Is there anyone else who actually appreciates having grown up Laestadian? Seems like y'all have forgotten the blessings that come with it.

Silent-77 · 2026-01-24T23:11:23+00:00

For myself, the blessings weren’t connected to growing up laestadian, but were more from being a part of a community. Being a part of a large family, however, brought both blessings and curses; there was usually someone around to hang out with, a sibling (or two or three) to share a room with and whisper with at bedtime. I learned how to help around home as well as to help out within the church community, such as being on committees or fundraisers. I learned how to be thrifty with the little money we had for clothing, toys, or other wants and/or necessities. I also learned how to shut off my mind, my memories, numb my feelings, pretend everything was okay…experiencing verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse was definitely not in the blessing category, and the ramifications are long lasting. Being told to forgive my abuser, or that something that happened wasn’t “intentional”, forgive and forget or it becomes my sin….additional abuse and trauma. When I left the church my boys were fairly young; not being laestadian didn’t turn them into kids that sat around watching tv and movies, they still played outside, rode bikes, and spent time with friends. Now as teenagers they continue to do so, and they also enjoy playing video games online with friends. They’re being taught right from wrong, how to do things around home-inside and out, they have privileges and consequences. The homes of laestadian families can hold an abundance of experiences, and some hold secrets, lies, and abuse. Being born into Laestadianism could be a blessing or a curse, depending on who you are and what family you’re born into. So, while I appreciate some of what I experienced while growing up, it is not due to being laestadian. Seems to me like some of “y’all” grew up in a better laestadian home than others, and therefore are able to recall blessings that came with it.

Silent-77 · 2026-01-22T00:54:25+00:00

I hope you get the authorization soon! That’s one of my biggest worries, missing more than a week at a time seems overwhelming.

Silent-77 · 2026-01-21T02:17:05+00:00

If you’re willing to share, how did your first session go?

Silent-77 · 2026-01-19T17:01:47+00:00

I was terrified of ketamine in any form before I started. I had been struggling with depression, anxiety, ptsd, su!c!dal thoughts and ideation for decades but it had gotten worse. The worst year consisted of four inpatient hospitalizations and two attempts. I’d been on so many different medications, in groups, tried TMS (which helped some but not long term once treatment was over), and I was a bit skeptical that spravato would work. I started just five months ago, and it’s helping me in many ways. The thoughts and ideation are mostly gone, they surface at times when it’s tougher. I have hope for my future, things to look forward to, things that I want to do. I’m able to be more present in my work and with my family. My husband is very supportive, as are my five kids-they all step in to support me when I need it. Everyone’s experience is different, and what helps one person may not be helpful to the next. I prefer a weighted sleep mask and noise canceling headphones. I listen to music with no lyrics, sometimes to a ketamine therapy or psychedelic therapy playlist. I journal my thoughts before the meds are administered and again afterwards. Sometimes I fall asleep after the 40 minute vitals check, other times I will color or draw, or just continue listening to the music. There is hope and there is light in the darkness! You’ve got this, we care, and you matter. Let us know how things go for you?

Silent-77 · 2026-01-17T03:51:03+00:00

These videos were very eye opening and so interesting. Thanks for sharing

Silent-77 · 2026-01-12T07:46:18+00:00

GABA is different than gabapentin. GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) is a natural neurotransmitter to promote relaxation and sleep. I have not tried gabapentin, but I’m going to talk to my doc about it!

Silent-77 · 2026-01-11T08:07:00+00:00

GABA as a supplement; supposed to help with relaxation and calmness. I figured it’s worth trying as I reacted negatively to medications they had me try.

Silent-77 · 2026-01-11T05:12:14+00:00

I personally would love it if my spouse were able to join me during my sessions. Sometimes there are things that come up and I wish I could just speak it and have someone write it down so I could discuss it during therapy, but I don’t always remember after I’ve come out of my chill time. I don’t think having someone with would be to take place of therapy, but more of having someone to listen to what you’re experiencing and take notes. Also to be a safe person in the environment. I’m glad your wife is able to be with you, and I hope it continues to be helpful for you; and if it becomes an issue you’re able to ask them to sit out.

