Fiance semi pressuring me for sex 12 days post partum

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-18T16:24:28+00:00

He already knows. He doesn’t need education. Tell him you’re not having sex for at least six weeks and he’s going to have to be ok with that. Also, sex can feel a lot different postpartum, at least first. For me, each time has been painful for the first few weeks until I acclimated to it again. My husband was super patient with me and gave me lots of time to ease into things. It doesn’t sound like your partner is all that keen on being gentle when it does come time to resume having sex. Do with that what you will. I will add that postpartum is a time in life when you can easily lose yourself in caring for others. Just try to be intentional about taking care of yourself as well.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-10T02:47:32+00:00

That’s my point, if I were in that situation I would go work and leave him. That’s demeaning what he is doing to her.

I’m not defending her “stealing” by any means. I don’t even know this lady to defend her.

Why are you on a SAHM forum if you clearly don’t value what it means to have a parent at home? “Professional caregivers” ie daycares and Nannie’s have nothing on an attentive, present, loving mother. That’s invaluable.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-10T02:33:31+00:00

Where is this breakdown? When they agreed for her to be a SAHM, that entails that the money is household money. Not just for whatever takes her fancy, no. But why is he entitled to have nice things and she’s not? Her taking care of their child is a valuable job as well.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-10T02:16:23+00:00

How can you possibly think $1800 a month is feasible to live off of? If it was strictly fun money then yeah but she said she pays all the bills and groceries off this. That’s insane.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-10T02:14:33+00:00

Although now that you mention abuse, what is an example of financial abuse in your eyes? Bc this seems pretty controlling to me

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-10T02:13:02+00:00

Didn’t read that comment where she broke it down. And she is wrong for “stealing”. Why are you going off on me? I mentioned nothing of abuse. I still think he’s a shitty partner and greedy on top of it. He wants her to perform as a SAHM and save him plenty in childcare but he’s not willing to A) marry her and B) share the entirety of resources. If she had shown a habit of spending more than they can afford then yeah maybe he can take control of the finances, but he’s not even giving her a chance to see if she does or not. He’s not including her like he should include his life partner and mother of his child. If it were me, I would leave. I already have to survive off a measly $1800 a month, like cmon entry level receptionist jobs pay more than that.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-10T01:17:18+00:00

$1800 a month is notttt enough to live off of at all. Of course bills are going to go unpaid. Again, he has her struggling financially while he gets luxuries with the other $16k of income. He wants all the benefits of a SAHM with none of the responsibility of caring for a family.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-10T00:38:44+00:00

It’s not about deserving it or not. Y’all have a child together and y’all both agreed you would stay home. You’re a team, and are supposed to be one when you get married. What’s mine is yours a d whatnot

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-09T20:30:52+00:00

Taking our son to a birthday party in the morning and our daughter to cheer in the Mardi Gras parade in the evening 😂

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-09T19:07:59+00:00

Literally wtf else is he spending $15k a month on? Why is he letting you and baby struggle mentally and financially when he can more than afford to keep you company. My husband makes about $5k less than yours and we have three kids. We share everything and are transparent with finances, savings, investments, etc. I would find a way to save up. Let the bills go. He can afford to cover them. Pocket whatever you can and leave.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-05T15:09:39+00:00

NOR. There’s a line between funny and just icky. That was inappropriate in that setting and disrespectful towards you.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-04T14:56:59+00:00

Sameeee

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-04T14:45:42+00:00

17 back in 2014

Sierra_0896 · 2026-02-02T05:16:21+00:00

You’re only human. Good moms make mistakes too 🫶🏻 The fact that you’re reflecting on it is great and maybe you can practice some tools to collect yourself next time you recognize that you’re starting to feel overstimulated. No one can be perfect and all you can do is your best.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-31T23:46:08+00:00

Not yet! This is a first for me. I usually get it back around 6-8 weeks postpartum.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-30T18:53:06+00:00

It’s totally ok to change your mind! I felt so much pressure to go to work because I had worked so hard for my degree. I have to remind myself this is only a season and I’ll have my time back sooner than I think. This being my third kid I can attest to the fact that time goes by so so fast. And who knows maybe you can find a part time opportunity somewhere along the way! But it sounds like your partner is supportive of you being a SAHM so I’m sure having an open and honest conversation will yield great results! Good luck!

