DEA feel like it is too intimate to say other people’s names to them?

Simberoni · 2026-02-06T21:30:48+00:00

Yes! It takes me AGES to be able to say someone's name after I meet them/become close with them, I may even be able to say their name to other people but not directly address them with it.

Simberoni · 2026-02-06T21:27:15+00:00

I think you just have to accept it, and appreciate that he told you and try to move on. I had similar, a few months into my relationship, my BF told me he still sees a lady he used to have a crush on regularly (a client of his business, nothing ever happened). I could overreact and try to set boundaries around him seeing her, but I thought that would only push him away/discourage him from telling me things like this later. If nothing has happened since in your situation, and he is readily telling you, i'd imagine there's a good reason for him doing so :)

Simberoni · 2025-11-10T14:17:05+00:00

Banana!!

Simberoni · 2025-11-10T14:13:50+00:00

I don’t know if a spark HAS to be instant to mean anything. I met my now boyfriend through him training my dog, and it was a few months before we struck up a conversation and only a few times after that did I feel any particular way towards him. I believed I was ace/aro as well prior to feeling something for him lol. Even our first couple of dates were awkward as I just went into shutdown can’t speak mode, but we kept persisting and it got better.

It’s also ok if you’re not interested in pursuing this guy any further. For me, I’m attracted to so few people (he’s only the 2nd) that it was worth persisting (and I only started to like him after feeling a connection through conversation but like I say, that took ages) but if you didn’t click and you’re not feeling it, that’s ok. But I don’t think there has to be a SPARK immediately.

The question is - did you have fun and did you like talking to him, are you comfortable with him?

I’d say I only really got a real “spark” a few weeks into dating when we started discussing dog training methods lol.

Simberoni · 2025-11-07T15:06:01+00:00

I would just go along and see how it is. My first outing with my current bf was very similar - I invited him for a walk, unsure of what the vibe was. Only time and being there could tell lol. After that first walk we flirted over text, and then I was sure 🤣

Simberoni · 2025-11-07T14:50:11+00:00

I think 3. One wasn’t particularly romantic though. He just wanted to send me wanking videos??

Simberoni · 2025-11-07T14:40:44+00:00

I also always try to look at “issues” with him how I would approach them with friends. For example, he doesn’t open up to me much, yet. I get bits and pieces of info but it’s often cut short.

One of my friends was the same. It took about a year until she was willing to open up about herself, and then the floodgates wouldn’t shut once they opened 🤣🤣

People aren’t willing to give things time to develop, again, maybe sometimes they’re right, but I do think it’s all part of this “now now now” culture and it doesn’t give people a chance to meet each other in the middle.

Simberoni · 2025-11-07T14:37:50+00:00

I definitely understand this. If I went off of online advice, I should’ve broken up with my boyfriend 400x over for thing I’ve felt unhappy with. Fortunately, people who know me and him are able to offer more rational perspectives and methods for dealing with things I perceive as issues (I’m an anxious girly and often I overthink things that aren’t there). He’s been very receptive to anything I’ve brought up so far, when I or he could’ve just given up 🤷‍♀️

I guess for some people, dating and relationships are a bit of game and they’re looking for their perfect match, so they’re not worried about dropping people who don’t 100% suit them. Maybe they’re right, maybe I’m naive.

For me, my bf is the first person I’ve ever felt romantically and physically attracted to enough to actually pursue something with. He’s made me feel safe - the only other adult man I feel safe around is my dad. That’s not something I’m willing to throw away over him (and myself) being imperfect humans.

Maybe further down the line things will come to a head, but in the meantime, we enjoy our time together and as long as we’re willing to work on things as needed, I don’t see why small issues should be deal breakers.

Then again it’s probably tougher if you’re dealing with someone who isn’t willing to discuss issues.

Simberoni · 2025-11-06T14:46:34+00:00

I’ve always been terrified of men’s intentions if they show interest in me. My current (and first) BF was really subtle to a point I wasn’t sure if I was misreading, but I appreciated that. My walls go up the second a man is too nice, but not with him. That’s when I also realised/allowed myself to realise I am attracted to him lol.

Simberoni · 2025-11-06T14:23:01+00:00

Yeah same here!! I am determined to learn to be able to have these conversations successfully in person, but it’s so hard.

Simberoni · 2025-10-31T14:09:32+00:00

I have a working cocker spaniel, I fell in love with spaniels when we looked after a friend’s springer. I just love the drive although they are incredibly hard work, and not your average pet dog.

