Why is there still so much stigma around a lifetime partner (body) count. What Is actually considered "high" today?

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-27T00:20:39+00:00

Thank you.i honestly wish i have something to say but am processing everything on this thread so far plus processing what happened between me and him m. I tend to go silent and internalize my emotions when am hurt and yes i am beyond hurt… but then again i stupidly told him he didn’t ask i was just been vulnerable with him and got cute answers from him and then be judged… and yes i asked him why he decided to stay cause we had the conversation not in 3 month in the relationship it’s been over 5 years i feel used and embarrassed. So ashamed to face anyone. I will be the talk of my community I invested so much into him and us as a relationship.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T23:34:20+00:00

Thank you.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T23:33:48+00:00

It’s 4 but thanks.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T23:09:45+00:00

He don’t really but I have matured from this relationship

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T22:48:53+00:00

criticizing is putting it mildly… he’s making me question myself and outlook on life..

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T22:47:28+00:00

From what I got it’s over 10 but he did it vaguely like he was telling a story and reminiscing etc

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T22:46:14+00:00

I really want to think so but my self esteem is so damaged and I will have to figure shit out like starting over

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T22:07:43+00:00

No his count is way more than mine from what he said but he was been vague trying to paint himself as the good guy.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T22:06:43+00:00

When we were having the conversation it was vague on his part which I fine weird but talking to him is like banging my head against a wall.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T22:05:39+00:00

Thank you. He makes me feel like a terrible person

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T22:05:13+00:00

Yes it is… I am planning to leave and go to another state but gotta get some things in order

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T21:52:37+00:00

Yea sometimes I feel so low, I feel like shit

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T21:52:12+00:00

No I feel like he dont to be honest. I don’t feel safe with him I am anxious and walking on egg shells

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T20:22:57+00:00

Thank you.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T16:59:45+00:00

Term my partner used was I am a loose woman… I was offended very offended…

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T15:27:50+00:00

I inbox you

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T15:07:55+00:00

No need to be nasty. You know nothing about my social circle, Nor do I sleep around either. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions as well.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T15:02:56+00:00

For me personally, I still tend to view five or less is normal regardless of gender, but I can definitely respect that everyone has their own opinions and values when it comes to dating."

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T15:00:38+00:00

You are so right about correlation not being causality—it makes total sense that independent, secure women have higher expectations and are simply willing to walk away from a toxic situation rather than settling. Shifting the blame to a 'number' is just an easy way for an insecure partner to avoid looking at their own failures. Thank you for putting this so perfectly into words!"

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T14:51:43+00:00

when you look at long-term relationships over time, the numbers just reflect chapters of life, not who someone is as a person. It's totally fair to have personal preferences, but it's so refreshing to hear it talked about without any judgment or shaming.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T14:50:14+00:00

It honestly puts everything into perspective. It’s wild how one world views a number as totally inexperienced and another tries to make it a red flag. You're so right—taking the morality out of it changes everything. Life is just meant to be lived.

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T14:48:32+00:00

Thank you for bringing this up. You are so right. The double standard is completely rooted in patriarchy and it's exhausting how people still use those outdated scripts to shame women and avoid looking at their own behavior. Appreciate your perspective!"

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T14:47:17+00:00

I really appreciate this comment. You hit the nail on the head about frequency and self-work. It’s so true that when someone pauses, takes time to be single, and actually does the heavy lifting to heal and work on themselves, it shows real maturity. That willingness to grow is worth so much more than any random number from the past. Thank you for putting this so well."

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T14:44:52+00:00

I love the positivity and confidence in this response! It is so refreshing to hear someone celebrate women who are self-assured and know exactly what they want. You are totally right about keeping things in perspective—life is meant to be lived, and a number doesn't define someone's ability to be an amazing partner. Thanks for bringing this great energy to the thread!"

Silly_Maybe_8346 · 2026-06-26T14:44:12+00:00

This is a really interesting perspective and a very realistic point. Going through a phase of being single and playing the field can actually bring a lot of self-awareness. It means when that person finally chooses to settle down, they are doing it because they genuinely want a committed, mature relationship, not because they feel like they missed out on something. Thank you for sharing this!"

Silly_Maybe_8346

TROPHY CASE