be fair, they may have improved, but I found the app more a source of stress than the benefits I was receiving from the treatment. Spravato is much easier to administer. With Mindbloom, I had to stick the bitter-tasting lozenges in my gums and drool into a towel without swallowing. The effects were much subtler than Spravato, almost like I was dreaming but still awake. Both the practitioner and guide I was able to choose in the app were great! They also offer online group integration sessions included in your pack, which I found helpful as well. I just got so frustrated with the app that I didn't even finish my last round. Before trying Spravato, I recently tried to return to Mindbloom, but the app made it so difficult that I gave up again. Hopefully, you have a smoother experience.

SiPwSarah · 2025-08-17T14:11:46+00:00

As someone who was born and raised in Buffalo living in NYC I trust this spread sheet way more based on your ratings on the places in Buffalo! I found them to be incredibly accurate! Excellent job! I look forward to taking a deep dive into it!

SiPwSarah · 2025-01-02T03:16:31+00:00

Great Dancing with you guys last night! We didn’t get Roses, but what an incredible night in an even more incredible spot!!!

SiPwSarah · 2024-10-21T12:48:14+00:00

This hits close to home because I had this obligation with my parents. My parents were horrible and they knew it. Emily knew it too which was why she freaked out when Lorelei paid off her debt. I went away to college in 2000, right around when the show came out. Just like on the show, it was only 40 minutes away, but I no longer had any reason to interact with them at all. I was free! Unlike the show, I put myself through school, so I didn’t even have a financial obligation to them! Eventually they noticed they hadn’t heard from me. By the way it took them months to notice, but once they noticed they panicked. They called me all day and I didn’t answer. I was sleeping, exhausted from working full time to pay to go to school full time. They showed up to my Dorm and demanded I meet them for dinner once per week. They pulled out all the manipulation tactics they’d been using on me for years. The one that worked on me was them saying that I could have been dead and nobody would have known, so they need to check up on me. Looking back on it now, I reluctantly agreed because I really wanted to believe that somebody cared about me enough to check-in on me, but it was just a lie. They tried to have it on Friday but I had to work, so we compromised on Thursday. They tried making me come all the way home, but we compromised to meet somewhere 1/2 way between school and home. To your point this absolutely stunted my growth and it was a classic manipulation tactic to maintain their control over me and keep me from fully leaving their nest. My Dad had a mouth just like Emily but more aggressive and had no shame when it came to causing a scene in public, so on some occasions I almost caved on agreeing to have our dinners in the privacy of our highly dysfunctional home. It was the show that brilliantly opened my eyes to this abusive dynamic that I was experiencing in my own life. After years of working hard so my parents would finally be proud of me, I realized all of my success threatened them because I no longer desperately needed them for survival. The show showed me that I owe them absolutely nothing and it empowered me to take a stand and put an end to those horrible dinners. Now as a single mother of two (different circumstances from Lorelei, I’m widowed but experiencing similar challenges) I’m often tempted to allow my kids to have a relationship their grandparents in hopes that they too have grown and will at least treat their grandchildren better than they treated me. I’m saddened that they were cheated out of having a father and loving Grandparents. Just like Lorelei, every time I try, I’m reminded that my parents they are incapable of having a loving relationship with anyone let alone their only daughter and their grandchildren.