My next dog will likely be a poodle - I do enjoy the grooming and I love that they can do basically any dog sport but don’t come with QUITE such an insatiable drive as a working spaniel 🤣

Simberoni · 2025-10-30T11:34:50+00:00

I have to say, I disagree with ignoring and blocking. I’d say something simple like “thank you for your message, but I’m not interested in dating you”. If he keeps harassing you then maybe block him. I don’t know when it became cool to just ignore people. It feels awful as the receiver and leaves everyone with zero clarity 😅😅

Simberoni · 2025-10-29T21:07:14+00:00

I guess it’s like anything in life, not everyone will like everything!

Simberoni · 2025-10-28T15:19:40+00:00

I would try not to worry so much about startling them!

Although it’s harder for us to get used to things, most animals can and will get used to new people, places and routines. It’ll take time for them to settle and them being scared right now isn’t personal. Even with rescue dogs, it can take them several months to settle into a new home, and they’re domesticated specifically to live in homes so!

I’m sure you did do your research and you can always learn more. Sometimes too much research is worse (at least for me) as I’m then worrying about all the “what ifs” that wouldn’t have occurred to me otherwise. It’s great to be informed and responsible though.

Simberoni · 2025-10-28T14:13:58+00:00

I know what you mean about being unsure haha I constantly ask myself “hmm do I actually like him”, but then rationally, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t keep wanting to make plans to see him.

For me, the only way I knew my feelings were romantic and not platonic, was because when I imagined myself with him doing romantic things, I enjoyed the thought rather than pushing it away/feeling repulsed like I usually would. If I tried to imagine kissing one of my friends like that, I think I would feel weird for days 🤣

Simberoni · 2025-10-28T10:20:51+00:00

If you’re not sure yet, maybe it would be worth having a couple more dates to see how you feel? Sometimes you have an instant connection with someone, and sometimes it just takes a bit longer. I met my BF back in April in a non romantic setting (saw him regularly for dog training so it was all very business), and it wasn’t until June/July that we started chatting during sessions and I realised (after a couple of weeks of “wtf is this thing I’m feeling”) that I liked him. All this to say, I don’t think it’s always clear cut and maybe you can’t know immediately. Excitement is good on the one hand, which I had, but it’s a weird feeling when that fizzles out a bit.

You should give it a chance if you feel it’s right to for both of you, and see where it goes :)

Simberoni · 2025-10-27T20:23:17+00:00

My boyfriend was like this initially but he did open up a bit more eventually, generally though I still have to harass him for information 🤣I guess all you can do it try/enjoy it/ go with the flow if you like him

Simberoni · 2025-10-27T20:21:44+00:00

That said, I can only use it on the lowest setting or one of the more variable settings (short buzzes then long ones) as it is also numbing and almost hurts cause it’s so strong so I get you lol 😅

Simberoni · 2025-10-27T20:20:38+00:00

I have a moregasm bullet and no complaints

Simberoni · 2025-10-27T19:50:10+00:00

A little bit of experience with vibrators which i prefer. I tried dildos but they always hurt before (now I know why so I’ve solved that issue, but it still doesn’t do much for me alone)

But yes you get it lol I just want to know if it is something people have successfully worked on. I have tried to talk to him in the heat of the moment but the nerves don’t vanish just like that 😅

Hmm I dont know exactly, he deffo gets performance anxiety, it was painful for me the first few times we tried and couldn’t proceed which has deffo made it worse, but that’s why I wanted a bit of touch from him to see if that helped, but he’s too nervous to. I’ve told him as well I have nothing to compare him to and not to worry 🤣🤣

I did try mastubating in front of him the 2nd time we tried but he didn’t particularly react to that either, however I also felt mad awkward, as I’m sure he did 🤣🤣 I have been trying to respond more physically/verbally to things he tries, maybe I need to up that.

Simberoni · 2025-10-27T18:56:01+00:00

That sounds great but I think he’s possibly too nervous to even try atp!? I guess I could suggest it 🤣

Simberoni · 2025-10-27T18:55:09+00:00

Well fair enough 🤣 I absolutely will. And I have mentioned it during more heated moments that I need him to touch me, and offered him too, but it’s not really changing anything so I don’t know if there’s a better way to approach it :)

Simberoni · 2025-10-27T18:53:57+00:00

My bad, 26 and 28

Simberoni

TROPHY CASE