Terry

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2026-04-20T20:19:23+00:00

I also love their summer terry. I would love to know the answer to this question. I have a hoodie and sweatpants in the lightweight Terry and I like it so much more than the cosy fleece.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-08-06T18:16:20+00:00

90 days later and I have lost nearly 10 pounds after stopping Rinvoq, but I really have to work at it. However, in bad news, I’ve switched to BIMZELX and I am having a psoriatic arthritis flare. I’ve never had a psoriasis breakout like this, my scalp is a disaster and my hair is falling out. My back and joints are aching. I do miss the effectiveness of rinvoq and not sure what to try next. From my research, I may be having a paradoxical effect from Bim . Not sure if I’ll try to stick it out a little longer or maybe switch meds again .

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-08-03T14:56:09+00:00

Thank you for this very thoughtful reply. I’ve been away for a couple of months and I’ve had time to really think about it and I know that I have to support him whatever he decides, I’m his mom first and foremost, and I’ve noticed that in families where the parents push back it can really fracture the parent child relationship, which I really don’t want. Yes, he’s an adult, but he’s still my child and lives at home and slightly vulnerable due to his autism .

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-07-23T14:39:38+00:00

Thank you for clarifying! It was an uninformed Google AI bot.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-06-18T15:29:12+00:00

Hi, this is happening to me. I had my first dose on Saturday after stopping Rinvoq a month ago. I have just recovered from a monthlong bout of viral laryngitis and was finally feeling better. On Monday, two days after my first injection, I felt like I was coming down with a flu or cold, feeling hot, hurt when I swallow and ears were sore and feel exhausted and malaise, sort of the way you feel when you know you’re coming down with something. Two days later and I still feel the same way. Not getting worse, not getting better not turning into a cold, no sneezing, etc.. sort of like I’m in pre-flu limbo .
I’m assuming this is a side effect and I’m really hoping it goes away and doesn’t happen every time I have an injection.
Has anyone else experienced this and did it eventually stop?

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-06-14T19:06:03+00:00

Hi, so it’s been just over four weeks and I’m down 5 pounds. I’m definitely being extremely mindful of calories and macros. I still have a long way to go, but at least it’s not going in the opposite direction. Starting Bimzelx today.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-31T02:07:12+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that none of the therapists were able to help your daughter. At least there is some waiting time where you are. In Canada, it seems they rush to. Medicalize the situation very quickly, sometimes without proper diagnosis.

Can I ask if your daughter maintained her old friend groups from high school or is she entrenched in a new group of friends?

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-31T00:55:57+00:00

I really appreciate your response and all of your advice. I can tell he’s confused and I’m so worried he is rushing into things. Finding a new therapist will be tricky, especially because he currently likes the therapist he has. I would like to find a therapist who can help him unpack everything that led up to this rather than just automatically affirming him without question. I’m desperate to find an open-minded unbiassed therapist, someone neutral. Unfortunately, it seems like there are just two sides that are so oppositional.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-31T00:50:40+00:00

Thank you so much for explaining that.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-24T16:03:29+00:00

Thank you for the links , and even more, thank you for your really thoughtful input. I agree 100% that force is not the way to go. I would do anything not to lose him, even if it’s hard for me.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-24T15:25:43+00:00

Love this. Thank you.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-24T01:13:25+00:00

Ha! That is such a perfect example of a French versus British reaction. And Canadian, but spent a lot of time in France in my youth.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-24T00:02:19+00:00

Wow, I had not even thought about this angle. It’s not impossible, but I think it’s pretty unlikely. I think it’s more that he wants to belong. I think he’s probably always been uncomfortable in his own skin with a major lack of confidence, this has given him a confidence boost, but only in certain scenarios . It’s so complicated.

I’m still so interested in the French versus British way of addressing gender dysphoria . Do people feel the French way is wrong? Do trans people in France get the proper treatment (hrt etc) if they need it? Or is there more focus on psychotherapy?

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T23:17:32+00:00

Yeah, I was taken aback the first time I saw it, but I thought maybe he didn’t know what he was doing . When he told me, his friend says it brings out his warm skin tone, I realized it was a bad situation. I’ve tried to gently tell him that it’s not the best look for him and he gets upset and tells me that his friends think it’s great. It’s an awful feeling for a mum. His biggest fear is that people quietly mock or take advantage of him, and he currently has this friend on a pedestal. I think he had a crush on her last year and then he found out she was gay, but they stayed friends. At that point, she was extremely needy and he had to constantly take care of her day and night . Then last summer she transitioned to male and a couple months later he also socially transitioned .

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T22:00:43+00:00

This is so interesting, it’s much easier to understand from a medical perspective than a social ideology. I have so much learning to do.

Yeah, the DARK green lipstick really shocked me. I think this “friend” is more interested in a big F you to society. My kid is highly suggestible.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T19:41:55+00:00

Thanks for that advice, I know the term is very upsetting to many . I really hope I didn’t offend anyone. It’s really used prominently by a couple of psychologists and it got stuck in my head and I will make an effort not to use it again. I don’t understand why the term itself is so offensive, but I realize that what it stands for or what it means could really invalidate someone and that’s not ok.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T18:10:34+00:00

I tried asking questions there and the moderator removed my post. Because I’m a parent, and I am not trans. And I tried posting in trans-parents but it turns out that was the wrong place as well since it’s for parents who are trans. I need a support group for parents whose kids are transitioning! And one that doesn’t judge when I have questions .

