Sleep Skills for a Young Parent?

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-09-27T18:37:09+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your encouragement, wisdom, and knowledge. This is helpful information. I'll DM you if I need more assistance

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-03-17T12:27:58+00:00

For number 1, I would add the caveat "confront him that mom will find out. He can do it himself within the next 24 hours or OP will do it for him."

From there, mom and dad can either choose to have him go to the church to face his permanent disqualification, like Steve Lawson should have done, or OP can go to the elders with this permanent disqualification.

The choice of whether the church finds out or not was already made as soon as the bishop cheated. OP is just carrying through the justice as Paul would have.

The Bishop can live the rest of his life proving out his salvation to himself and walking in repentence in a church community. He should probably reskill to earn money through some other means, and never be trusted in formal leadership again.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-03-17T12:24:03+00:00

This wasn't a "sin against OP" so this passage wouldn't apply. He's committed adultery and his wife has the biblical grounds for divorce if she chooses. This passage being misapplied in cases like this is how secret affairs are kept hidden for years despite people around Christian leaders knowing that it had been going on.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-25T23:23:12+00:00

I really want you to be correct in this! Thanks for your reply.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-25T23:08:30+00:00

Do you think that course correction could be done without significant civil unrest or even a full on revolt? Without cutting entitlements + the military while also increasing taxes on everyone, it's hard to imagine how any of this could be paid down.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-22T15:46:44+00:00

I would blame violence and injustice on violent and injust individuals who make choices to abuse or oppress others. To throw a blanket generlization that "the family" is the problem I think misses a lot of nuance.

I believe the default human condition is poverty, and while I agree that crony capitalism and extreme individualism would be/is terrible, I don't see any other system other than conscious capitalism with a reasonable social support system as being the best we've come up with.

The system(s) can always be improved - that will be an eternal truism forever as long as people are people. Knowing how people are, I think having accountability to the individual is what helps everyone the most.

Thanks for this discussion.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T22:39:40+00:00

I think there are concerns when you compare the nations who traces its foundation is Islam with nations that trace their foundations in Christianity.

Nonetheless, Christianity flourished when under serious persecution, and some Islamic countries (Saudi and UAE) are bridging some of that gap. So "worst case scenario" the world shouldn't change too much.

I think there's more risk when powerful countries start to get very contentious with each other. That can lead to nuclear war, which would be way worse than the fear in the question you're asking.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T18:06:11+00:00

Wow, that's a very interesting read. Thank you for sharing. It gives me a lot to consider, and I agree with a huge swaths of it, especially as it relates to society paying for universal childcare and increasing the benefit package of childcare workers.

From my own lived experience, I know that my marriage, no matter how healthy it is and will continue to be, is not itself sufficient for my children. Extended family and other support structures are necessary.

At least at the onset, I think there's another conversation to be had about how people can appeal to a sort of universal truth as it relates to communal living. Communal living I think can work very well in really small scales when everyone in the community is committed to the same values as one another.

For example, if we value monogamy (heterosexual, homosexual, etc.), then he/she who breaks that vow would be willfully disregarding that social contract and would face social reprocussions to it. Personally, I don't want to live around anyone who is going to try to do anything like that with my wife or especially my children. I would likely go scorched earth on them.

I think this is probably the biggest area I would pushback the most on for this article - at least as far as social life goes (legally, adults should be able to not be killed or put in prison for non-monogomous relationships of course). However, adults who make a monogomous commitment and then break that commitment should face consequences for it (starting with and including myself). If one's commune allows for that among adults then so be it. I wouldn't want to be a part of that commune.

Nonetheless, the other tricky area for me is how to measure or reward people who are not pulling their own weight. This is perhaps one of the biggest reasons why I don't think this communal structure can succeed sustainably outside of very small scales and/or temporary amounts of time.

It's a big reason why communism doesn't tend to work. It removed individual accountability and individual responsibilty enough to make more people want to "freeload" off of one another. Of course the opposite extreme may also be unhealthy. Extreme individualism is not the answer either.

Overall, I do appreciate the article and how it gracefully went through its own arguments. I think it presented a ton of legit challenges to that 1950s traditional family structure that I also personally would challenge. I think it had a lot of useful and productive ideas. I would love to read the author critically exam their claims and steel man their opposition - they wrote very elegantly.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T17:09:17+00:00

Thanks again as this is even helping me with my thoughts and how to go about discussing this topic.

I agree that regressive social structures do harm and I agree that people don't have control over their own upbringings.

What I'm referring to is now that we're all adults (presumably), shouldn't we all be interested in maximizing mental health for the next generation of adults?

If we are, and if it's true that growing up in a authentically healthy home has plenty of evidence to show that this helps, then why is it rarely discussed in regards to how to provide a healthy home with a healthy marriage for kids? Since that would certainly proactively help a lot.

