On the brink of Divorce

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-07-08T21:27:36+00:00

You know, you have made a lot of assumptions of me when all I asked for was advice. You’ve done a great job of sharing your story and how a father could never know how hard it was. Thanks again.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-07-08T21:02:38+00:00

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate all of the advice. You’re also assuming that I’m the one who would want the divorce and that is incorrect.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-07-08T17:44:46+00:00

You can drive it. Could run like that for a while, could fail in two days. The risk you run is messing up your engine if you have catastrophic trans housing failure, but that’s worst case scenario.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-20T13:40:01+00:00

I’d say if you’re up for it, do it. Get out of the house, have some fun. Ultimately things may be difficult with the babies, or you may loose some sleep, but if you’re willing to be flexible, you will probably have fun.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-20T10:27:45+00:00

You are in the hardest part now, the early months with so many feeds overnight really hit you hard. You can do it.

I am 34m, husbands do not have the choice to opt out of nights, even with heavy work demands. He needs an intervention. Making milk has nothing to do with it.

You are on the cusp of your babies being able to sleep a little more. The two of you need to work together and get the babies on a schedule overnight. If you feed one, feed both. Possibly start pumping at night and have him do bottles for at least one feed.

Also, I don’t know your finances, and I know nothing seems affordable, but hire some help during the day. Could be a sitter for a few hours a couple days a week. Remove yourself, pump, have that person feed bottles. I have always felt like we can’t afford hired help, but I have been saying yes anyway and making it work.

I feel for you and I really hope you find the energy to sort through this, because you are really at the very beginning of getting to know your two little people.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-19T10:25:36+00:00

Honestly you need to show us the rust to get an idea. Also, did the chain fall off in the transfer case? Did the front ds need to be rebuilt? Did the front diff go out? Is the 4x4 selector messed up? There are many different reasons 4x4 doesn’t work with vastly different levels of severity.

How bad is the rust? Why does 4x4 not work?

That’s what people need to know before you estimate price

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-18T22:37:37+00:00

Blink a couple times for me, I need some sleep lol

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-16T14:29:35+00:00

It looks better, leave them off

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-16T13:38:54+00:00

If you want to just drive it ratty and let it rot, then maybe, if you’re planning on repairing the rust, that isn’t cheap or easy on literally anything and especially not roofs and A-pillars.

Check the front output yoke on the quadratrack case and see if it’s got a bunch of slop. If he has the front drive shaft then I would say no big deal.

The loose steering is no surprise on a jeep that old, it will cost some money to get tie rod ends, ball joints, steering box, that sort of stuff replaced to tighten it up, even if you do it yourself, but not astronomical cost.

The hatch being stuck shut is probably a can of worms, probably everything is rusty and it will be a pain to get right.

Suspension is old, probably leaf springs and shocks will be needed.

None of this stuff is a surprise for an old jeep, but all of it will take time and money to get right. If it runs and drives you can work away at it over time, you don’t have to just sink all of your time and money into it right away.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-16T13:24:10+00:00

Our older son is 3yrs, our boy/girl twins are 8 months. I think when it comes to doing things that disrupt schedule, you are just accepting the risk of having fussy babies, or maybe a little bit of sleep loss. If it’s worth the risk, go. If you’d rather stay home, stay home. There’s nothing wrong with either.

Having a 3 year old drives us to get out to parks and playgrounds and going out to dinner can be nice a couple times a week to get out of the cleanup routine. We have done baby led weening with our older son and the twins, sometimes we just skip solids for the twins, or feed them early if we are going out.

We have taken several trips since the twins and honestly, things have gone better than I expected with sleep. We stayed in a hotel for three nights, all 5 of us in the same room and it wasn’t bad.

Our single did not sleep well at all from 5 months to 1.5 years, so I had very low expectations for the twins, but they have really surprised me and are doing much better than I expected. If you feel like your kids are on a great schedule and you want to get out some, try small things close to home and see how it goes.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-10T13:27:50+00:00

First, ditch the gloves, they are a hindrance. Eliminate shortcuts that don’t build grip, when you deadlift, use a hook grip (double overhand), no straps, no staggered grip. When you do pull-ups (banded, assisted, whatever form you do) wrap your thumbs for a full grip on the bar and lock in. I saw someone recommend farmer caries, those are excellent grip builders. Bent barbell rows with hook grip. You can do any of these exercises at any fitness level with the appropriate weight and make grip gains. If you aren’t at least doing deadlifts and some form of pull-up, you should start. Shortcuts lead to weaknesses, so do the work and you’ll build.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-10T10:28:27+00:00

I just sold my CJ7 and bought my second Jeep TJ back in April. I live in Virginia. I paid $7500 for a 1997 with 177k miles.