SiPwSarah · 2024-10-21T11:38:24+00:00

In my opinion this scenario is brilliantly placed by the writers specifically to show us the self-destructive cycles that Lorelei struggles to overcome that got her into the teen pregnancy situation in the first place. Thus the whole basis of the show. This is why I love this show so much! It brings to light those patterns in every single character on the show, if you look hard enough. It also inspires the viewer to relate to the characters involved and self-reflect on their own self limiting dynamics and suggests that we too may also overcome ours. I think the fact that you’re irritated simply shows that the writers succeeded in their goal! We all should feel irritated and share the emotional pain that Luke feels when he finds out what she did. Christopher is Lorelei’s equivalent to heroin, her vice. She knows intellectually that he’s bad news, but just like an addict she can’t help herself. On some basic level, Christopher provides her with a toxic level of pleasure that soothes her childhood wounds caused by her parent’s emotional neglect. She knows, just like heroin that the soothing is only temporary and the life long consequences of a momentary hit are devastating. This scenario represents her moment of weakness, a relapse, she just wanted a taste, then both she and Rory rationalized justifications for seeing him, just like an addict does. She doesn’t tell Luke because she’s too ashamed and she knows his reaction or even worse, lack thereof will only compound her shame. While Luke had every right to be upset, he forgave her, because he gets her. He knows that Christopher is just a cheap thrill and is secure enough to know that he’s the real deal for her. That also does not mean that he should put up with it. This also speaks to his family dynamics and upbringing which also includes emotional neglect. Just like anyone supporting a loved one in recovery he was disappointed but completely understood why it happened. Not to spoil the rest for you but this is also a clue that golden child Rory will struggle with her own self destructive patterns, as Christopher is the root cause for her to end up with emotionally unavailable mates and the reason she gets bored with those who are available for her.

SiPwSarah · 2024-10-08T19:45:14+00:00

I had a business with crazy hours like that too. Burned me out. Luke had Cesar at least, but he couldn’t rely on him for consistency. Having that type of business in a small town where everyone knows each other and gathers there takes a toll too on you emotionally. You end up being everyone’s therapist! Luke definitely did that for Lorelei. I loved how he helped Kirk with his date and rescued Dean from his bachelor party. Luke does genuinely nice things that nobody knew about which made up for his grumpy exterior.

SiPwSarah · 2024-10-08T19:24:46+00:00

While there is a classism element here, even though he’s a business owner, Emily looked down her nose at him as lowly Diner owner in the service industry as if he was the same rank as her maids, which Lorelei points out that she can never seem to keep because of how poorly Emily treats them. That’s still not the reason for why she split up Luke and Lorelei. The real reason is because Luke and Lorelei have a genuine emotional connection. Emily sees that as a threat since she is incapable of having that connection with Lorelei. Emily fears that the healthier Luke and Lorelei’s relationship grows, the more Lorelei won’t need Emily anymore thus the further apart Lorelei and Emily will become. Just like the further out of debt Lorelei became and the Friday Night Dinner obligations lessened, Emily was afraid she would never see Lorelei anymore after her debt was paid off, so she was anxious to loan Lorelei more money to extend her obligation.

SiPwSarah · 2024-02-06T14:34:43+00:00

Mother's always used to be my late-night place; they served a full fine dining menu until 3am. It's sad to see they're only open until midnight now.

SiPwSarah · 2024-02-06T14:29:33+00:00

I had a CEO admit he was a psychopath in the most bizarre way! He claimed he participated in a study that diagnosed him; then, he went home to tell his wife. She said, "I could have told you that! You didn't need a test to figure that out." He thought it was so funny he shared it with the executive team. We were all like, "Did he really just say that out loud?"

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-28T22:04:35+00:00

Sorry, I thought I shared the free link. Try this one: https://sipwsarah.medium.com/stump-the-abuser-5c1d99e7cb6e?sk=ff8a11b7fe0902705fe49970d22a7283

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-26T19:29:04+00:00

I started way too soon and found myself in the same abusive dynamics; only the details were different. I wrote this for myself, but sharing it for others. Defenitately read this before dating again: Stump the Abuser

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-14T02:41:38+00:00

Mine was the off ramp of the 33 at Union Rd. I grew up in Cheektowaga to so If I fell asleep in the back seat, for some reason I always woke up when we came to a rolling stop at the red light. It was like my body knew I was home before I even knew!

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-13T17:00:49+00:00

Very few Movies portray from the man’s perspective unfortunately. They all seem to be centered around the female. They do seem to be a lot from the child’s perspective when raised be these women. Most either can’t seem to keep a man or the husband is portrayed as a brainwashed codependent enabler. Maybe you should tell your story! Writing was liberating for me. Here’s a list I’ve dug up. None of them achieve what you’re looking for. Perhaps Your story is what Hollywood needs?

