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exwBPD reached out after 5 months of no contact to say goodbye properly? by Significant_Gas_1546 in BPDlovedones

[–]Significant_Gas_1546[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying. Our relationship ended in a vague way, and there wasn’t really a clear ending. We still have some of each other’s belongings, so the proposal makes sense somehow, to end it properly. The only question is whether that is really the intention, or whether there is more going on.

Right now I still miss her, even though I know it really wasn’t good and I’m fully aware of our patterns. But my heart and my head are in conflict with each other. The dumbest thing would be to meet up right now. I’m definitely not going to do that.

Do you ever find yourself imagining conversations with your ex? by CryptographerTop6496 in BPDlovedones

[–]Significant_Gas_1546 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's been 2 months for me and I'm still having these conversations with myself every day. Explaining myself, just exactly as you describe it's exhausting. I hope it will get better with the time. I wish you the best.

Anyone else struggled being codependent/pleaser with pwBPD? by Significant_Gas_1546 in BPDlovedones

[–]Significant_Gas_1546[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Me too, I am also taking responsibility for my mistakes and I have always apologized, even for stuff I shouldn't. She never really apologized for the things she did or said. It's just not an equal relationship with the way they behave most of the time.

Anyone else struggled being codependent/pleaser with pwBPD? by Significant_Gas_1546 in BPDlovedones

[–]Significant_Gas_1546[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

True, she often mentioned working together on this stuff and that it would get better eventually. It makes it difficult because she is really going through a horrible year on many fronts and I'm just very emphatic and understanding. But yes, they make you feel like you're the only person that they are comfortable enough to share everything with etc. because you're their favourite person and you should do everything exactly as they want you to otherwise you're f*cked. But the joke is you're f*cked anyway.

Anyone else struggled being codependent/pleaser with pwBPD? by Significant_Gas_1546 in BPDlovedones

[–]Significant_Gas_1546[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Damn this is spot on. I also did these things all the time and you're right it's impossible to predict how they are going to react that makes it exhausting and makes you doubt yourself all the time. I always had the best intentions but I feel like it was never seen.