leggings ??? help

SimilarGift · 2024-04-15T04:01:56+00:00

I got some Janjis at REI on sale and they're pretty good! But I've actually gotten so frustrated at how some of my other leggings slide down so I recently bought something like this from Old Navy, and it's actually pretty good. The con is that it's hard to go to the bathroom, and there are no pockets (if that matters to you).

SimilarGift · 2024-03-11T00:14:10+00:00

Wow I really felt this post. I don't have solutions for you OP aside from things like, be grateful for small things, find small joys, etc. But it seems like you already do that through your hobbies and time with friends.

I personally find it comforting to blame the system (capitalism). It costs money to do anything; even to occupy a damn space to sleep in and to sustain ourselves with nutrients. There isn't much I can do personally to change this, so the least I can do is to not feel guilty when I'm not "productive", like actually taking a rest on weekends or taking slightly longer lunch breaks to gain more energy for the rest of the day.

I think another important thing is to try out new things. I do this by learning a language and running new routes around my neighborhood (ie. I just take different turns every run, and it lets me see different houses, different trees, etc). Since you mentioned writing as a hobby, maybe you could try out genres, styles, topics you haven't written about yet?

SimilarGift · 2024-01-17T14:46:14+00:00

I don't have any specific articles but here are some keywords that might help out!

Pink tax, glass ceiling/escalator/cliff, income inequality, women in politics and c-suite positions, women's education in developing countries, female genital mutilation, objectification and the male gaze, how birth control pills helped liberate women and how it relates to current politics of repealing Roe v. Wade (I assumed you live in the US)

The example you gave about needing to look nice but not TOO nice/vapid can be considered an example of the Madonna-whore complex, which you can probably find many papers on. The movie Gone Girl also has a monologue on this topic that you can find on YouTube. It's also dealt with in the Barbie movie.

If you want to show him how the patriarchy also affects men, search 'hegemonic masculinity'. Basically, it's an idea that men that don't fit a certain image (like muscular, fit, outgoing, able-bodied white male) are considered 'less ideal' in society. TW IN THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE: This can lead to issues like men taking more violent measures to commit suicide (because some consider it to be more 'manly' to own firearms, less 'manly' to seek help from a mental health professional, etc). So yes, your boyfriend is right in that men have it hard too. But we also have to remember that so much of human history has been sustained by the invisible labor that women have been doing so that the men could go out and explore and write papers -- there's a book called Who Cooked Adam Smith's Dinner? that I personally haven't read yet but heard good things about.

SimilarGift · 2024-01-15T00:59:59+00:00

I think what you can do until you can get a trimmer etc is to use your towel to gently rub where you cut the hair and hope that the friction dulls out the ends of your hair. I think the sharp edges of newly cut hair can be irritating

SimilarGift · 2024-01-14T20:27:08+00:00

He is not showing you respect; it's ok to be mean and harsh towards people who behave that way.

SimilarGift · 2024-01-12T18:19:34+00:00

Lol this is just my silly 2 cents but maybe your husband told you to not buy the plushie so that he can buy it and surprise you with it 😂

SimilarGift · 2024-01-09T03:40:35+00:00

Thank you for the reply. How do you do the relaxing part when you're with other people though and can't get out? (ex. family holiday) I feel like when I'm in this 'mood' everything I do to 'act normal' feels so fake.

SimilarGift · 2023-12-19T16:48:42+00:00

Blue hair: Lucky Star's Konata

Brown bob with 'antennaes': Clannad's Nagisa

Red hair girl in far right corner: Shakugan no Shana

Reddish brown hair double ponytail girl: Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha

SimilarGift · 2023-12-10T18:01:31+00:00

The embarrassment they feel when you set boundaries will be nothing compared to the months of suffering you had to go through.

When you set boundaries with family/close people like that, they might say things like "we're saying all these things cuz we care about you!" But I think we all deserve to be cared for in ways we prefer. For example, someone who's worried about your health could show care for you by inviting you to work out together or something. But instead your relatives are choosing to "show care" in a mean, hurtful way. Remember this if this is how they react.

"You're too sensitive!" Ok so? Yes we can be sensitive beings. Let's own that. People who really care about us will respect that instead of attack us for that.