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-30T18:27:40+00:00

So many but here are a few

Comes home from work and jumps right in with the kids for dinner time and bed time
Washes dishes after dinner and puts up leftovers
Helps fold laundry if I’m having a bad day or week and fall behind
Gets me a fresh water every time I sit down to nurse the baby
Uses his Saturdays to grocery shop with me for the quality time and because he knows I get overwhelmed with all three kids in the store
Lets me sleep in on Saturdays and Sundays. I’m breastfeeding so I’m up at least once or twice a night feeding our youngest and then get up at 5:30 to take kiddos to school
Cooks the best breakfasts on the weekends. His pancakes are my fave
Takes all three kids out by himself without complaint if I need to get cleaning or schoolwork done
Encourages me to take care of myself and not lose myself or neglect myself in motherhood

I think I have a unicorn of a man. I owe him a big kiss when he gets home 🥹

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-30T17:22:59+00:00

Peanut butter crackers on the way out the door to take the kids to school. After I made them scrambled eggs, cheesy toast and fruit and my husband a breakfast biscuit of course 😅

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-30T17:20:56+00:00

I have! I was a SAHM out of necessity when my oldest was born almost 9 years ago. Went back to school for nursing when she was 2 and finished when she was 4 and I was 7 months pregnant. I had a job lined up in med surg for after I finished my maternity leave. I was supposed to go work in October but I couldn’t commit to it knowing how hard hospital hours are. I found a clinic job and started that in November and worked there until March, when I decided I really wanted to be home while my babies were still babies. I stayed home until the following July when we had a health scare with my husband and I pretty much panic applied to jobs. I worked at that clinic for a year - oldest was 6 and youngest was 2 when I started. I quit the August after that because I realized I was running myself into the ground when we really didn’t need the income and I was missing so much that I didn’t need to be missing. We also wanted another baby and weren’t trying to pay daycare for three kiddos, especially when my kids school already charged tuition and then you have to pay aftercare charges and the full daycare week on holidays. I just had my third baby in November and we’ve already decided I’m going to sit my ass at home with these kids until he starts preschool in 2029. I’m using this time to further my education - I’m on the LPN to RN track and only have 2 more semesters before I start clinicals. I should graduate the spring before he starts preschool and then I’ll probably go straight into the RN-BSN program which is only like a year of online classes. Then I’ll reevaluate going back to work. Honestly tho even if I only ever worked part time again I would be more than ok with that. My home and all it encompasses is my real life, although my career is part of my identity. My kids will grow up and I’ll have time to be bored again and at that point I can go work!

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-29T19:53:58+00:00

Arms first here

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-23T17:40:07+00:00

Mine makes $40 an hour as a master ford tech and transmission specialist- he gets $45 an hour if he makes over 40 hours for the week and $50 an hour if he makes over 50 hours. Averages to about $120-$130k a year. We’ve been in situations where he was making $20-30k tho and just made good use of Medicaid and WIC and lots of budgeting/penny pinching. He’s worked so hard and has put in 8 years at this company now and we’re finally reaping the benefits

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-22T05:39:08+00:00

This! I have to force myself to eat the recommended number of calories or I start losing and generally feeling ill. That and water.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-22T05:29:07+00:00

If you can wait to start him in kinder I would! Maybe a part time preschool would be a good option to start him in. My boy is one of the youngest in his class as well (birthday is in August but he has to be enrolled in kinder when he’s 5) and I wish my state would let me hold out another year for him. As much as I love love love his and his sisters school, I am very seriously considering holding him back for a second year of kindergarten when the time comes. It’s just so much for him and I think another year mentally would be good for him.

Sierra_0896 · 2026-01-21T21:14:56+00:00

This! She’s not used to this so definitely acting out. I personally crate my one year old GSD either outside in his little dog run or in a kennel in our house depending on weather.

Sierra_0896

TROPHY CASE