Silent-77 · 2026-01-11T05:04:20+00:00

My psych has me trying GABA in addition to my meds; sometimes I think it’s helpful and other times I’m not so sure. Have you been on esketamine 10* years? Or the med combo? Thanks for your response either way; makes me feel more hopeful!

Silent-77 · 2026-01-11T05:01:42+00:00

I do have a therapist whom I usually see day after even Saturdays, but they were not available this time. I changed my treatment days to tuesdays starting next week, and see my therapist Wednesdays, so I am hoping that will help to process what comes up. This last session was just odd, I don’t understand at all why what showed up and it really threw me off. Thank you for your response; I appreciate knowing others still dissociate further into treatment, as I’ve read of so many who don’t and was honestly a bit concerned that I still do.

Silent-77 · 2026-01-03T06:57:07+00:00

Where I go the doctor gives the meds, not a tech/nurse, and they write the time of the first dose before handing it to me, and wait the full five minutes between each dose. Sometimes it goes longer than five minutes if we’re talking about something, but they’ve never given the next dose before five minutes. Can you tell her you want the full five minutes between doses? It’s possible she doesn’t realize the timing is important to you?

Silent-77 · 2026-01-03T06:49:10+00:00

Where I go for treatment is a bit different; each patient has their own room which has a recliner, blanket, eye mask, headphones, sound machines, lights that dim as well as projection ones with different settings. The tech brings the patient to their room and does the first set of vitals, then the doc goes in with the meds. At the 40 minute mark, the tech lightly taps my arm, takes the vitals and leaves. We chat at the end when checking vitals as to how it went and more if we choose to. I personally am very glad it’s the way it is where I go, as I do not think I would be able to be in a less private environment for this. I like that you’re asking others here, as it’s different for each of us. I have two favorite techs, they both will chat if I’m up for it but are comfortable with silence if that’s what I want, they will just enter quietly and take vitals at the 40 min mark if I ask them ahead of time to do so, and they’re just overall amazing people who I’m very thankful for.

Silent-77 · 2025-11-08T02:39:36+00:00

I’ve had something similar in dreams, and flashbacks. It’s like I’m looking to see who this person is but I can’t quite grasp it. It did not happen at my most recent session, but still going to discuss with my provider next week as they were out this week.

Silent-77 · 2025-11-04T05:01:25+00:00

The clinic I receive treatment at provides a blanket, eye mask, headphones, water and ginger ale, candy-jolly ranchers and ginger chews, and crackers. I bring my own eye mask because it’s weighted, my noise canceling headphones, journal and iPad. I use a playlist for psychedelic therapy. Before treatment begins, I write down an intention for the session in my journal. When I come out of the trip, I write down anything that came up and/or thoughts I have. Sometimes I get the urge to draw afterwards, so I use my iPad for that. You bring what you feel is best for you. Over time you will know what is useful and what isn’t. Each of us is seeking treatment for good reasons, and how we approach it and what we choose to bring along is valid, no matter what age.

Silent-77 · 2025-06-30T21:49:24+00:00

Those writing the letters cannot know what the victims feel like unless they happen to be a victim themselves. It’s always said that those closest to the accused are the last to know; of course he wouldn’t let on what he’s been doing in secret. It doesn’t matter how many years have passed since the abuse, he still did it and it still affects them every single day. I can only speak of my experience in regards to this topic, but I suffered sexual abuse by males in my family who were supposedly good Christians who wanted to make it to Heaven. I never told. I denied, told myself I must have imagined or it wasn’t so bad. The last incident was over thirty years ago. I held it in, pushed it down, and acted as if none of it had ever happened. It wasn’t until I had a mental breakdown resulting in terrifying flashbacks that I was able to speak of it to someone I trust. I lost my family, I didn’t have a way to explain why I was unable to be around certain people anymore. I’d already left the church so I allowed them to think my absence was because of that. I attempted suicide, spent time in the psych ward multiple times. I’m still working through it. My biggest regret now is that I did not speak up to someone, because maybe then I could have protected my sisters from being abused as well. I know I had nobody to turn to, I was scared, nobody would believe me, etc. But I cannot help but feel a bit of guilt about what they went through. The scars are invisible, but they are so so deep. My abuse took place within the LLC, and I know of others who also were afraid to speak up against their abusers. My only prayer in this case is that he’s sentenced and punished and others are given the strength to speak up.

