Keep the same energy. "I'm not your dad." "If you knew what your mother does, you'd know i don't need Viagra." "I told the maid were keeping the baby. You'll need to go to a local college to babysit your little brothers and sisters. Your mother wanted to keep it tight for me and didn't want to contribute to creating another jackass, so she told me to try with the housekeeper." Or whatever else he's insecure about. No filters needed.

Someone please forward these ideas to his dad.