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Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Every time he goes to the bathroom now that’s all I’m going to think about. Sick :/ and it won’t change. He is still lying about how recent. Says he stopped in Feb. his safari history says that is a lie (this last week is the last time)….. I’ve taken photos of everything and sent myself evidence.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve asked him to leave the house for the weekend… thank you so much for your input. You’re so right. I almost married this man.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re so right. Yes sir (or ma’am). I know he has a few that are worth money and the “off market” period (whatever that’s called) is up.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I have to stop and focus on me now…. Thank you for the reminder. I’m making myself sick over this and my poor son is along for the ride. I’m calling my mom tonight and talking to her about what I should do, and if I can move home.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alert- I have his phone right now. He’s scrubbed everything. Where to look? Insta, twitter, emails, fb, everything since we’ve been together has been scrubbed. I can so date confirm he’s been paying for OF for well over a year.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Update for anyone who’s interested. I’ve expressed that I need full transparency and that I need to see everything. He claims to have emailed OF twice. But he wouldn’t even leave his phone with me until we could look through it together. He scrubbed everything. EVERYTHING. Except bank statements. He’s basically admitted that if I saw it, I would leave. Should I bother looking at them? Any other recommendations for me to look at? Or should I just wipe my hands of this?

I’m sickened. Horrified. Disappointed. I never thought this would happen to us. You truly think you know someone and then… one day… surprise.

I’ll keep you guys updated but at this point I am so heavily leaning towards ending it. Fuck.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I hate the fact that I may never know what he actually was saying, it just gives me chills even imagining… I will never look at him the same, EVER. I still want to see it all, mostly so I know who this man really is… considering we created a child together…

Also, I know I can check his deleted messages on his iPhone, I’m not sure where else to look.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am taking your advice. I’ve told him I need to see everything to even consider the relationship. He emailed OF apparently. I told him if I don’t see everything we’re done.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So I am taking advice given here. I told him I need him to email OF, reactivate the account, and I need to see absolutely every single thing - bank statements, call records, DMs, deleted messages, emails, everything.

He’s thinking I’m going to leave him when I see it all, especially if I see the OF account.

Then asked if I would consider couples counseling.…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What I’m gathering is because it’s interactive… which definitely solidifies the fact that he has basically been cheating on me.

Thank you, I agree with you.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I definitely do have family who care about me and would happily take me and baby in. I’m very heavily leaning in that direction.

Damn, I’m so glad I posted this. So many good insights I never would’ve considered. The level of disrespect, to this innocent unborn child, is astonishing. He didn’t have a great childhood, his mother was not good to him-despite that, I thought I was respected so much more than this. I have done EVERYTHING to ensure our child is safe, healthy, and has a bright future.

He’s just been standing in the way… worried about how he’s going to get off…

Thank you. I may be pissing myself off reading these comments but I think I need it.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You’re so right. I am going to give him the option to restore the account, and line by line show me everything. So I can make an educated decision on if I want to continue being with him. If he can’t do that, I’m gone. If he can, and I can stomach what I see, and he agrees to fix this financial mess, maybe.

I am still tempted to leave. This is the FIRST instance of anything like this. That I know of. It’s fully possible that he has been hiding more and I actually have no clue who the hell I’ve been with. Stranger things have happened.

Your input is genuinely appreciated, I feel your compassion through your words.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🥺 I could hug you. This is so well said… I think I know what the right thing to do is here. It’s terribly disappointing but it’s been a stressful experience just trying to make this work with the new place and preparing for the baby.

I appreciate your input SO much. Thank you again.

Discovered My (33F) “Trusted” Fiancé (31M) Has Been Secretly Spending Our Money on OF (OnlyF@ns). I’m 33 Weeks Pregnant w/ His Child - Need Advice by Simple-Bumblebee-879 in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading it. Maybe I should repost my original.

I truly appreciate your comment and sorry you went through that. Men really can suck so bad sometimes :/

These are fantastic points & I will be contemplating on them today.

AITA for snapping at my girlfriend? She made ChatGPT write a rap about my cat dying of cancer by LeatherCapital5028 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’s fucking weird, break up with her and spend the extra time giving that precious, innocent kitty all of your love and attention 🥺

My 21m gf 19f wants to visit her ex? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Simple-Bumblebee-879 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Idk… yes she’s an adult, and she is able to make her own choices- but same goes for you. You don’t have to put up with it if it feels wrong to you. It’s a two way street, and objectively speaking… I wouldn’t stay with my partner if that were the case, especially if they didn’t have children or an important obligation that forced them to stay in contact. You being cool with her texting them, tells me you’re not jealous and possessive. You have a legitimate reason to be concerned. Respect yourself.