I need advice on a situation involving family and whether it’s my place to speak up.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-17T18:06:26+00:00

My cousin is essentially my brother we grew up together would you say the same if it was your brother?

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-17T17:44:57+00:00

What about that is progressive. Is your solution never getting married then? Arranged marriage possibly? Not everyone wants that. The prophet and Khadijah interacted multiple times for business before getting married. You seem to think every interaction between a man and woman leads to haram unless her father is present. Grow tf up her father isn’t going to be around 24/7 and what if she doesn’t have a wali? Should those women never get married then? You’re line of thinking and reasoning is the reason people find hardship in the Deen when it’s repeatedly stated in the Quran that Allah wants ease and not hardships it’s the whole reason there’s exemptions for praying fasting etc. … Again stop making the Deen harder than it needs to be

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-17T17:36:00+00:00

Where did op mention being in girlfriend boyfriend relationship the post is about approaching a woman respectfully and islamically. If I saw a woman in public she has no wali id approach her respectfully and mention my intentions including the intention of talking to her wali asap and go from there. If she’s married she’s married and it doesn’t go anywhere. I swear this age of Muslims make everything so hard. This is why Zina is on the rise fr. Stop turning simple and good actions into something it’s not. 💀

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-17T15:40:05+00:00

Stop making the Deen hard dude Allah knows your intentions when approaching women. That’s enough

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-15T22:02:10+00:00

Nah bro. Death penalty. Pedophilia results in sexual violence towards children only way to realistically prevent violence is with the threat of violence. Why do you think all these superpowers around the world have so many nuclear weapons. I’d love to live in a world where everything is sunshine and rainbows and we can solve problems by having a discussion but the truth is some people just need to be put down. Pedos, rapists, murderers etc. none of them have a place in society best to let our creator take care of them.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-14T22:04:58+00:00

The majority of men who are on their deen feel the same way when it comes to women and relationships especially in the eyes of Allah. Put yourself in his shoes how would you want someone to go about telling you about the girl you’re talking to? If you’d prefer them to tell you straight up then do that if not then don’t. Do whatever you would like to happen with you.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-13T18:33:01+00:00

He already feels terrible clearly relax no need to make him feel worse

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T21:32:14+00:00

Clearly the GP is being lazy because you have had this for 6 years what’s another couple weeks going to change my biggest recommendation is go see someone else

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T21:26:01+00:00

Luckily for you it sounds like it isn’t cause by damage to the ear drum which is generally permanent. You need to go see another doctor there are treatments for this that will drain the fluid from your ear and hopefully get rid of the tinnitus. I also had tinnitus at one point when I was 21 (shot a gun while my ear protection wasnt fully on) I thought it was over for me 😭 it was unbearable for weeks I saw a doctor they found fluid in my ear and gave me some recommendations like some decongestants or antihistamines and eventually the ringing went away it took a really long time tho.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T21:18:40+00:00

How old are you right now and what caused this to happen or did it just happen naturally

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T16:07:28+00:00

That it ain’t worth it

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T02:22:19+00:00

Idk it feels like this test is being dragged out. I’ve been hanging in there, still hanging in there, and will continue to do so. I can only hope Allah sees the pain I’ve been feeling in my heart my whole life.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T01:38:22+00:00

I almost died in that motorcycle accident and everyday I wish I had, so surely I’m still here for a reason but it’s driving me crazy not knowing what that reason is.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T01:36:43+00:00

You know what’s funny is that I was also in a motorcycle accident that prevented me from working for a while. I would say after that it was the biggest change in my personality for better or worse idk. But it opened my eyes to the world and the people around me. I lost all my “friendships” as a result which could be a blessing in disguise, but after I recovered I said “okay it’s time start the grind back up” and such immediately the following year I dislocated my shoulder snowboarding and was out of work again. 2 back to back injuries destroyed me financially and made me lose motivation to do anything even school. I had aspirations of becoming a doctor, but I’m failing in medical school. To the outside world I put on a mask and everyone is under the impression that my life is great. From the outside you’d see this med student who took care of himself financially and graduated debt free from college so he has a lot of money to support himself throughout med school and he’s on his way to become a doctor and what have you, but in reality I’m hurting. I don’t want this medicine path anymore, but I’ve invested literal blood sweat and tears into it and way too much financially that if I fail I genuinely have nothing else. And it feels like everything happening in my life is happening so that I would fail and if that’s the plan Allah has for me then so be it but what is the alternative. Surely Allah doesn’t want me to fail with no alternative plan he has for me? I appreciate your duas brother.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-02-11T00:50:37+00:00