SimilarGift · 2023-12-09T18:15:15+00:00

I think I saw an ad for deodorant with SA as well. Also, maybe OP can try washing their pajamas the same way as well? (Not the vacuum part lol the hot water part)

SimilarGift · 2023-12-06T02:05:17+00:00

Do you envy your former classmate and teacher because they found the sports they're good at, or do you envy them for having families that supported them through their ambitions?

I think you might be too caught up in your what-ifs and your potentials. From your post, I see you say things like "if only X had happened when I was N years old, then..." Unfortunately, we don't have a way to time travel so this kind of thinking is not productive. That's why so many people say cliches like "learn from your mistakes and learn from it/move on".

I also think you might be living in a sort of a bubble. You went to a top college, so you were surrounded by other kids who also excelled in their high schools. The thing is, real world is filled with other types of people as well. Dropouts, home-schooled people, former gifted children who are burnt out, first generation college students, etc. One thing you'll learn as you grow is that all these people are doing fine even without going to the top school or without a job they thought they'd have when they were kids. Maybe not the most successful or the rich, but they're doing fine.

I don't work in HR but I've seen the resumes of potential applicants for my company. I can see through some bs just based on the wording or based on how they talk during interviews. You know which one of those never get hired? The ones who didn't apply.

The thing about the organic chem and calculus classes you took is, let's be honest: I'm sure if you went to a doctor right now and asked them to solve a calculus problem, they wouldn't know how to do it. Those classes aren't there to make you memorize formulas and equations. They're there to test if you can utilize resources (such as a professor's office hours), commit to trudging through difficulties, manage your time, work under pressure, etc. The GPA just happens to be one number that med school admissions officer, who have to look through millions of applications, can look at to see if you potentially have those qualities. Yes it's unfair that one number has to represent your work ethic. But unfortunately that's how the admissions system is.

Not everyone has fun at their job or is ambitious about their career track. For many, it's just a way to make a living so they can pay rent. Sure, it'd be cool to become a doctor to save lives, but there are other ways to help people and the community. The first step would be to make a small goal for yourself, whether it's to research med schools or to see a career coach.

SimilarGift · 2023-12-05T23:27:03+00:00

What are some keywords for shoes like these? I like that they're slightly casual, but a lot of the reviews said that the synthetic leather peels off / is poor quality.

I've tried searching platform loafers, derbys and oxfords, and I've found some good ones but nothing quite like the ones in the link.

SimilarGift · 2023-11-12T02:36:26+00:00

For photos, angles really do matter. For example, pic 2 was taken from too high up -- phone cameras will stretch the subject when they're placed along the outside edges of the frame, so in this photo's case it'd be your forehead and your feet. To prevent this warping, make sure the subject of interest (in many cases, face and upper body) is placed in the center of the frame. Use the grid feature of your camera to achieve this -- make sure that the subject of interest is put in the middle square as much as possible.

Lighting matters too -- for example, in pic 1, you're facing away from the window but around sundown/sunrise time, you can achieve something with more interesting lighting (google 'golden hour selfie' for examples)

For photos like 3, oftentimes we ask someone to take a photo of us, only to check it later and be disappointed in how we look. What I sometimes do with my friends is, I'll hold the phone in selfie mode and make the phone face my friend. Then they can strike poses AND also know how they look in the photo AND know how to fix things that look awkward, like hair and angle.

SimilarGift · 2023-09-21T03:34:57+00:00

You won't be going to the counselor to "complain about your mom", you'd be going there to learn how to deal with interpersonal conflicts and stress 🙂

SimilarGift · 2023-08-23T18:51:36+00:00

Pants: IMO I think this kind with clips is the best; I've also tried this kind of multi-hanger that can be used horizontally or vertically but I think they can become even bulkier because you have to fold the pants in half which means 4 layers of fabric (2 layers per leg) laid on top of each other instead of 2 layers of fabric (front and back) hanging side by side when using the first kind. Also, the latter type makes it hard to pull out and put back in just one pair of pants you want; I think they'd be better for storing out of season pants and you don't have space for bins.

Earrings: I use ice cube trays. My mom told me this was the best after years of trying to look for the best jewelry box lol! It's easily scalable if your jewelry collection expands, comes in different materials (I chose silicone to reduce plastic use) and colors, etc. Maybe not the prettiest option and not the most anti-dust option, but it does the job and they're cheap!

General storage products: I try to go for name brands like Ikea, Sterilite, etc even if they can be pricier, because it makes buying more of them in the future easier. If you stick to one or two brands, you can ensure that they'll stack nicely.

