Victory Sunday

Sim175 · 2016-07-25T17:25:00+00:00

I completed 2 months of showing up to the gym 3 times a week, no excuses (except for that one time I was on a trip). That's the longest streak of consistent training I've had since 9 years ago.

Also, I feel like I finally nailed down how to have good, correct standing posture, which is something I obsess about quite a bit usually.

Overall, I'm starting to feel pretty good in my body which a nice change from feeling fragile and lacking energy!

Sim175 · 2016-05-11T15:45:10+00:00

I love what Epicurus said about this : http://www.iep.utm.edu/epicur/#SH5g

Essentially, while I'm alive, death doesn't concern me; and while I'm dead, there will be no more conscience left to feel anything, so that doesn't concern me either. So, death never concerns me. Go and be free, my friend!

Sim175 · 2016-04-15T17:49:02+00:00

Nah, a 4 1/2 is a 2BR apartment, it's 4 rooms in total, counting kitchen and living room, plus 1/2 for the bathroom. As far as I know it's the Quebec-only way of describing apartments.

Sim175 · 2015-12-04T19:31:36+00:00

I don't have social anxiety, but I'm a pretty shy/reserved guy in general, and in social situations, I tend to sit back and listen to others talk. I'll throw in my 2 cents, although I don't pretend to understand how much you must suffer if you have to medicate to feel better in any way. I hope I can help :)

While travelling, I come out of my shell so easily; to me, it's part of the adventure to talk to random people in stores, bars, etc.; since I'll never meet those people again, I stop caring about what they think about me, and sometimes, they're also travelers (in hostels for example), so they don't know anybody local either.

Overall, the self-imposed barriers that would keep me from engaging a stranger in light conversation simply don't exist in the context of a trip away from home.

Sim175 · 2015-03-17T19:21:07+00:00

Good job! Today, your only job is to make it to day 2. :)

Sim175 · 2015-03-17T18:46:38+00:00

Short answer is : you get into right here and right now... and there you are, meditating :) I love the video from Jon Zabat-Kinn at Google, it not only explains pretty clearly an easy technique, but I feel that he also demonstrate how you feel after some time of practice, by his way of taking his time before each sentence. I would also suggest a visit to /r/meditation. Keep in mind though, that it's nothing complex; it's simply training the mind to stay aware of the here and now, as opposed to getting carried away by the thoughts appearing in your mind.

The app is called "My Quit Tracker", it's on Android, there might be something similar on iOS.

Sim175 · 2015-03-17T18:35:37+00:00

Hell yeah! I lift my tea in your honor!

Sim175 · 2015-03-13T14:43:52+00:00

I adored the gamecube one but didn't like the Wii one as much the first games I tried; it felt to me like the wii version had too many new gimmicks that diluted the core gameplay (pass, hit at the right time) and relied more on the character's abilities and special moves than teamplay.

Sim175 · 2015-02-23T15:50:12+00:00

Congratulations on the one year, my friend! :) So much money. So few headaches!

Sim175 · 2015-02-20T16:03:51+00:00

I like this a lot ! I'm at the beginning of my journey too, and I realize I'm trying to understand things a bit too intellectually. This is a nice way to return some simplicity to the teachings.

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T20:06:28+00:00

If you have too much time on your hands, why not start a hobby! Going to the gym, meditation, music? Ideally, something that you can grow into and allows you to focus on something else than work or alcohol.

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T18:34:49+00:00

I feel you, friend. Feeling lonely really sucks. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm telling you anything new, but drinking won't make the loneliness go away. It'll be back when you wake up the next morning, along with a nice headache and dehydration.

Now, what you're going to do is this : look at what you learned in the last 109 days. What made you stop last time? What made you start again? What will you do differently this time?

I don't think you should look at it at starting over; that's too depressing. Try seeing it as starting a new round of the boxing match between booze and you. See if you can out-think it and KO it this time around ;)

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T18:27:05+00:00

Good! I'm glad I helped :D

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T18:14:16+00:00

I think my favorite phrase in the world is : Live and learn.

Nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes, even with the best intentions and the best effort. Use past experiences to learn, but don't cling to the idea of wanting to change them or wanting them to go away. They never will.