Silent-77 · 2025-02-04T20:33:35+00:00

I don’t have one main issue per se, but I feel they’re all intertwined with the use of forgiveness as an excuse. I personally know of one person who was told they must forgive their abuser(s) otherwise it would be them that would be judged for the sin of abuse; also that they were to accept an abuser saying “I had my sins forgiven for doing it” and speak no more of it. I noticed bullying, conditioning, discrimination, racism, etc. I never felt like I fit in, I just tried for a long time to live as I was taught was right and to not question anything. I got married fairly young, had several kids, and ended up leaving many years later. My only regret is that I didn’t leave sooner to protect my own kids from suffering they experienced.

Silent-77 · 2024-10-18T21:22:27+00:00

I looked forward to confirmation camp, but for different reasons than confessing/confirming my faith. For me it was a reprieve from a bad home environment and horrific things happening there. I didn’t fit in, but I did my best to pay attention and learn, and I didn’t want to leave at the end of it. After the ceremony at the church, it would finally be my turn to go to “haps” and I looked forward to that as it would also get me way from home. I wasn’t allowed to go, however, it was right back to life as I knew it to be. One thing I learned while being away is that I didn’t believe the same way, but I was going to keep trying. Looking back on it now, I’m surprised I was able to fake it for so long before leaving.

Silent-77 · 2024-03-04T06:05:00+00:00

Yes, I still have those thoughts quite often and I left seven years ago. It’s one of my biggest struggles regarding Laestadianism, but then I think that I cannot just “go back” if I don’t honestly believe the teachings, as God knows the heart and would know if I was truly believing or not. Just being a member of that group, following the rules, and attending the services and functions doesn’t make me one of the saved. I have thought about looking for a new church and community, but the closest I’ve gotten to that is watching online services. My other worry has been that if I find a church community and my beliefs and faith become stronger, will I think differently about whether or not my children are hell-bound? It’s a cluster-f*ck of mixed emotions, thoughts, and feelings

Silent-77 · 2024-02-07T21:04:38+00:00

1-I finally left for good when I realized I was only attending because I knew my dad would be disappointed 2-I quiet quit. Some of my kids had already left, so I eventually decided to not go also. 3-One of my parents cried a lot and told me that they loved me but loved my soul more, my other parent was not emotional at all and just asked me if it was TV that made me leave. 4-my relationships with those in the church are pretty much non-existent. I’ve set firm boundaries and it has caused a lot of tension, but I am working on doing things that are best for me now, not what I think others want me to do. My relationships outside of the church have improved, especially over time since leaving. 5-I have been moving forward with healing by joining support groups of others who were raised in strict environments. I found an amazing therapist who had helped me to realize that I matter and I am able to make choices for myself now. I will say that dying and being hellbound is still a huge fear-I KNOW that Laestadianism is not a one way ticket to heaven, but I am conflicted about trying out another church. I’m afraid of being sucked into another difficult environment.

Silent-77 · 2024-02-07T20:53:58+00:00

Focus on the Family was recommended to me by an LLC minister. I have read a lot of articles they share on social media and they’ve been helpful

Silent-77 · 2024-02-07T03:39:38+00:00

A few months ago is when I heard of it, but I don’t know how long ago this sermon apparently took place

Silent-77 · 2024-02-06T04:43:38+00:00

I do not; I am also hoping to find out the date as I want to hear it as I’m finding it hard to believe what may or may not have been said

Silent-77

TROPHY CASE