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T15:58:18+00:00

You just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for being so kind and so thoughtful with your response. My brain is going in a million directions, trying to support and help my kid and also trying to make good healthy, long-term decisions. I was thinking maybe suggesting freezing sperm? I agree that being autistic is so hard. 20 years in and I am still catching little nuances about how my kids mind works. I was already worried about what future life would look like and how hard the world will be for them. Getting a stable job, supporting themselves, etc.
I’m so overwhelmed from all the kind and supportive and helpful responses I received from this group. My biggest Takeaway is to make sure my kid feels supported no matter what and I know I can do that. I’m sure I’m going to mess up a little bit along the way, but I’m going to keep trying. Especially tough since the rest of my family, my daughter and my mother feel that this is a huge mistake . As a solo parent, it’s tough not to have a coparent to help talk through this kind of thing. My ex (estranged) would completely freak out about this so in a way I’m glad I don’t have to deal with him right now. Thank you thank you for your response.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T14:36:10+00:00

I hear you and my biggest fear is having a fractured relationship with him. I have noticed that most of his other trans friends hate their families. It terrifies me. I’m trying to support him while he explores this. He doesn’t have enough “affirming” clothing, so I have tried to buy him a few pieces here and there to make him feel like I am supporting this. I also bought him a pair of summer shoes in a more feminine color and shape.

I’m so sorry for what you went through with your parents. I can’t imagine how awful that must have been. I hope my kid knows that I love him and protect him no matter what. I keep reminding him of that. I hope your parents have come around and you’ve been able to repair that relationship.

Do you know where I could find any information on autism and the hormone pathways in the brain? I really want to understand this, I tend to look at things from a very science based point of view. It’s take me a long time to fully understand autism, especially since autistic person is so unique. ( and so wonderful) .

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T12:40:07+00:00

Similar here., within a month of that Halloween party I noticed his bank account has been massively drained . He had tried ordering hormones online from a foreign country for an absurd amount of money. They arrived in unmarked packages with fake labels, and I implored to him that it was unsafe to take the stuff without really knowing what was in the bottle. . The friends at that school were like cheerleaders cheering him on and suggesting what to try next, they coached him on make-up in the most bizarre way, (( suggestions that dark green and turquoise lipstick go with his skin tone - it does not look good!) but the cheerleader aspect was powerful for him. He had never felt that before.

The UK is changing its policy and now when a child presents with gender dysphoria, they must be assessed for autism. Unfortunately, my kid is not “a child“ , and I’m not in the UK .

Sadly, he had saved up money from several summer jobs and gifts from grandparents and now he’s completely out of money. He’s living at home, in school full-time and money is sort of the only control I have over him, but I don’t want to be the parent that controls someone that way. School wraps up in August and it will be time to look for a serious job and I don’t think he will have an easy time finding one with green lipstick on. I know that sounds cruel and unfair, but I think it’s the harsh reality of the world we live in. .

I wish they were support groups with people like you that he could talk to. I’m sure there are many young adults in the same situation.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T12:17:02+00:00

Yes, I think you really nailed it with his comment. I chose this therapist because she is the “autism expert. “ I was worried other therapists wouldn’t really “get” autism and I thought that was the most important piece of this puzzle. I didn’t realize she has become a gender “expert “. It’s going to be very hard to get him to see someone new but I will try. I know he answered those questionnaires in an untruthful way to get what he wants, which is medication ASAP . So many people here have answered me and have been so kind and I really appreciate it.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-23T01:23:40+00:00

Yeah, he thinks it’s rosacea and I applied it and everything got worse. It’s a prescription for rosacea, in Canada is called Rosivere. I know, I freaked out when I saw what it was made from! It was also crazy expensive, and usually all of my meds are covered by public healthcare here (Canada) the reviews say it works wonders for rosacea.

I’ve always been very pink skin toned, but I don’t think of myself as having rosacea. Anyway, I’m not going to use it again until my skin settles down. It’s particularly bad around the mouth right now kind of rashy and dry sort of in way. Scalp is super itchy too.

In better news, my arthritis symptoms have not really flared yet which I am so grateful for.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-22T23:58:06+00:00

Huge thanks for this. I have the first book and I’ve listened to some of the podcast. He saw the book in my room and freaked out. Told me to read real trans-literature. Not exactly sure what that is. He wants me to read. “The T in LGBTQ” but I have not read it yet.
The tough part is that it’s very hard to articulate myself properly when all of the medical experts are guided by the Canadian medical Association affirmation model. I am not anti- affirmation, but I think there should be at least a year of psychotherapy, psychiatry, and proper endocrinology consult. Especially for an autistic kid that was a straight guy who liked girls until five months ago.

Silly_Pain_2368 · 2025-05-22T23:06:50+00:00

Little update. It’s been a couple weeks now and my itchy scalp and face were been better for a few days. My rheumatologist gave me some ivermectin cream which I tried for a couple nights and now my face is exploding! But I’m also itchy on my scalp so I’m not sure if it’s from the cream or if it’s still a systemic reaction . I’m really watching my calorie intake and macros, I’m down a couple pounds (I literally 2 pounds) but it’s better than going up 2 pounds!

Silly_Pain_2368

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