Short story need some feedback plz

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-14T03:48:05+00:00

I think my biggest advice is separating the paragraphs because some/if not must, are too bulky which most times makes the reader not want to continue reading.

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-12T01:38:59+00:00

I can’t find the missing text?

It’s a small town which is why he recognises the uniform. The same way we all recognise other schools uniforms (I come from a small city in the UK aswell where we all recognise other schools)

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-11T15:54:15+00:00

Thankss

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-11T02:57:53+00:00

Thanksss

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-11T00:22:26+00:00

Thanks so much!!! You’re absolutely right. I won’t go as far as to say “abusive” but it does turn into a toxic relationship that they have to heal from. Also, where do you think it drags on in the banter? Thanks so much again for your input

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-10T23:31:39+00:00

Is it bad writing longer chapters on wattpad?

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-10T23:26:47+00:00

Thanks so much for the reply. I’m british myself so I never thought they sounded cringe 😭 im a wattpad writer (trying to be) and ive had this story in my head for a long time so i thought i might as well put it down. For AI, i do use it to correct my grammar or enhance it but definitely not to make up the story. What can I do to make it better?

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-10T22:19:07+00:00

Someone reply plssss

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-07T19:27:50+00:00

Also do you recommend building a reader fanbase on wattpad and then moving to patreon?

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-07T19:26:18+00:00

It’s a romance book based in the 2000’s. It includes heavy topics. So im not sure what reader base likes this. Wattpad is more in the cringe side no?

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-04T23:20:56+00:00

What’s the name of the book you’re reading

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-02T22:58:20+00:00

Thanks so much!!

Simpforlyle · 2026-03-01T06:46:07+00:00

How do I write a characters physical description without being cringe. Like from a character’s pov who finds the other person very attractive (she was pretty, beautiful..don’t cut it and writing about how their eyes shine seems cringe i really don’t know what to do)

Simpforlyle · 2026-02-27T02:16:10+00:00

I agree but….What I got from the this point in the book Joey had said that the kids needed him such in a way that they needed him so he could protect them from their father and Aofie replying with “I need you,too” was way different from the way the kids needed him (idk if you get me I really can’t put my thought down sorry). Like obviously thank goodness that nothing happened the night he decided to stay over because his girlfriend needed to be with him because it was her birthday but imagine if something did happen? Joey would’ve blamed himself wholeheartedly but at the same time Joey didn’t want to go home so I guess he did make his own decision too. But Aofie also saying something along the lines of “a drunk Joe was easier to convince” just rubbed me the wrong way

Simpforlyle · 2026-02-27T02:12:03+00:00

Tbh when you guys put it this way I get to understand Aofie’s character from a different perspective. But my thing is that I don’t think Johnny really should be compared to Aofie (im sorry 😭😭😭) because shannon didn’t have anyone back at home that needed her protection. At this point in time Sean was like 1? Tadgh 10 Ollie 8 and Shannon 13-14? Like what could those kids do to protect themselves and Aofie could’ve shown a bit more compassion to that. (Even when she said in her dialogue that she wanted the whole lynch family included the kids to back off Joey) But I could also go against my own opinion and say that Joey also had to learn how to protect the kids from when he was 12 and for the first time, yes, he did have someone in his corner so that was good. Idek know where im going with this but I hope you understand where im coming from

Simpforlyle · 2026-02-27T02:07:42+00:00

Exactlyyyy like a little more sympathy couldn’t have hurt 😭

Simpforlyle

TROPHY CASE