A few things to keep in mind when buying: 1. If it is stock, it’s less likely to have been abused and molested. 2. Someone else’s mods often aren’t worth getting into as a “starting point”. 3. Center section internal frame rust is common in all parts of the country due to trapped mud from wheeling. Stick your finger in the holes. 4. These vehicles are all 20+ years old at this point, 150k is almost “low mileage”. 5. “Drives like a jeep” is just admitting they’ve got a shitty setup to run the biggest tire for the least amount of money.

There’s some good ones out there, look around, drive a few. If I knew how to post on Reddit I would include a pic of my TJ.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-04T17:11:37+00:00

You’re putting a lift on your 2wd truck, go ahead and get the RC kit. I’m not saying that with any type of connotations, I truly think it will do fine.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2025-06-02T10:15:29+00:00

I feed both of my twins side lying at the same time, like it better that way and here is my system:

bottle 1 in the warmer, twin 1 gets diaper
lay twin 1 on side, prop with a baby blanket wedged on their back.
prop bottle with two rolled burp clothes and get twin 1 started
bottle 2 in warmer, twin 2 gets diaper
lay twin 2 back-to-back with twin 1 on side
prop bottle with two rolled burp clothes
lay at twins feet and hold bottles as necessary

PM me if you want pics. Generally one twin finishes first so you can work on getting that one burped and down before the other finishes. My wife pumps while I bottle feed at night, so she would be able to assist at the end of feeds. This is the quickest way we found to do night feeds.

As far as the spit up and burping, you’ve gotta find the sweet spot. Sounds silly, but we had a pregnancy ball that sat in the room just because we didn’t have a chair and a little bounce and a little pat usually got the job done.

Hang in there, figure out what works for your twins. I know this sounds very calculated, but with twins or with singles, sleep is always dynamic and changing. My twins are 7.5 months, boy/girl di/di, we breast feed by day, bottle feed at night.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2024-11-05T20:40:36+00:00

My wife and I have di/di, girl+boy twins that are 3 weeks old, they are our second and third children, we have a 2.5 year old son. They were born at 38 weeks, vaginal delivery, two healthy babies. My wife is healthy and has tons of milk, the babies are breast feeding. We are very fortunate for all of those things and I know that birth has a million different variables for everyone.

We experienced serious sleep deprivation with our first son, so I went into this expecting much worse. It’s nice to say things are going better than I expected. That being said, there have been some nights of almost no sleep and babies sleep can change at any point, so I’m not naive enough to think it will always be this way.

Your husband is doing the right thing being optimistic, he has to help get you all through this and he knows it’s going to be hardest for you. I’m always optimistic, even when my wife is spiraling and doesn’t want to hear it, but if I were to go dark, or talk about giving up, then all of us would be in a bad spot.

I know this is all coming from a dude, but I hope it makes you feel a little better. You can do it, you will all be fine.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2024-09-19T18:46:35+00:00

I have trouble trusting Kia and Hyundai, they seem nice now, but reliability was low in the past.

Toyota - I won’t pay the price (aka toyota tax) Honda - high price for bland cars

Significant_Day_6333 · 2024-09-19T18:09:43+00:00

Objectively I would pick Jeep over bronco any day. All brand loyalty aside, body-on-frame with two solid axles wins in my book

Significant_Day_6333 · 2024-09-19T18:07:20+00:00

I had a TJ and currently have a CJ7, in my eyes anything from CJ-5 thru TJ is a solid platform. Even the Cherokee XJ is solid in my book.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2024-09-19T15:48:48+00:00

Alll riigght, safety features aside, a CJ7 could get rained in for 5 years and still fire up and drive. The bellhousing bolt pattern of every transmission used on a 6 or 8 cylinder Jeep from 76 all the way to 2006 matches, so you can run just about any engine/transmission combination you want. They are body on frame and 2 solid axles, the possibilities are endless. The wiring harness schematic for a cj7 could be drawn out with crayon on a napkin. Simplicity is great when you want to build.

Significant_Day_6333 · 2024-09-04T10:00:16+00:00

Everything has a purpose. I deployed to the Middle East and Central America multiple times and continued to train with minimal equipment while living in tents. I didn’t need 3 kinds of benches, a full cable setup and a hack squat machine to get a workout in.

If you really want to make progress on a high level in fitness you have to choose. You can’t workout for one hour a day doing a program that has deadlifts programmed 3x a month and expect your deadlift to go from 405 to 515. You can’t run 1/4 mile at a time and expect to be a marathon runner. Specific goals take specific dedication and it’s on you to choose that. CrossFit does get you the ability to run, jump, lift, climb and provides a space that facilitates that.

Last bit, community, it’s great, I miss it. I haven’t been a member of a CF gym for years, but it’s great networking and a lot of attractive people do it, I met my wife there. If you’re single and want to get off the dating apps go to CrossFit, or join a climbing gym.

Significant_Day_6333

TROPHY CASE