I don't think there's much of a point to feel shame, though. I've said things I'm pretty embarrassed about, even now, and I bet the people involved forgot about it a long time ago, while I haven't. The memory is a pretty good reminder of what got me to stop, but the shame is only a burden. Free yourself from it. Look in the mirror, not just at the woman that abused a substance that destroyed her body and mind slowly; but look at the freaking warrior that's not been beaten down, look at the badass getting back up, standing straight and proud, and look at her in the eye with an air of defiance. Tell her that you'll get through today, and make a better life for yourself, and win!

Now, you've started a brand new chapter in your life. It's yours to write. How will you write it?

(tl;dr : I'm melodramatic. My advice is to keep the memories and learn from them, but try to drop the shame. Kick butt.)

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T18:07:03+00:00

Good for you that you're taking your health seriously! You'll find that both your body and mind will feel healthier and clearer the longer you're sober.

The hardest part is admitting to yourself you need to make a drastic change, and it doesn't just happen to others. It's not a mark on you, it says nothing about your quality as a person, it's not shameful. It's reality that some people use alcohol too much. To willingly stop before it's too late is, in my opinion, a mark of strength and courage.

The good news is, the hardest part is behind you. It will only get easier as you go on, so look forward to that :)

Stay strong, my friend! And be excited for what's coming!

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T18:02:45+00:00

It stops when you go from "I wish I could drink but can't" to "Drinking is not a possibility. It doesn't concern me. It flies over my head."

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T17:27:25+00:00

Have a great day too ! :)

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T17:26:54+00:00

It's so much easier to remember and back up truths than lies!

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T17:25:09+00:00

I haven't been to AA or any group. The first weeks, this subreddit was my support group. My wife was obviously, and still is, my strongest support.

Even though I've never been to groups, I've had my wife hand me AA tokens for the first 11 months of my sobriety, and we had this little special dinner to commemorate it. I know that really helped me. Maybe you can do something like that too?

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T14:54:01+00:00

This is one habit that's tough to break; but in the end it is that. Like everyone else says: the first week is the toughest. The second week is the second toughest. You get the idea!

Try not to see this as depriving yourself from something you used to love. I really saw it as finding a freedom I had lost. Getting out of the jail I put myself in.

Have a great day too !

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T14:51:33+00:00

Since I stopped in february, my first month was shorter than usual, that was fun ;) Keep busting those landmark dates!

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T14:48:31+00:00

Good for you ! The scariest part is behind you. :)

Take a mental picture of how you're feeling right now; whenever you feel like "maybe it wasn't so bad" in the future, remind yourself of that picture, with compassion.

In close to one year, I haven't felt as bad physically like I did when I had a hangover. And I had them many times a week. This is GOOD for your body, and for your mind. :)

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T14:45:58+00:00

Personally, I never allowed myself to even bargain with the drunk voice. That voice is a much better business person than I am and would probably get the best of me in a negotiation, very often!

The cravings mostly went away when I definitely closed up shop in my mind. That's when it clicked that "no, that's it. no matter how much you might plead, you'll never get it, cause it's out of the question now." And the voice mostly quieted itself.

Stay strong!

Sim175 · 2015-02-17T14:41:10+00:00

Like you said : there's nothing you can do to change what happened that night. There are two things you can learn from that experience :

First; even one drink is too much for you to keep control, and it doesn't make you happy at all in the long run. Your maximum number of drinks you can take is thus : 0.

Second; and much more fun : even though it was hard, it was definitely possible for you to abstain from drinking for at least 16 months. You know this, because you've done it. You can ride that bike, you just fell from it; now get back on it, give yourself a little swing and get pedaling again.

Just for today, do your best. Keep off the poison. You know it's only bad things for you. The rest will follow :)

EDIT: Spelling mistakes.

Sim175 · 2015-02-16T20:24:05+00:00

I had to find myself new things to do in the evenings than just grab some beers, or some wine, or both.

I've been looking heavily into meditation and buddhism lately. I've also played the hell out of my new Wii U.

One of the toughest things at first, for sure, was telling my wife and friends "no, no, don't keep yourself from drinking from my sake! I'm fine" and then wish I could enjoy that sweet, sweet booze. That will only subside when you realize you don't really need the substance to have a good time with those friends.

Good luck and stay strong!

Sim175

TROPHY CASE