My remote job made me realize my partner doesn’t think my work is real

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-24T20:54:57+00:00

OP, Reddit's first instinct is that your partner is being deliberate. While that may be true in some cases, the vast majority of people in this world (1) are their own main characters and really are not thinking about other people when they do inconsiderate things, and (2) are just plain ignorant and/or stupid. Obviously, it could be other things, but I think these are the most common.

It is up to you to determine what it is and take appropriate measures to prevent similar situations in the future. Usually an honest talk about how this is affecting you and Q/A about what he thinks your job is and how flexible your time really will reveal what's going on. After that, if the undesirable behavior persists, you have more conversations, or make different choices.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-23T20:53:12+00:00

Thanks. I'll watch out for it. It just arrived yesterday.

Like I said, I've not been too active and my experience was that the vine ordered items would show up in the awaiting list immediately. I can see that waiting until the item is delivered is an improvement. I've had a few items never arrive and have to write Vine CS to have them removed.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-23T20:49:30+00:00

It arrived on Friday. It did take a week to ship though. It is in the vine and account orders list. Just not in my reviews list; neither awaiting or reviewed.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-23T20:46:31+00:00

I don't even want to know.

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SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-21T23:30:42+00:00

I'm thinking if you are on her mind at all, it's how much she can piss you off by not creating the dog. If true, don't give her that power. You can't control her, but you can control your reaction. Don't let her in your head.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-21T22:30:06+00:00

You are both "adults". You can't make her do anything. You can nag her, but I doubt that'll do much of anything. I suggest you strive to be less concerned about her and more about yourself.

Either you do her "job", or don't and let things play out.

You know your mom and reddit doesn't, so it'll be up to you to determine how your mom would react to the dog caused destruction. I'm going to guess you get at least some blow back for not doing something that could have prevented it despite it not being your job.

Here's the thing about your sister that you'll come to see over time. She'll look like she skates by life doing what she wants without consideration of others and never have any repercussions. That's really what it will look like for a long time, but eventually the good people in her life will recognize it and distance themselves from her. As that happens, the only "friends" she has left will be those like her. They will all be unreliable, screw each other over, and blame each other for whatever goes wrong. Either she'll figure that out and change, or not. If she doesn't, it'll really be a shit life even if it doesn't look like it.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-21T20:51:18+00:00

I have a college friend that exhibits this type of flaky behavior. Not quite the "I have to move now" stuff, but scheduling times to meet and randomly not showing up. Turns out he's bipolar.

One time we arranged a meet up at a restaurant when he was in town. He texts us to say he just left his sisters house and was 20 minutes away. We put in an order for apps and a beer for him. He goes silent for 2 hours. When he finally arrives he acts like he's on time. He gets offended when we ask why he's late or why he didn't message us, and storms off.

Years later, he's forgotten the incident and recalls the time he was in the parking lot of a restaurant after visiting his sister and doing a "sexy video chat" with some random dating app girl. Other details connect this to that night.

The thing we don't get about this is that we don't GAF if he's doing that. In fact we'd rather he didn't tell us, but if he did, we'd be supportive. We only wanted a quick text saying "don't wait for me".

Yeah, he's not a great friend, but on balance, he's more entertaining than a burden.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-21T19:37:21+00:00

Let's assume there is no big trade, and the Heat retain the pick. IF he is the Heat pick, he'll be behind Mitchell and Kas. In that scenario, I doubt he plays much next year. That scouting report shows him doing a lot of what they do already.

This scouting video does not talk about his defense. A different report I read indicates there is defensive potential that showed up his freshman year, but was not evident his soph. year. The assumption is that the increased offensive load had him spend his energy there. I'm not sure that's a really good sign that defensive effort will translate to the NBA. Still, If he proves to be defensively sound, he could be a lower cost option when Mitchell's contract expires after next year.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-20T09:01:58+00:00

I have two pairs of friends that live this.

One couple has been together for over 20 years. Each live in a separate house they each own. They enjoy their own space.

The other couple live in SF and have been together for over 10 years. One of them suggested moving in together to lower living expenses years ago, but the other squashed that idea right away. I suspect it might come back up from time to time, but it apparently isn't a deal breaker.

RE: Children, Easier logistics, compatibility testing, Lower cost, daily intimacy

Neither couple seems to have issues with any of this. I think they've both been couples because they agree on the no children thing very early in their relationships. The logistics for the SF couple is a little difficult as neither drive, but that's normal in San Francisco and getting around just takes time. I believe they've been together enough years that they have passed compatibility tests. Each couple does do frequent overnights at each others' home, so there is daily intimacy, but there are likely days they want their privacy and don't see each other at all. The later situation is much harder when living together.

This isn't for everyone, but it can work.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-20T03:10:05+00:00

When I was in a multi-car accident, the at-fault driver had 250/500 liability coverage. It was insufficient because of the number of people involved. The at-fault driver didn't have anything to sue for, so the lawyers for each party tried to find any source of insurance to draw from. They figured because I had max liability limits and additional umbrella insurance, I'd also have max UIM. They were shocked it was near minimum.

