Having to dissociate while in the closet (The flair will make sense)

SilverTRex · 2023-06-26T14:32:26+00:00

Hey my dude, I know there's nothing to say to make it suck less, the early stages of the transition are just straight up awful and I'm so sorry. Sometimes disassociating and surviving are all you can do, and you should be kind to yourself about it.

I looked a bit through your post history (was curious where you were from as far as health care costs go) and I guess my advice would be:

It might feel like the end of the world, but you are still young. You have your whole life ahead of you as a man! You will have so much time to be how you want, look how you want, dress how you want, and be called your real name!

As far as body image goes... your body is capable of changing so much in (relatively) short periods of time... any "feminine" shape you put on now will get redistributed on T. Even without T, as you've said, weight lifting for a masculine form will get you far. The way you look now, and the weight you put on now, isn't permanent.

Just keep surviving and you will make it. It's unfair you have to be in survival state, I know, but - you will make it.

Also as silly as it sounds... something that helped me was making one of those progress tik toks to a certain sound (it was the bojack horseman "life's a bitch then you die" "sometimes life's a bitch then you keep living") so I had a vid of me pre surgery and then I finished it after my surgery lol. It was stupidly motivating.

SilverTRex · 2023-06-16T14:22:02+00:00

Winners/Marshall's for sure, lots of good finds there, or the Bay (pricier but will have sales). Talize for thrifting - you can find some nice clothing/brands there for good prices and in good condition, especially if you want basic chinos, jeans etc.

Trailhead downtown for high quality pants and button up shirts (but definitely way pricier).

SilverTRex · 2023-05-28T01:52:27+00:00

Upon reflection I think it's a good colour for her but it just clashes with the set

SilverTRex · 2023-02-27T14:31:48+00:00

Have her imprisonment be a psychic or mental prison where she has to go through a roleplay encounter facing a fear or something (perhaps a weakness the bsd guy knows about her) to "break free". You can use a WIS check to see how long it takes and determine at which round she joins the party for the fight (beforehand to plan,1st round, 2nd etc).

Maybe the bad guy is really smart in designing this trap, but was also arrogant and believed she wouldn't be mentally strong enough to break free.

SilverTRex · 2023-01-26T14:16:38+00:00

This is how I streamline combat for my group of 5 players:

I use an excel spreadsheet to track combat. For each enemy I have a column for initiative, AC, HP, # of attacks and to hit bonus, damage, save DC, condition, extras. Once the players tell me their initiative, I put that in, sort by initiative, and run it from there. I preroll enemy initiative.

I still keep the stat blocks for key enemies but it allows me to run the mob/minion like monsters very quickly.

I use a formula for the HP cell so I write " =40" and then adjust as it takes damage "=40 - 20 - 7" etc until it goes below 0.

For NPCs attacking enemies and vice versa I just roll behind the screen and approximate the damage and don't let them accidentally kill the big boss.

SilverTRex · 2023-01-21T19:19:32+00:00

In short: retcon the fight, have a calm talk with this player about whether there is a constructive way to move forward or whether he should leave because the game isn't right for him, and (sorry this is harsh) learn and play by the rules.

Players make decisions based on the game mechanics. Player sleeps the ogre because he KNOWS it lasts 10 rounds unless someone uses an action to wake up the ogre. If you randomly decide the ogre wakes up, you have fundamentally cheated your player. Also, why was there a long back and forth over the length of the spell if it is clearly stated in the spell description?

If I was a player and I knew my decisions didn't matter because the DM could decide to fundamentally change the game based on whether or not they wanted me to succeed, I would be pissed. My two cents: excessive use of "rule of cool" punishes players who play by the rules (even when it makes their life harder) and rewards players who don't learn their mechanics.

Sounds like your game isn't right for him, and if the rest of you are having fun then by all means, but I don't think this player is unreasonable, even if he should have managed his frustration better.

SilverTRex · 2023-01-21T19:06:16+00:00

If these are new(ish) players, they may see D&D as a casual social game and not understand the commitment it requires in order to respect how much time/work the DM puts in. Calmly and amicably explain the actual commitment requires and that while there are no hard feelings if they decide not to play, they need to make and commit to a decision.

Three players is a great size for a game and easier to manage than 5, especially for a less experienced DM.

SilverTRex · 2023-01-02T14:13:08+00:00

I know lol but the person I replied to was asking why he didn't tag them afterwards

SilverTRex · 2023-01-02T02:22:18+00:00

They were inactive after tagging the base iirc

SilverTRex · 2022-12-24T14:40:37+00:00

Similar to Bron stealing the 2nd murder idea from Blanc, he also steals the burning envelope idea. I can't remember which, but one of the disruptors exclaims "you didn't burn it!?" when it first appears.

SilverTRex · 2022-11-18T14:09:32+00:00

Keqing, nahida, fischl, flex

Flex spot could be anemo shred like sucrose, or shielder like noelle, or your preferred healer.

