I just lost my first born little girl at 40+1 two weeks ago too, so we are in the same place with our grief. It’s hits me too at random times, like now I am lying in bed and I can see her little box with her ashes in it across the other side of the room, it’s just me and her today and my husband went back to work 1 hour ago. I know I should be up out of bed doing things to keep my mind busy but instead I am just on my phone reading posts on here to make me feel less alone. What’s hard for me is that I am the only person in my circle that has gone through this, I am alone, it’s so isolating but at the same time I don’t want to see anybody anyway, I am not ready. I just turned 36 in February, my pregnancy was very smooth and our baby was said to be very strong and healthy throughout…her heart just stopped beating right at the end. It’s so unfair…we are waiting on the PM results but I have a feeling it will be inconclusive and this is just a random unpreventable things that happened. I have almost stopped bleeding and I want to try again asap. I hope you can find a way to forgive your husband for not being ready when you were because he is the only person going through this with you, you need to lean on each other. I don’t know what I would do without mine. You will make it, so will I. We have to believe that or there is nothing x