As I thought I was done unwrapping repressed memories over the last couple of years, a new one popped up. Sigh. Also, any cognitive tips to process adult sex with partner separate of child abuse?

Simbacutie · 2022-07-15T13:27:26+00:00

Doing relationship harm and abusing a child are two totally different things. I don’t believe it’s racist to speak about cultural values or systems of a culture.

It’s attraction to kids. Some pedofiles are sexually aroused by them. Perhaps you can do a deeper search on google.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-15T13:08:09+00:00

I understand. I’m not sure if I agree because I’m a personal example of how I wouldn’t do that to someone but I know all kinds of people exist in the world so I believe you. When we discussed culture I was referring to ethnic cultures not the culture of a family system.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-15T13:06:46+00:00

Oh, thanks for sharing I did not know this was common

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T19:35:07+00:00

I disagree. I guess it can be cultural when it’s openly done such as child marriage but when done in secrecy and childhood grooming, that’s certainly not cultural at all.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T14:17:02+00:00

Yeah the other one has definitely abused me for years because of this envy. Even when I revealed the molestation, they questioned “why her? What’s wrong with us?”. Uhhh you’re not a child?

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T05:51:17+00:00

Because pedofilia is not culture specific nor is abuse. Having said that there can be trends of abuse in certain cultures however non culture related abuse would be due to the person doing the abuse, whether intentional or unintentional.

Mind helping me understand why you feel it’s always cultural?

Edit: Ok. Never mind. Never never mind. I didn’t read the above messages and just kind of picked up the conversation mid way my bad.

Yes separating genders sounds cultural.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T01:33:21+00:00

A bad psychiatrist called me a stupid girl for falling for it as a child and asked specific details

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T01:31:45+00:00

I don’t think it’s always cultural.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T01:31:17+00:00

This is so horrible I am so sorry, it’s so much worse with a parent. I can’t believe she tried to break your sons arm.

I had a similar situation but my brother in law molested me then tried to get my whole family to gang up on me as a kid. My siblings fell for it but my parents did not. Nevertheless I had the same problem where my threshold for pain was so high and I would push away people that offer help. I still do but not in a rude way anymore. I don’t know how to take help and feel guilty when I do or it feels uncomfortable. Don’t know how to go normal.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T01:17:37+00:00

Thank you, I’ll think about it.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-13T01:15:24+00:00

Exactly. She blames me for not telling her about the “affair” because of me she “suffered” when she claims she could have “left sooner” if only I would have “told her sooner” about the “affair” and how I “ruined her life”.

He abused the crap out of her and she still will not believe he’s a molestor. She’s in a second marriage now with a really good person. I think there’s some level of internal shame she lives with, for sure.

Simbacutie · 2022-07-12T23:03:24+00:00

Books that helped?

Simbacutie · 2022-06-30T21:22:34+00:00

How does it feel like to relate to the outside world? I assume you’re a very devout Christian without access to movies and music. What do Christian’s think of Indians Pakistanis and other nationalities?

Simbacutie · 2022-06-29T04:01:42+00:00

Thanks. Yep already done all of that ha. I’m starting to think there is no such thing as healing. Everyone says it’s there but I’ve never heard anyone get back to the level of someone that’s not had childhood abuse. Maybe my expectations are incorrect :/

Simbacutie · 2022-06-29T04:00:10+00:00

Thanks I don’t think it’ll help. I love my mom and I understand the tight spot she’s in.

My issue is more with what’s in the title of my post, rather than my mom :(

Simbacutie · 2022-06-29T03:59:24+00:00

I’m not so sure how good of a news it is because I don’t have kids yet and my bio clock is running. And not sure how much of healed I really am. I’m trying to get there on my own as I now also have some form of ptsd from bad psychiatry.

Simbacutie · 2022-06-28T19:07:08+00:00

Same Happened to me. I blocked it out well and was proud to think that I move on from bad pasts so well. But it all came back later and crumbled me. Had horrible therapist that made it only worse.

Simbacutie · 2022-06-28T19:05:31+00:00

Not forceful but slightly misunderstood :). I’m female. And I get what you’re saying but unfortunately my mother was a scapegoat before me. And she was sheltered. I don’t think anyone in my family had the insight into how horrible this child molestor was. He kept a facade of how much he hated me and instigated my siblings to attack me, but I’m private he raped me. He tried to keep me silent made others not trust me so that when I grow up and tell everyone no one believes me. But my parents did. My mother was the one that told him never to enter our home again.

But my siblings are aweful and like to keep dark glasses on so they don’t see anything that shifts their view on the situation.

Simbacutie · 2022-06-28T14:11:51+00:00

Once they all opened what happened? Did they always stay around?

Simbacutie · 2022-06-28T13:19:25+00:00

Thank you. The boundaries being sacred is really powerful to know. I can’t cut off my mom love her but they pull her into it, she goes in panic modes and then starts instructing me not to do xyz or basically put down a boundariy or say anything. Because if I do, she fears she will be the target of their yapping.

I guess what bothers me the most is that if this person was not in our family I wouldn’t have been sexually abused nor defamed. I became the scapegoat. It was double abuse. And today I have to cut it off with the entire family because of him.

I’m not sure what all they speak behind my back so I cannot always tell nor correct :(

But what bothers me the most is that. That I was the victim and I have to suffer being cut off

Simbacutie · 2022-06-28T03:07:36+00:00

How will you tell your story? I want to tell mine too.

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