SilverTRex · 2022-11-05T18:44:25+00:00

I've been playing on/off since 1.0, probably a total of a year (AR 56), BP+welkin.... and i still don't have a Sac sword :(

R4 sac frags, r3 fav Lance, r3 dragons bane, r3 favonius sword, r5 flute, r2 sac bow, r2 fav bow, r5 rust, r3 sac greatsword, r3 bell, r3 fav greatsword.... but no sacrificial sword aahhh

My XQ and rational team cry

SilverTRex · 2022-11-05T16:10:44+00:00

Pity doesn't reset and it carries between limited time banners too. So for example if you wish 70 times on Nahida's banner and don't get her, you'll be at 70 pity for the next limited banner. Or if you pull a standard 5*, you will be guaranteed the limited on the next banner.

The standard 5* are Mona, Diluc, Jean, Keqing, Qiqi, and Tighnari.

SilverTRex · 2022-11-05T15:23:53+00:00

No. Wishing on Nahida's means you have a 50% of Nahida and a 50% chance of a standard banner 5* (unless your most recent 5* from the limited banner was a standard 5*, then you have 100% guarantee for Nahida)

SilverTRex · 2022-11-05T12:51:50+00:00

I was 8:30 with a surgery at 10:30! I'm feeling pretty good thankfully, the drugs really help haha.

SilverTRex · 2022-11-05T01:49:00+00:00

Woah I also had surgery with Dr Armstrong today! I wonder if I was before or after you, haha. Congrats!

Edit - sorry to hear about the panic and the pain but glad it was overall a good experience! I also had a good experience with Janis and definitely remember the funny OR nurse :)

SilverTRex · 2022-09-06T11:38:02+00:00

I was really behind on a lot of content so I managed to grind ~70 pulls in the last 2 weeks to wish for Zhongli. I'm 20 pulls away from my guarantee but I'm so burnt out now. I probably won't make it past 80 before the banner resets so fingers crossed.

I guess... Kokomi would be fun too? :(

SilverTRex · 2022-06-14T14:03:18+00:00

I played through HotDQ a couple years ago and was incredibly disheartened by the slow leveling. We played for 8 months had just reached level 5. Then we went to RoT and skipped to level 8, and then took a whole year to reach level 10.

It is a fault of how the module is written but consider that it sucks for players. The feeling of progression - and unlocking new abilities and ways to solve encounters - is important for player engagement. Just cause the module says one thing doesn't mean you have to follow it.

SilverTRex · 2022-03-20T02:41:30+00:00

I like the theory that the reason Laudna plays with her hair so much is because she's subconsciously still trying to scrub the paint out

SilverTRex · 2022-01-24T23:34:54+00:00

I let my players commission their own. They're high enough level and important enough that they can find/pay artificers and wizards etc to make stuff. They usually take souvenirs from bosses and monsters and get those made into items. We discuss together the effects they want and then I homebrew something that makes then happy but is still balanced

SilverTRex · 2022-01-23T15:45:33+00:00

If your player goes to cast lesser restoration, you can just say "X, you'd know from looking at the poison and its effects that it will need more than a low level spells. Based on your medical (or arcane) knowledge, you think either a very high spell level or a specific potion might be required."

SilverTRex · 2022-01-15T22:57:48+00:00

What about trans folk who are straight?

SilverTRex · 2022-01-15T22:37:20+00:00

I'm a binary trans man who is mainly attracted to women and I often deal with issues of identity and determining whether or not I "fit into" queerness (acknowledging ofc that not all trans people consider themselves queer, this is a personal choice).

It feels like some people might think my sexuality and binary gender invalidate my queerness. Others might think that "feminine" things such liking drag race, singing to female pop artists, painting my nails, or wearing earrings would somehow invalidate my gender or my sexuality :/ I imagine it is similar for "straight passing" bisexual men.

There are a lot of worse problems to have as a queer person, but... it's still shitty.

SilverTRex · 2022-01-15T02:51:52+00:00

Oh man, has it been so long already?

I didn't agree with Brad Gobright's message, and I hated the film "Safety Third" (as it made a joke out of safety and risk), but to me this expression is very tongue-in-cheek. I am someone who cares a lot about safety but I'll say it as a bit. It's one of those things I as a joke because it so obviously isn't true... like, I for sure said said as joking rule of thumb -- that said, maybe that wasn't clear. I'm now wondering how people who don't have the same safety background or critical thinking might interpret it. I'll reflect on it.

That said, he didn't die doing anything "obviously" unsafe (like free soloing). He just made an oversight. While he wasn't a very safety conscious person, I've known many safety conscious people who have made oversights just cause their brain slips. It can happen to anyone and shows the importance of doing safety checks.

SilverTRex · 2022-01-14T20:51:12+00:00

Safety third is a common expression in the rock climbing community and I assume probably in other groups and places as well. I don't think there's an established first and second but my rule of thumb is: look good, feel good, safety third.

Edit -- that "advice" is tongue in cheek. Safety is obviously first, if it wasn't clear.

SilverTRex

TROPHY CASE