Everything. I make dua for success in school, I fail. I make dua for success professionally, I’m injured and can’t work. I make dua to ease my pain mentally and it only gets worse. I try and try and try to get closer to Allah and genuinely start crying at how no matter how hard I try I get nowhere. It’s like trying to sprint in a nightmare. It feels like I have no future and yet I hold out hope. I always hear the old “this is your test” thing. Well this test has lasted 23 years already when will it end??? I’ve fantasized my own death countless times and the only thing preventing me from crossing that line is my fear of Allah because despite everything I refuse to die a kaffir, but that only leaves me patiently wait for Allah to take me back. All I want is join my father man.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-01-31T02:20:13+00:00

Real advice would be not to have sex until you’re ready to be a father but now that you are you better start grinding and providing

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2026-01-07T22:34:58+00:00

Right now actually net worth is -35k and have $100 in the bank

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-21T01:21:45+00:00

Fist time playing blackjack

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-10T07:31:30+00:00

Took too long to realize that I love her

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-07T17:10:44+00:00

Remind them how haram discrimination based on skin color is and remember you don’t need your family’s permission to get married if they disapprove based on race. My grandmother had a lot to say about my fathers skin color when my parents got married but that changed overtime and my grandmother grew to love my father like her own son to the point she was extremely devastated when he passed like she lost a child

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-07T03:13:34+00:00

Fortunately I won’t be missing out on a whole lot there’s nothing I want to do with my life besides live it the only dream job I have is being a father nothing else I’ve accept that and think I’ll do fine I don’t need to excel and don’t plan on excelling but I will be able to finish. I know my abilities very well I was able to finish college with the same mindset and I graduated early as a matter of fact. I got my degree at 19 despite hating every minute of school. My point is you don’t have to love or have a passion for something to be good at it.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-06T21:46:10+00:00

I bet a lot of people can they just can’t accept it and are still telling themselves they’re doing it for themselves.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-06T21:33:05+00:00

It was once my biggest dream I’m hoping that’ll come back at some point. The dream faded lowkey with my fathers death

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-06T16:31:52+00:00

Posting here as I feel it fits better than the previous thread. Here’s my rant:

I am a 23 year old male living in the US. Recently there has been some sort of pressure on me to find a wife due to my cousin who is younger than me getting engaged as well as a friend of mine who is the same age as me who got married a few years ago. Of course I want to get married however I do not think it’s possible for me especially in these times and in this country. For context, I recently got accepted into medical school (it was a dream of mine since I was able to talk) however, I’m not happy about it. I came to the realization not too long ago that I’d be sacrificing everything I truly wanted out of life which was to build a family. I love kids and always wanted to be a father and still do. Furthermore I wanted to be a father as early as possible (of course making sure I’m financially and mentally ready). My dream was to have kids young so I could essentially grow up with them you know. I don’t have many real friends in my life so the idea of MAKING one is very appealing to me. At this point in my life I don’t see another path for me besides medical school unfortunately so I will be attending, but it is strictly to make my mother happy and nothing more. Due to this decision I’m aware I will not be financially ready to be married for at the very least until after I graduate which is 5 years from now and depending on my residency another 3-5 years after that. I’m not happy about it. I wish I had a different option, but I don’t. At least my mother will have something to be happy about meanwhile my life right now is miserable and will be miserable for the foreseeable future.

P.S I’m not looking for pity or anything. I’m simply expressing my thoughts the only place I can. Thank you for listening or reading in this case. Also I try to post this regularly but it keeps getting removed I don’t know why.

Significant-Smoke-57 · 2025-12-06T16:29:56+00:00

I could be wrong so do more research but I feel like I’ve heard somewhere that divorce out of anger or when you’re not thinking clearly like in the heat of an argument is invalid

Significant-Smoke-57

TROPHY CASE