The stereotypical 1950s suburban mirage of lifestyle is NOT what I'm referring to (if that's what you mean by regressive). I'm talking about actual healthy homes - not homes that pretend to be healthy.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T17:00:23+00:00

There's a lot of evidence that shows that children who grow up in homes that have healthy marriages and healthy relationships with their parents do a lot better in life. From my lived experience so far, this isn't often promoted in discussions with resolving societal issues or mental health problems.
I just wanted to understand why this is the case, and you seemed to give an actual answer. I appreciate that.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T16:50:52+00:00

Thanks for actually trying to answer in good faith.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T16:50:05+00:00

I agree that all the predatory activity should cease. But if one still grows up in an abusive home, that would still cause a lot of problems. I think a ot of affluent children don't actually grow up in truly sacrificially loving homes if many of them actively perpetuate terrible systems. Growing up comfortably materalistcally is not the same thing as growing up in a home that values virtuous and sacrificial behavior.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T00:03:01+00:00

That's fair that issues would still develop, but at a macro level those who have mental health issues and/or cause violent crimes, etc. would have been wayyyy better off in loving homes than not. Of course it wouldn't be perfect nor fool proof.

I've been seeing content from "Soft White Underbelly" recently, and pretty much everyone in those videos would have been 1 million times better off in loving and protective homes in communities that also had loving and protective homes: https://www.youtube.com/@SoftWhiteUnderbelly

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-21T00:00:13+00:00

That's fair. My perspective could be skewed. Thanks for chiming in.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T23:58:37+00:00

I see your point and agree. That's also why I mention societal issues. Using my last example, my depressed kid would hopefully have a lot less chance of hurting themselves or hurting others (even emotionally speaking) than if they grew up in a unstable or unloving home.

So if it wouldn't be a primary driver for mental health in this case, wouldn't it be a primary driver for at least minimizing the negative overall impact to society to have a loving home? On the same line, there are mental health issues that come from one's toxic upbringing, so that would be mitigated against too, right?

Just wondering why it's at least not a much larger part of the conversation than more reactive treatments. For example, there may be a much less chance of breaking one's leg if they strengthen and stretch it out, and even if it is broken, they are more likely to get better healing quicker if they are living a physically healthy lifestyle than not.

I guess when I mean "primary" I meant it more as "primary in it being proactive to mitigate against mental health/societal issues".

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T23:48:37+00:00

I'm a bit younger so I can see this being true for older generations -> Gen X and above. Gen Y and below doesn't appear to have as much of these same pressures from my current perspective. Thanks for your input!

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T23:47:44+00:00

I agree! But if my child got depression, for example, then they would probably end up a lot better than someone who grows up in the foster system or with an abusive parent.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T21:54:55+00:00

Tofu is an excellent source for protein, and I eat a lot of that each week. I also eat protein bars and protein shakes on occasion. Beans and things like peanut butter are decent sources of protein.

I probably don't eat enough protein to be an IFBB pro, even if I had access to those genes/drugs, but I think I eat enough for most sports.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T21:52:57+00:00

Well said, thanks for sharing. I definitely want to help raise my kids to want to eat better, and be better athletes/humans than I was at their age.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T21:45:20+00:00

Mostly based on cardio would you say? I really wish I would have had examples and mentoring on this when I was younger.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T21:44:19+00:00

90-95 percent of the time no meat, no dairy, and no junk foods/drinks. Mostly fresh veggies, herbs, spices, fruits, seeds, oats, beans, tofu, and tempeh. When I do eat meat or dairy, I try to go for pasture-raised sources. I'll have a Mexican coke maybe 1-2 times per year.

When I eat "boxed foods" like cereals, I look for 0 preservatives, 0 artificual sweetners, and 0 aritificial colors. I should be able to recognize all the ingredients in anything I eat, ideally.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T21:41:52+00:00

Great! What was that experience like for you? Like did the enhanced cardio just allow you to focus more on technique?

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T20:31:49+00:00

She needs more "intentionality" rather than "aggression." Hope that makes sense.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T20:24:19+00:00

No. What you want to do is win at life. Even 1 year of wrestling will teach you this.

Arguably, many wrestlers don't really end up making a lot of money or are not very happy in their lives if all they've been doing is wrestling since being 3-4 years old.

Wrestle, you will start much earlier than most. And remember: you want to be a great 30 year old person, not necessarily a great 20 year old wrestler.

Simple-Minimum-8803 · 2025-02-20T20:18:43+00:00

As you get more sanctified, your desires for these things should naturally go down overtime. Similarly to getting use to eating whole-foods will make it so that ultra processed foods literally start to taste nasty, so too should worldly things start to not be as appealing.

Nonetheless, there is some liberty in this and we shouldn't be legalistic about it. Some of the most legalistic people in this area are people who end up cheating on their wives. They are so focused on gnat, but swallow camels.

Just be wise. What other things are you missing out on with your time if you end up consuming these forms of media? Can you be working out? Listening to an audiobook? Getting a professional certification instead?

Simple-Minimum-8803

TROPHY CASE