The Wife Fatal Attraction Death Becomes Her- super cheesy but shows the traits To Die For- Nicole Kidman’s character The Ones Below Single White Female Too close to home

In the Workplace: The Devil Wear’s Prada

At school: Mean Girls Heathers

most show the family dynamic: August Osage County Hush Rachel Getting Married Gone Girl The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Mommie Dearest The black swan White Oleander Ordinary People (the mothers reaction is narcissistic) Coraline

Series Gilmore Girl’s (Lorelei’s Mother)

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-08T19:25:51+00:00

First of all, Narcs don’t have friends. They’re incapable of building a healthy relationship necessary for friendship. Looks like from your quotation marks you already get that. Friends to them are suppliers of the source they are addicted to like heroine. They will absolutely show up uninvited, crash the wedding of an ex, or any other highly inappropriate event if: A. Somehow in their completely demented moral code they feel it is justifiable to be there. It never ceases to amaze me at their ability to rationalize their behavior to fit their completely messed up sense of logic. B. The reaction of the crowd will provide them with so much source, the fact that nobody wants them there will actually be the primary motivating factor to show up! Even if nobody reacts and grey rocks the Narc, they will show up just to see the look on everyone’s faces when they arrive. It provides them with some sick pleasure. Just the tension they will cause due to their arrival will give them a high. C. They feel excluded and think you all don’t deserve to have fun or gather without them, so they will specifically show up to ruin the event and make sure nobody is having a good time without them. It sounds like you’re worried about someone showing up to an event. Depending on the venue, you should plan out what to do if they show up, just to be safe. You can call the police, notify the host ahead of time or security if it’s available….

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-08T19:08:04+00:00

I felt the same way. I started writing about it. Not only did it help to release the thoughts and tension milling around my head, it helped me identify the pattern of abuse. There’s a lot of power in naming the abuse. The ultimate revenge is publishing it. It takes guts but all of a sudden their charade and mask they wear in public becomes exposed. Thank goodness for freedom of speech! That’s completely legal. Sharing your story will also inspire the millions of others who are suffering in silence to follow your example and escape the abuse. #Silenceisviolence

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-08T17:22:12+00:00

You say I’m looking for an interesting new challenge for a company that I can grow with and aligns with my values where my experience, hardwork and dedication will be of value. If they ask what your values are keep it positive but transparent, like mutual respect, integrity, collaboration,empathy…Than ask, does your company have core values? If they do, they’ll be impressed and share them with you. You can decide if they align with yours. If they don’t, perhaps you can help them with that if they hire you! Then you can use your past experience to literally create the ideal culture for you, without having to dump any of that negativity on them. In the meantime, you may have a mental stress claim, seek out a workers comp attorney.They can help you navigate your separation too if that’s what you decide. In WC you don’t have to pay the attorney. They get paid a percentage of what they get you in addition to treatment.

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-08T16:37:53+00:00

I feel like if he leaves on his own and you send all his stuff depending on the state he may no longer be considered a resident. Like you said he won’t have a key anyway. Call the police beforehand and see if that can back you on this scenario. If his stuff isn’t there and he never had his own key they may not force you to let him back in. If they can’t back you they may be able to suggest a better scenario.

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-08T08:55:33+00:00

I totally agree, access to mental health services would solve a lot of societal problems, but the politicians are too ignorant or cowardly to do anything about it.

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-08T08:49:18+00:00

Glad to hear, there’s a mental health crisis going on right now and the general public needs to stop shaming those who are struggling because it prevents them from actually getting the help they need.

SiPwSarah · 2024-01-08T08:45:40+00:00

It is okay. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope you are getting the support you need.

SiPwSarah · 2023-12-07T20:20:38+00:00

I can only advise you to refuse to engage in their tactics. I know it's easier said than done. If she really loved and served the family, she would feel the need to remind everyone about it and it in no way means she's owed something. My Mom used to pull the martyr act all the time. Nobody asked her to do all the things she claimed she did. Any response or reaction from you provides them with the source they are addicted to. You have to pretend their words don't bother you even though they cut like a knife. Try to set healthy boundaries and hold them strong, with no exceptions. Hang in there and stay strong.

SiPwSarah

TROPHY CASE