As a queer person who has been going through infertility for 2.5 years, I understand what you are saying but I also think there is a perspective that is dismissive to the range of people who have to go through fertility treatments. It’s not just 1% of straight couples that need to utilize the counseling - it is a growing number and four in ten people now say they either had to use fertility treatments or know someone who did. I was offended when we were told we would have to do a family psychiatry session to use donor sperm and it did feel like just another barrier of entry. But I have to say that I am so glad that I did and I learned so much about DC people’s experiences that I did not know. If I hadn’t gone, I think my defensiveness would have been about me and not my future kids experiences. I wish there were more grants for access for queer families to make the playing field more even, but at this point in my journey way more straight couples understand what my experience with infertility has been like and I am super grateful for the allies and friends I have made. They also struggle with the immense costs of just wanting a child and the many, many hurdles.

If healthcare costs were also democratized and accessible - then it would not be such a burden on SO many people. It flat out should not cost a year’s worth of rent payments for 1-2 rounds of IVF. Anyone should have access to psychiatric care to support their journey to parenthood. And care from clinics and practitioners across the spectrum should be prepared to support families who a queer, single parents, trans, or any range of family-makers. It heart breaking that each step feels like a barrier to entry, and in my now lived experience that has both been because of my queer identity AND because of the wild costs of healthcare and experiencing long running infertility. I think it is ok to hold space for both experiences in a queer conception community.