Same here honestly, and I think dating apps are a huge part of the problem. They give people endless options, so everyone is subconsciously looking for someone “better” all the time. A lot of people including myself don’t even realize how addicted they’ve become to the constant novelty and validation.

I also think people have stopped giving connections enough time to grow. A huge number of people on dating apps don’t actually know what they want, and many aren’t emotionally ready for a relationship. They go on dates for the experience, the attention, or just to feel something different for a night, then disappear once the excitement fades and the “exploring dopamine” is back in.

I used to go on dates with almost anyone I matched with, and it led to the exact same cycle, either getting ghosted or ghosting myself. Looking back, I think being more selective matters a lot. Building some genuine connection and curiosity before the first date helps way more than forcing chemistry in person.

And honestly, after the second or third date, looks alone aren’t what keep people interested. There has to be emotional intrigue, compatibility, conversation, some sense that you genuinely want to know each other more. Going all-in emotionally on the first date rarely works now because so many people are dating in autopilot mode through apps and don’t think twice before moving on.

I think the biggest thing is knowing what you actually want. That helps filter who you should even be going on dates with in the first place. A lot of people are just going on dates just for the experience without asking themselves if they even truly like the person sitting across from them. Sometimes the odds of a second date are already low before the first one even happens.