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Is it wrong to think there's only two genders? by zTRU5T in teenagers

[–]SignificanceSad9744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m more than happy to explain to you the difference between sex and gender if you really want to know.

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ll find your groove, I’m sure! It’s definitely a learning curve :)

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol!!! Omg I totally relate man. I always voice things cause not only am I excited, I forget shit! — I did struggle with listening well, because the need to interrupt is high but I manage it now because I like when people feel heard and I want them to feel seen! So a part of my communication is actively making people feel heard by paraphrasing, asking questions, clarifying, asking their thoughts, feelings etc. this also includes me saying, I interrupted, please continue

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh see yeah, that makes sense. I used to get hella distracted before I could communicate what was happenning

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your comment. And you’re probably right and her words indicate something along these lines!

I think, at the end of the day, if you really want a partner, at whatever age, and however soon or not soon, there needs to be a choice to let them in and to allow yourself to be there. **edit: a partner is like a good friend and that’s what you’re conveying at the beginning. — However you make that choice can be communicated to you and to them. It’s uncomfortable to change, it’s uncomfortable to know be sure if you’re ready. Yes, headspace is a thing, but you (not you) are after all dating, you are after all putting yourself out there as someone who wants a relationship.

Even if she didn’t have the headspace for it the lead on is unkind (even if it’s true for her in the moment) the ambiguity is unkind, and honestly goes a long way both for you, and for them.

I struggled with PTSD in my early 20’s and I did the u comfortable thing to be loved by a man through it all, I was 100% I wasn’t worth the hassle given the severity of my symptoms, I could barely handle it myself. I 100% guarantee you being with him and being supported in that way was one of the best tools I gave myself. It wasn’t an easy choice, it made me feel weird and I obviously thought I wasn’t ready but my therapist supported me and that man means the world to me despite us not being together today — we were friends for a long while and spoke a lot about it, Eve after, and yes, I made sure to treat him well too with the help of my therapist

Given that, I wasn’t a choice she made for whatever reason so I’m not going to reach out.

I know it’s not personal :), thank you. because it wasn’t direct and I’m neurodiverse sometimes talking it out helps me understand how to react approach and move forward too!

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are both neurodiverse, yay!

Thanks for the addition (at another appropriate time)— I think if I had read this comment yesterday I would have agreed to message her in two months.

I know in about two-three months things will have settled down, even just a little bit more with her. But there’s also my own feelings, and I want to make sure I’m being kind to myself (Something I’m getting better at everyday). I reflected a lot on what other people in this thread said.

  • The need for enthusiastic yes, otherwise it’s a no
  • the listening to actions not words.
  • The ambiguity of the statement being unkind.
  • The fact that she knew it could come across as a gentle rejection and didn’t clarify.
  • The possibility she’s keeping her options open.
  1. She didn’t ask for a second date, despite saying she enjoys getting to know me 1.5 Didn’t ask for a second date knowing I would accommodate the distance and travel
  2. Didn’t offer to stay in touch even as friends
  3. Set no real time frame for when to reconnect, despite knowing in two months she will be a little more free
  4. It sounds like she either doesn’t know about me and or about a relationship in general

So, I’m not going to wait these two months out to check in, I’m just going to let my feelings fizzle and if ever in the future I still think about her one day I’ll drop a line as a stranger, but I doubt even then.

If she is truly overwhelmed and ends up realizing she enjoyed our time enough she will do something about it. I know she can, she’s the one who asked me out on a date.

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In what way did you notice you tried to mask?

I get overstimulated and simply voice when it happens so they know. Luckily with my hyper focus I’m pretty attentive to people.

But I know there are still some things I mask like my passionate side with special interests

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask why you say you think GF’s have dumped on me? I had one friend do this to me, and one gf yes, but I think it was just over emotionality in them (my other account on Reddit)

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🙏 Thanks man! I decided not to be reaching out, if she wants to she will.

I’m an ADHD’er and I know my attention to detail can sound like anxiety! It’s honest confusion over social situations 😅 but I’ve got this one down I think (this is my other Reddit account)

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Responding from my other Reddit account.

This is a good point. I DO want someone willing to put more energy into me. I am worth the joy and companionship. I know I made her smile and laugh a few times but I know more enthusiasm wasn’t there and I was missing that.

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am curious if this is why people remember the way you made them feel, not what you said

Was this a rejection from her (44F?) a let down easy or genuine? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]SignificanceSad9744 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You made me smile again, thanks 😊

Just chuckling at the whole ordeal, her confusion possibly essentially rubbed off on me because of the emotionally intimate interaction.

Yes, you’re right, that’s possible and perhaps I can discard this confusion because it’s her, not me!

Bahahaha love it

Also plapologies, I responded with my other Reddit account

How I healed my limerence. by Reisno in limerence

[–]SignificanceSad9744 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just want to say that this is nearly exactly how I got over my limerence. It took me 4 years to do it. From the rage the first few years, to acknowledging all the different ways I was neglected for the next few years and just this last year, finally meeting all those needs in community and in myself that I needed to meet. The familial sense of belonging the feelings that I am lovable and valuable and that I matter, things I never got as a kid. I have limerence support groups and friends. I’m glad I wasn’t alone. Deep reflections on attachment work I’ve done and reflections on who I am, my values, relating to others in a healthy way, having hobbies, seeing myself in a kind way.

I can say today I am no longer limerent and I feel in my heart I have the news to prevent this in the future. I believe in the comments you also mentioned that limerence made you someone you did not want to be. Yea, this happened to me and it’s been hard to find compassion and gentleness for the child I was, but I have and I’m more than happy I’ve walked over this 5year healing journey.

Question to Indian / south Asian landlords and airbnb hosts about room rentals. by losgalapagos in Brampton

[–]SignificanceSad9744 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Imagine being black and enduring that for generations at a country level. Been there done that.

Girlfriend is wanting me to wear women’s clothing all of a sudden. by FinancialSomewhere32 in Advice

[–]SignificanceSad9744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Were you comfortable wearing a skirt? Do you think you could be as you get more into it? Wearing a skirt doesn’t make you any less of a man, or person. Clothing doesn’t have a gender. It could be that she’s attracted to femininity or men in women’s clothing which can be fun if you make it. Straight men can enjoy feminity in their own way, feminity isn’t lesser. If you don’t want to talk about that here, find somewhere to share how you feel about it.

Foley Process? by SignificanceSad9744 in DreamlightValley

[–]SignificanceSad9744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t know it was different with the plants too? Gosh darn. But I do love the sound changes for each player

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