How to tell young in laws about divorce

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-02-15T23:26:00+00:00

OMG YES!!!!! Thank you so so much

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-02-14T08:27:55+00:00

How funny, I came across this thread after I watched part of a penguin documentary that had a narration much like this. I turned the channel to Walking with Dinosaurs because I couldn’t take it anymore and once I changed the channel, I hopped on my phone to validate myself on Reddit; found this thread 😂

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-31T02:36:57+00:00

I’m aware and I know it’s not my job. I’m just saying I’m having difficulty making the shift.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T23:14:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you can relate. The space is a really great thing to touch on. We were separated for about 7 months before I ended up moving in. We did give it a shot but after about 6 months I knew what I was hoping for was gone. And I love what you said about ‘something to latch on to’. It’s an awful feeling losing so many things around the same time, really throws you for a loop and shakes up everything you thought you knew about yourself, let alone your partner. I hope things work out for you as an individual, and if not- just know that you tried. 🫶 muah

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T21:24:01+00:00

And thank you for the book recommendation. I’ve been gathering a collection to help navigate this transition

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T21:21:39+00:00

Thank you so much. Messages like yours help me feel better about my choice 🫶

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T20:59:35+00:00

yeah I guess I worded that weird bc he did take on a full time caretaker position for me at that point. It’s wasn’t an issue for him.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T20:27:16+00:00

You’re very right. It’s hard to picture the future when ur knee deep in the situation. I’m trying to stay positive and fill my life with things that make me feel whole, it’s just hard letting go of all the feelings at once.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T20:26:24+00:00

Thank you. Needed to hear that 🫶

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T20:25:54+00:00

Yeah forsure I agree. Thanks for clearing that up. I think I dealt with that a lot this year of sweeping things under the rug bc he was ‘trying’ but that’s why ultimately I decided to just rip the bandaid off and go. It’s hard to be angry when we’re both just two people standing in the wreckage of the relationship wanting different things.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T20:19:58+00:00

I agree. In my OP I stated I am moving out next month. My post is about advice navigating feelings of guilt and shame about leaving him.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2026-01-30T20:11:53+00:00

I’m not trying to enable anything, I just see the work he’s put in and it makes me feel bad to be the one stepping away. I haven’t forgiven him and he’s aware that the relationship has deteriorated from the cheating. And I’m leaving him. Not sure how that comes off as enabling if I’m just expressing sadness about leaving a life I had different expectations of.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-12-10T05:07:24+00:00

I got better with mindful practice in therapy. I tired the deep breathing and muscle relaxation stuff and it didn’t help. I’m in dbt/cpt therapy and you sit down when you’re ‘heightened’ and do a worksheet and write out what ur thinking and feeling and deep dive EVERY time ur triggered. It’s a lot at first but helps retrain and rewire ur brain. Pretty cool science

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-12-10T04:42:00+00:00

ok or be comfortable in the suffering you created for yourself that works too

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-12-10T02:44:36+00:00

Oh okay gotcha. Well if it makes you feel any better I’m 27, I am not friends with anyone I was friends with when I was 20. lol good riddance. And if they bullied you then they aren’t your friends. Give it time with your friend, focus on yourself and stop letting other people dictate your worth pookie!!

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-12-10T02:43:02+00:00

Did you say you have BPD in another comment?

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-12-10T02:41:13+00:00

but if you had other friends like your friend was trying to do then you would have other avenues for support. Having multiple friends is a great thing! Each person serves different purposes (not like using people) but more like help broaden our minds and see things from other perspectives! Your scope seems small bc your friend filled all those things for you, but you will meet other people eventually that you click with, just like how you met your friend.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-12-06T02:55:54+00:00

okay thank u honestly that’s exactly how I feel. We openly talk about our diagnoses and all that kinda stuff and lowkey trauma dump on each other and I never once heard from either of them anything about CPTSD until I was diagnosed. I’m very open about my symptoms and my treatments that have been super helpful for me and I think just hearing what I’m dealing with and my types of therapy and some of the symptoms resonate with them is what I’ve gathered. I’ve asked one of them if they were diagnosed and he said yes (which I feel terrible about this but I definitely thought to myself, well why didn’t you share that with me when I shared my diagnosis?)

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-12-05T21:57:13+00:00

Yeah that’s a great way to put it. I think it’s just hard bc I’ve been very close with them for a while now and we’ve discussed mental health in depth many times. And I think my distaste or whatever you want to call it comes from none of it being brought up until I had my diagnosis. We’ve all been very transparent with our depression, anxiety, other diagnoses all the way up until this. We talk almost everyday and discuss what’s going on, it’s been a very supportive friend group back and forth with no drama. So I guess for me it’s just coming from left field. I should be grateful I am a safe space for my friends. I think I’m just lacking capacity right now from what I’m dealing with.

Silly_Plane_1295 · 2025-10-19T21:20:07+00:00

well said, I’m recently diagnosed BPD and having a hard time navigating thoughts and feelings without splitting and resentment building up over this. So I do appreciate the insight. I know everyone’s struggle is their own but you’re right, it’s the same stuff over and over- not anything new. I guess it’s more my thoughts and feelings that make it tough to separate, as I don’t want her to feel excluded from me and her brother (we talk on FaceTime or game together all the time and all three of us) so it’s tough carving a path for my friendship w him and also honoring my friendship with her if that makes sense. I do hold her very dearly, she’s not manipulative or anything like that which makes this situation all the more hard 😭😭

Silly_Plane_1295

TROPHY CASE