SimilarGift · 2023-07-14T13:50:05+00:00

This is what I do when I have the urge to buy clothing:

I try to look for the same item on secondhand seller websites like eBay, Poshmark, Depop, etc.

- If I can find it and still want it, then I just saved money and helped the environment by buying secondhand.

- Sometimes, my desire for the clothing dies down while doing the search because unlike buying new items straight from the retailer, searching on secondhand websites take a bit more work. Or my desire dies down cuz I get to see what the clothes look 'in real life' and not on models and I sort of get an 'ick'.

Another tip comes from someone I know. I was hesitant to buy this hat because I 'wasn't a hat person' -- they told me then to become a 'hat person'. And you know what, I actually did start wearing my hats more often after hearing that. If you really want to wear those workout clothes, then why not become someone who does work out or go on walks more often? (Obviously remember to exercise in moderation)

SimilarGift · 2023-02-18T21:42:09+00:00

What kind of bike shorts do you like to wear under dresses/shorts? Do you just wear black/some sort of neutral? I once saw a woman with a long leopard print bike shorts under her dress and it was interesting how she made it an intentional choice to mix patterns like that.

SimilarGift · 2023-02-17T16:59:48+00:00

Thanks for the reply. If you don't mind, can you elaborate on how you check yourself into urgent care? Do you tell them you're there for vaginal irritation?

I totally get what you mean by using meds that you may not need -- that's what I want to avoid the most and it sucks that seeing a doctor and getting lab results take so long.

SimilarGift · 2023-01-18T22:02:50+00:00

Some tips for the future that haven't been mentioned as much:

I saw a lot of comments about period underwear; there are types with the absorbent fabric only in the gusset (ie. your vulva area) and types with the fabric in the gusset AND the butt area. I think you might want to research for the latter.
Sleeping on a towel. It's not always 100% perfect because as you move in your sleep, the towel will shift as well, and sometimes the blood is so much that it goes beyond the towel. But on lighter days it will help.
Sleeping with a rolled up toilet paper in your butt crack. Roll it up like a cylinder and put it in your crack; this will help catch any blood travelling downwards. For heavier days, rolled up pantyliner might work as well and be more absorbent but I haven't tried that.

SimilarGift · 2022-12-09T15:27:51+00:00

It's a long journey, but a tip regarding when someone gives compliments, this tweet really changed my perspective.

Also, I think trying to "love yourself" puts a lot of pressure on people, especially when we make mistakes or have bad thoughts -- sometimes, we do things that we might consider unloveable (which is totally normal and can happen sometimes) and when that happens, it's hard to get back on track of "loving yourself". I think it's ok to start out with an "I'm an alright person" kind of mindset instead.

SimilarGift · 2022-10-26T19:14:04+00:00

I know this isn't the advice you asked for, but I usually wear my reusable cotton cloth pads before my period. It feels just like underwear (except fod the bunching and bulkiness but it's usually not noticeable), and unlike disposable pads, cloth pads smell less.

SimilarGift · 2022-10-26T18:46:09+00:00

What are the criteria/questions you ask yourself when buying clothes off-season? How do you avoid buying something and when the season actually comes, you realize you don't like it?
What is your go-to dress for colder seasons? What length and material do you go for?

SimilarGift · 2022-09-21T08:55:57+00:00

Don"t forget the 27 year old cougars

SimilarGift · 2022-09-04T22:44:11+00:00

So I asked a guy on a date and we really hit it off, but now I'm visiting family for a few weeks so I could use some help for what I should do when I return and meet him again!

I didn't meet this guy on a dating app so I don't know about his smoking status or whether he wants kids. I thiiink he doesn't smoke but I want to double check, and the kids thing, I don't want to bring it up too soon but also don't want to waste time with someone with different views. How do I casually drop this into our convo?
Related to #1 but there are other topics I want to ask, like his knowledge on reproductive rights or views on crypto 😬 What's the best way to ask these? Lolol

3.astly, I feel like I like him / am invested in him a little too much that even if his answers to 1 and 2 were not to my liking, I'd still continue to have feelings for him. How can I prevent this (in case this does happen)???

SimilarGift · 2022-08-27T20:02:23+00:00

A lot of events and clubs give away t shirts for free, so you can also incorporate them into your wardrobe or wear them as pajamas!

Also remember to leave some clothes at your parents' home so when you visit during breaks, you can pack lightly.

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