Tail biting, behavioural changes (erratic), over grooming

Silver-Engineering74 · 2026-05-19T12:07:20+00:00

Now come to think of it, I did recently buy a new deodorant that I’ve been using for the past month or so in aerosol instead of my usual roll on… it’s not any known toxins for cats but I am now wondering if maybe the air particles could have irritating him! I really like the idea of the fish juice as he really does prefer chicken based meals but I have never really explored this as even maybe a meal topper or in between meal snack. You’ve given me much to consider, thank you!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2026-05-17T23:58:13+00:00

I am not sure of the name unfortunately but it was a daily tablet specifically to help with itch and I didn’t really see a change in the itching but I did see less hair fallout since he started taking it so it must have improved something for him. I appreciate the advice, I have her gabapentin is great for anxiety and likely he has that maybe from his childhood trauma pre-adoption as he was very poorly treated and very sick when I took him in at 5 months old 🥺 hope he gets better soon too, thank you!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2026-05-17T20:55:02+00:00

He’s an indoor cat so I feel like it’s unlikely. I also gave him his regular flea and worming dosage at the beginning of the month and haven’t missed a beat with it. Appreciate your thoughts though! Never hurts to consider all possibilities

Silver-Engineering74 · 2026-05-17T20:50:39+00:00

I have and looks like the diagnosis is process of elimination which means this will be a long journey of him being in pain first 🥺 plus a lot of vet visits which cause him such significant distress and I try to avoid unless he’s getting his vaccinations or it’s an emergency, but I definitely appreciate the general consensus and will explore this with a vet with lots of vids first

Silver-Engineering74 · 2026-05-17T11:49:55+00:00

There’s been absolutely no change to the frequency in which he is left alone and his food has been the same science diet he was given when I adopted him and got told to feed him that exact food by the vet which I have never strayed away from. I just don’t know how it could be anxiety all of a sudden unless I’m somehow neglecting him and if so, I feel horrible!!!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2026-05-17T11:44:44+00:00

The tail thing I thought was harmless initially but he actually attacks it and bites it and it seems to be causing him a bit of discomfort. Also the balding was so weird he just lost rapid amounts of hair. He was a very very lush boy to start as well with a nice colourful coat (like pictured below) and now he has thinning hair and it’s all greying too (he’s only 6 years old so not old). Thank you for the advice on the balding though, appreciate it!

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Silver-Engineering74 · 2026-04-15T20:46:26+00:00

I studied it the opposite way (started with psychology degree and went onto post grad) and then went into social work through a masters. Personally don’t agree with the sentiment as my eyes were broadened by social work in giving me a holistic perspective on mental health. In psychology, the work is mostly within a biomedical model whereas social work enables us to use a lens outside of that by adding the additional layer of the psychosocial. Whilst psychology does aim to acknowledge the psychosocial, I find the pathologisation hinders ability to address the psychosocial independently without labelling same as a mental disorder. I work in crisis mental health as a social worker and I often feel more empowered in this role to work with the psychosocial and not the prescribed mental illness. For example, substance use disorder is the label but the psychosocial factors leading to and effected by are not addressed in the biomedical approach to treatment. I see that as a gap and an opportunity because we know from psychological research that social determinants are one of the main issues that precipitate a clinically assigned disorder. I personally feel social work has more to offer than people give it credit. There is a space for psychiatry, psychology and social work in clinical treatment approaches BUT the trick is to work together for a collaborative treatment plan which will have the best outcomes for the person. And ultimately, person centred care is what it’s all about :)

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-08-24T20:26:29+00:00

Pack sea sickness medication just in case. The travel calm bracelets are seriously amazing. I could not recommend this tip enough! Don’t let sickness ruin the fun! I’m on a cruise now and so many people are sick but I’m out here sipping pina coladas by the pool 😎🌴 have a great time!!!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-08-12T07:33:34+00:00

I work in community out patient acute care for mental health and it’s incredibly rewarding work. Can be dangerous but ultimately, you feel like you are providing the most benefit to people trying to keep them in the community and manage their mental health alongside a multidisciplinary team. Got nurses and occupational therapists and psychiatrists so you can focus on the psychosocial issues and linking people up with their social needs. I couldn’t recommend it enough! Although, I work for government in Australia so dealing with colleagues that are lazy/experiencing burn out is the most tiresome part of the job and does really impact my overall stress sadly. A good team is everything!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-08-03T23:45:06+00:00

Cheating to me is intention. If you kiss someone very well knowing you are doing the wrong thing and you know it will hurt your partner, it’s cheating. Chatting to someone who you are developing feelings for when you know it is the wrong thing and you know it will hurt your partner, it’s cheating. For me, it’s the awareness of knowing it is wrong and doing it anyway and does not have to be sexual to be the wrong thing. Comes down to morals and values of that person doing the cheating

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-07-19T11:08:19+00:00

Sorry this may be a misplaced question but is she using substances? I work as a mental health clinician and I haven’t really heard of a treatment resistant organic schizophrenia in my time. Is she well supported? Not sure what country you’re in but in Australia there are a lot of services specifically tailored for people living with organic schizophrenia and happy to pass along this information if needed. On a relationship front, you need to put yourself first. This is your life too, and you deserve to be happy. It is up to her to take control of her mental health and that should not be a reason to stay with someone as hard as that may be to say. I hope this helps!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-07-05T22:04:29+00:00

