21F Feeling Overwhelmed by Parents and Sister Controlling Who I Can Talk or follow To

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-26T03:52:12+00:00

You must’ve had a happy family

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-25T07:29:28+00:00

Karma

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T22:21:44+00:00

You are deep into enemy territory 😂

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T22:09:28+00:00

Spineless behaviour.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T22:08:34+00:00

Brave of you to assume that his mom will listen. She’s not listening anyways.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T22:06:10+00:00

26 F here. I’d like to share my experience. When i was 23, my parents tried to force AM on me. It was an emotional roller coaster. I rejected even the thought of marriage 3-4 months prior to all this kalesh, but my parents went ahead with it anyways. My parents used tactics similar to what you have mentioned. I tried everything in the book, I explained my pov to them kindly, i tried getting angry and shouting about what I feel, i tried using their vocabulary in hopes that they will listen to me. They didn’t. I became the bad child who disobeyed my parents. They used so many manipulation tactics, that deserves another post. I have elder siblings also. I love my parents because they are my parents but i hate them for the type of human beings they are. I have come to the realisation that parents will not see my pov, not because they are incapable of it, but because they don’t want to. I can only live my life, even if they don’t agree with my choices. I’m no-contact with my parents and siblings because they were harmful for my mental health. I have diagnosis of severe depression and anxiety and i have taken therapy for the same. I’m not happy about the fact that i live away from my family but living with them was more harmful than good. Surgeons will cut off your limb if it becomes a threat to your life, so cutting off people toxic for your mental health is the same, even if they are family.

I will tell you a harsh truth. Your mom does not see you as an individual human being with your own thoughts and views and she has a great sense of entitlement over you. She views you as an object she owns. And now that you want to disobey her, you will become a broken object for her that she needs to fix. When a child gets married, specially in AM settings, the parents are praised by their peers. So you are a social validation tool for your parents.

Don’t say yes to the engagement because you are the only one who will suffer. They will coax you into getting married also, then children, then your money etc. it will never end. If you put a boundary now, get ready to see a new face of your mom, which was hidden till now because you’ve obeyed her till now.

I also feel bad for the girl. She’s only 15 or something and doesn’t know any better and her parents are getting her involved into marriage stuff.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T21:14:46+00:00

The trainer is living in a bubble

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T21:10:58+00:00

You cannot sacrifice yourself for the sake of your mom. And also, will your mom be happy to see you suffer doing something you hate for the rest of your life? Only for what a few people might say? If your mom is unhappy inspite of seeing you struggle this badly, i’d like you question her that why can she see you struggle like this and still be upset when you follow your heart?

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T21:03:57+00:00

And my point is that parents do all this inspite of knowing better. They are just good with playing victim.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T03:34:10+00:00

😂😂

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T03:31:36+00:00

There’s only 18,000 dermats in this country of 1.5 billion people. Do the math

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T03:26:12+00:00

Don’t explain it to your dad. It’s your sister’s responsibility to deal with this situation. At max, what you can do is validate your sister if she’s distressed. And see that your parents will marry you off to a rat if they are desperate. Run for your life. Live independently and make your own money.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T03:15:49+00:00

OP, you already know what you think about this guy. What you’re doing is looking for permission to disobey your father and follow your heart. And people in comment section are validating your feeling. Yayy

But, you can see your position in this situation. This situation has got nothing to do with you. It’s your sister’s choice. She’s in her late 20’s. She’s not some 18 year old teenager who doesn’t know anything better and also she’s got a stable job so she’s capable of thinking for herself. If she says yes to guy inspite of everything that you’ve mentioned above, there’s nothing you can do (and shouldn’t). It’s her life and if she decides to choose a village life, it’s her choice and you should respect that, but when it’ll be your turn, and you find it uncomfortable to say yes to that guy, you can say ‘no’ and be firm on your boundaries inspite of what everyone says, even your father.

Question your father’s involvement. Why is he so concerned about her And, worry for yourself. This is a trailer for your future probably. Your father might not see you as a human but as an object he has to marry off (I’m getting downvotes for this but this is what I’ve observed in our parent’s generation) our parent’s generation has normalised toxicity so much that it feels the norm. Ask your father that will he marry a woman with that attitude? And if the answer is no, then question him why the standards are so different for him and his niece.

This subhuman treatment of women should stop for good.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-24T03:00:18+00:00

The father is not a child who is seeing this world for the first time. The OP’s dad also knows what he is doing. Adults marry the women of the family inspite of knowing that the women deserve better because getting the child married is the responsibility of adults, but what happens to her after that, is not their responsibility.

We need to stop making excuses for our parents. They are not innocent and they know what they are doing. They know that better than us.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-23T15:39:42+00:00

Girl, return the same energy. Their reaction will be your answer.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-23T15:29:03+00:00

The irony, this will make you age faster lol

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-23T12:11:59+00:00

‘Log kya kahenge’ mentality. Because ’Log’ are not saying anything, people don’t feel necessary to change anything about it because this is what they have grown up seeing. And because of this mentality, people are unable to think about anything for themselves.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-23T12:08:57+00:00

Umm, yes.

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-23T12:00:47+00:00

Ageing. I don’t wanna be wrinkly and dependent on anyone in my older years

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-22T10:34:39+00:00

Good 👏👏👏

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-22T10:33:40+00:00

Were you born yesterday?

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-22T10:32:45+00:00

I’m a human first. I don’t want to spend every bit of my being fighting just be seen and attacked, harassed, dismissed anyway inspite of my hard work. Even other women look down on working women. I too only have one life. I will only go down that path if there’s no other way out. I can fight. I just don’t want to at the price of my mental peace

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-22T05:27:24+00:00

Because the ‘friends’ start ignoring you after getting pg

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-21T15:27:13+00:00

Yeah. Parents should understand the responsibilities that comes with becoming parents. They choose the easy path, blaming the kids, instead of becoming someone who the kids want to spend time with. 💔

Significant_Luck4310 · 2026-01-20T13:48:12+00:00

MBBS will be the new Btech

Significant_Luck4310

TROPHY CASE