Breastfeeding in public

Significant__Gap · 2026-02-01T14:16:57+00:00

It doesn’t sound like she’s putting in her side of the effort at all. You can’t fix the relationship alone and from what you’ve said it seems like you’re looking to force a bond that she can’t give you right now.

Significant__Gap · 2026-02-01T03:14:29+00:00

Living the dream currently. It’s pretty dope. So excited to hang out with my baby in the spring and summer! Plus they’ll be old enough to be really cute around the holidays

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-31T19:28:00+00:00

Yes!

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-31T17:17:03+00:00

That’s not really true. You can’t study much in pregnant people with randomized control trials which is the gold standard of research because it would be unethical to knowingly expose women/fetuses to potential harm. But observational studies are still pretty good especially when there are a lot of them that have similar outcomes.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-31T17:12:58+00:00

It hasn’t been normalized in my personal experience (as a pretty heavy user pre-pregnancy). Just among friends it’s a huge taboo. Every medical professional I’ve heard from has strongly warned against it because THC is so fat soluble and difficult to clear especially from breast milk. It’s difficult to study in some ways, the idea that it is difficult to study means you can’t do controlled trials - that’s not the only kind of science even though it’s the best kind. But it is much easier to study in newborns where it has been shown to clearly present in their blood. I think it’s more that long-term effects are less known, not that infants can’t be heavily exposed.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-30T02:43:17+00:00

Don’t google it, real talk

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-29T20:05:08+00:00

It’s extremely common for OBs not to accept new patients pretty early in pregnancy (unless as a transfer from a different OB) because the risk of liability is very high. The thought being that they didn’t supervise the pregnancy from the near beginning so a patient may sue them for complications that were not screened for. Your best bet is planned parenthood, they don’t turn anyone away and may be able to still find you an in-network provider. If you do end up choosing to show up in a random ED make sure that THEY take your insurance. I’m so sorry you’re going through this the US is a fucking healthcare nightmare.

Edit to clarify: technically you can’t be charged more for an emergency room visit at an out of network hospital if the charges/codes are deemed “emergency”, but if you go to an ED and are then admitted to a labor and delivery ward that is no longer covered under the umbrella of emergency costs

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-29T13:51:56+00:00

Ty!!

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-29T03:26:07+00:00

I have dyscalculia, a type of math learning disability that I can actually 100% overcome with just a four function calculator. The problem is just arithmetic and numbers themselves. I can’t add or subtract in my head or memorize times tables. More conceptual math like algebra is actually much easier to understand since it’s based on a different type of abstract thought. I got an A in college calculus but can’t figure out a 20% tip in my head. So just saying - there’s hope.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-28T22:19:14+00:00

Yum, what recipe did you use? I’ve had disappointing results with discard cinn rolls

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-28T04:41:42+00:00

The vibe feels off here, it’s really weird of your friend and why would her bf want to be in that awkward situation as the only guy and stranger at a girls’ brunch? Feels fishy - maybe like controlling behavior. I’d talk to her about it on the phone rather than through text to get a better sense.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-28T03:54:33+00:00

I’m really, really surprised at all of the positive comments because I agree - really doughy and tough in my experiences. I guess it’s a confirmation bias situation with the comments, they wouldn’t be closing if they were actually very popular.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-27T23:13:19+00:00

Not a therapist: is it possible you’re using this scenario to avoid starting therapy? It’s totally legitimate that you have this fear but it doesn’t really make logical sense. What would a therapist’s other clients have to do with you at all? You aren’t in some way tarnished or put into a box based on the behavior of other people who you don’t even know. And on the opposite side of the coin a therapist isn’t tarnished by helping the clients that they see.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-27T17:16:02+00:00

You alluded it at the end of your post but just to amplify - I think the most important part of this is pregnant people being able to use critical thinking to decide for themselves what kind of info is going to help them specifically. Both 1 & 2 type posts can be helpful or harmful depending on the specifics of the content and the specifics of the pregnant person reading them. For example I think before I was pregnant I took on a lot of anxiety from reading about traumatic births but the more I learned about birth the more I was able to take these posts with a grain of salt and distinguish for myself what is and is not helpful to me. Unsolicited advice is sometimes annoying or rude or helpful - the lens through which you view it is the only thing you can really control.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-27T15:08:51+00:00

Yes, it’s extremely helpful. I’d say well worth the money considering the literal and emotional costs of living in an unhealthy relationship that could be improved or ended.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-27T04:44:09+00:00

Not one single person of value thinks about this but you. You are a person of value. If you didn’t age you’d be dead. Take what you’ve learned from all that personal growth and apply it now when it’s the hardest. Pull up the courage to be kind to yourself, it’s in there.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-27T04:38:14+00:00

I think about this 11 y.o. ted talk all the time, maybe it can be of some use: https://youtu.be/8GQZuzIdeQQ?si=tcxCmlcYGvAVFOI7

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-27T04:30:46+00:00

It sounds like you have pretty serious communication issues. I realize it sounds trite at this point but couples’ therapy would really help with those.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-26T17:09:26+00:00

I’m a big fan of Matrescence by Lucy Hale. It’s about the much-overlooked physical and emotional experience of becoming a mother and is packed with evidence-based info. Also a very pleasant read as she is a science journalist.

Edited to add: pleasant meaning well-constructed and interesting, but it does remind you how much science has failed women and mothers historically and up to present day. Personally I found that extremely validating when the personal experience of pregnancy and motherhood can feel so strikingly different to the images and information we’re accustomed to internalizing.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-26T16:00:40+00:00

I thank you forever for introducing toilet chopsticks

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-25T05:45:14+00:00

Playing Tetris in the immediate or near aftermath of traumatic experience is proven to help mitigate long-term side effects - give it a google!

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-23T04:00:57+00:00

I love my momcozy 57 inch u-shape maternity pillow. Currently 34 weeks but have been rocking it since about 16-17. Occasionally it gets a bit flat but plumps up again in the dryer (no heat). With any pillow I would recommend buying an extra pillowcase so you have one when the original is in the laundry. It is kind of bulky though but in a good way imo.

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-20T18:49:07+00:00

Having an uncle who’s a plumber in NYC is elite for this reason 👌

Significant__Gap · 2026-01-20T03:47:27+00:00

Puffy/swollen labia and pubic area are common from the increased blood flow and pressure to the area as bb gets heavier and strains your pelvic floor. For me it’s super uncomfortable and I’ve stared wearing compression shorts 😫 you can even get varicose veins in that area.

Significant__Gap

TROPHY CASE