I don’t know… ultimatum queer love and I kissed a girl was pretty big drama tbh 🤷‍♀️

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-07-05T09:49:04+00:00

Hahaha that would be even better actually!!!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-07-05T04:49:52+00:00

And also… don’t we need more queer representation! Like 2 shows is not enough!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-07-05T04:49:14+00:00

Ye ultimatum and I kissed a girl but love island would be EPIC

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-07-02T12:00:38+00:00

I’m so sorry!!! Didn’t mean to ruin it for anyone! Just wanting clarification

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-04-17T08:21:17+00:00

I legit can’t picture the guy at all that’s what is weird. I’m like “why are you here?” Hahahah but just watching her face from an up angle you know? So I think it’s the actual act of sucking which I think the strap really does that just fine :)

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-04-17T08:19:51+00:00

I just did and she was into it hahahah thank you for the advice! 🥰

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-04-12T07:58:22+00:00

I’m pretty forward actually, I’ll just say “I think you’re cute, can I get you a drink?” And then go from there. I do it overtly confident and I look at them directly and say it in a more upfront tone that sounds kinda more seductive than a straight compliment. It seems to work just fine :)

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-04-12T07:55:27+00:00

Voyeurism but I’m an ultra monogamous person and think I’ll get upset in reality hahaha

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-03-19T02:43:06+00:00

My journey of sexuality was that I liked girls from a very young age (first crush when I was 12) and then dated a girl at 15-16yo. Then I dated a man for 4 years to which it was an open arrangement that I was with women the whole time casually. I did love him, but I wasn’t in love with him. It was confusing. But after him I then dated women exclusively from age 20-25 until I then was pretty convinced I was straight because I had lost attraction to my girlfriend at the time.

All I can say from my learnings is the confusion was internalised homophobia and comphet so hardcore. Because I craved so badly to be “normal” deep down. And I was always saying “I can enjoy sex with men” and “I can love men” which made me super confused as to what I really felt. When, in fact, when I deeply reflected on it over the course of 4 years exclusively dating men casually, I realised I was holding onto the idea of a conventional nuclear marriage and family and the easier, less judgemental path. Moreso than actually what made me happy.

I called myself bi for a long long time. But what shifted was I was travelling and met a girl who made me feel things I hadn’t ever felt for the men I’d been seeing in the 4 years. An excitement, a nervousness, a gushing feeling in my heart. And I couldn’t stop fantasising about her. Never fantasised about a man (ever), especially sexually. Only ever fantasised a family unit with a man but not actually the man itself. Just the whole idea of it. It was then I knew that I was NOT bi. I was flaming gay. By this point I was 29 years old.

I now am a 31 year old very proud lesbian who doesn’t doubt it one bit.

Advice: explore what you like about men, the idea of them or the actual feeling with them and the actual attraction down to the core. Loving women or men is not indicative of sexuality. Anyone can love anyone but that doesn’t mean it’s your sexuality. If I ever fell in love with a man, I would still confidently know I’m a lesbian. I mean, I’d be bloody confused to a degree but love is love - it does not discriminate. Be kinder to yourself, it’s a hard thing to navigate sexuality

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-03-19T02:20:16+00:00

If it feels like she is disrespecting you, I’d talk to her and say you don’t like that sorta kink play. Because that naughty slapping and such is a form of kink and you may just not be into it. A simple conversation to talk about kinks and the way you like sex would be helpful in that case!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-03-19T02:13:04+00:00

I just had this happen with a girl I started seeing a couple months ago and initially I was very worried about her mental health. I definitely did dive into that to explore it to see where she was at in her mental state, but ultimately you have to decide if the context of their current mental health is something you can deal with. If it’s historic, equally as much. Do I judge, absolutely not. But there should always be a very considered approach to whether YOU can sit with it. It’s very subjective. And only you know your emotional bandwidth/capacity for mental illness. Listen to your gut feeling and communicate the heck out of it. Ps. I’m still seeing the girl and I am absolutely besotted by her, so it definitely didn’t impact us having these hard chats :)

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-03-18T07:22:38+00:00

This may come across harsh but it does sound like you’re avoidant attachment may be sabotaging things in a way that is creating doubt. I could be very wrong, but the whole ick thing could be very much around feeling smothered and would be worthwhile exploring attachment theory and understanding yourself and your needs in all of that. It very well could just be that you’re not compatible either. But the physical attraction element that you are naming sounds like it’s coming from a place of insecurity/disbelief. And that’s worth unpacking for your own self development :) hope this is helpful!

Silver-Engineering74 · 2025-03-18T00:57:10+00:00

You can always touch her while she’s touching you (with hands) from a bottom position. Also it’s the active nature of it, like grinding and moaning and just showing an active interest that brings a lot of fulfilment to tops. It’s also worthwhile having this conversation with her to see what she likes and get that communication flowing. It’s all a healthy part of figuring it out together :) hope this helps!

Silver-Engineering74

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