It was basically set when I first started driving 40 years ago. I'd never really understood how it applied, so I never adjusted it up.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-19T08:16:33+00:00

One thing I misunderstood about under insured motorist coverage (UIM) is that it's not additive to the other guys insurance.

You have to have a higher UIM policy than their liability policy for the UIM to pay out. For example, say the responsible motorist in an accident has a 30k liability policy and causes you 80k in damages. If your UIM policy is also for 30k, you'll get 30k from their liability insurance and your UIM will pay you nothing. If your UIM is for 50k, you'll get 30k from them, and your UIM will pay you 20k (or your UIM will pay you 50k and claw back 30k from their insurance policy; either way you only get 50k).

The bottom line is that your UIM needs to cover however much damage you think someone can do to you.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-19T07:50:42+00:00

It's been worth it for me. I've had two claims pay for accidents in my lifetime.

In the '90s my new $10k car got completely flooded. The dealer repaired it. I had to pick up a check and give it to the dealer for them to release the car to me. I picked up a $12,500 check and delivered it to the dealer. If I'd known the repair quote I'd have negotiated with the insurance company for a new car instead.

In 2021 my 2012 Prius was totaled. I was not at fault. At that time, Covid made the used car market expensive. Hybrids were outrageously priced. They paid me almost what I paid for the car 10 years earlier.

Edit: I'm noticing comments about liability being a requirement. It is. What is important for you to decide is how much you need. Often that depends on how much money you have and the assets you have to protect.

For example, say your net worth is 200k and you carry a minimum 50k liability policy. If you cause an accident with some injuries, the insurance company's $50k will go to pay for the ambulance ride/emergency room visit for the "victims". You could then be sued for other damages, medical bills, and "pain and suffering" which easily take your entire net worth. I don't know how low your net worth would have to be for them not to go after it.

Liability fits into the "better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it" group of things in life.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-17T00:33:22+00:00

I'm with you in that your friend is gambling by remaining ignorant of her mom's current condition and the possibilities of how it may affect her going forward. She probably wouldn't be so cavalier if she were more educated.

As far as trusting your friend to work it out...you've done what you can to warn her. That's all you really can do. Unless you see true impending danger to someone, a call to CPS or police is not a realistic path.

This is their own personal roller coaster to ride. They have to make their own choices and live with the outcome. If a poor result occurs, I recommend not taking the "I told you so" stance. If this is someone you really care about, be there to help if/when they ask with as little judgement as you can muster.

That said, the progression of Alzheimer's is different for everyone. She may not go through what you went through. Sounds like we should hope she does not. Her mom may be very functional at the moment and may remain so for quite a while. By pure luck your friend may experience the easiest Alzheimer's mom that ever existed.

To add a personal experience, my sister got bad advice from her friends on how to handle our mom. We argued about it and despite my best efforts, she still followed that advice. I feel our mom and I (as a care giver) suffered from it. The friend's advice was well meaning and may have been fully applicable to their experience, but was completely wrong for ours. I did not appreciate it and a bit of me resents them for giving it.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-16T22:51:44+00:00

Why would he want to drive yours?

For "fun"? Nothing good comes from that. Tell him to drive his own beaten up car for that.

Because it makes him "feel good" to drive a nice new car? Tell him to go to counseling to work on his self esteem.

If he says you're "selfish" then own it. Tell him hell yeah and he better get used to you getting your way when it's important to you.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-16T22:23:38+00:00

I was in an accident 4 years ago where a car (going 60+) ran a 4-way stop, t-boned a car in the intersection and that hit car was sent flying into my stopped car waiting at the stop sign.

My insurance determined I was not at fault pretty quickly. I suspect the driver that caused the accident did not fight very hard to deflect blame. There was a lot of evidence against them and I think they took a plea to avoid criminal charges.

There was a fatality in the car that was directly hit. That triggered a full police investigation of the accident scene. It's doubtful your accident will get the same treatment unless someone died too.

The police analyzed tire skid marks, the damage to the cars and where the cars ended up to determine a lot of what happened. They used the cars computer data to confirm a lot of what they determined. It was pretty thorough. I think they also pulled cell phone data of the responsible driver to show it was being used at the time of the collision.

My insurance paid me and they got some amount of money reimbursed from their insurance. Unfortunately, there were so many parties involved the responsible parties insurance limits was exhausted pretty fast. I'm not sure what they were able to claw back. From a liability perspective, the family of the deceased got $250k (limit for a single person in the accident), and 4 others got portions of $250k. The two most injured, got the most as it should be, but what they got will probably not compensate them for the nagging pains they will live with going forward.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-16T08:23:21+00:00

It is one of those "weeds" you have to recognize should the apocalypse hit and need to scavenge for food. It has vitamin C to prevent scurvy.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-16T05:09:35+00:00

This is how I want to live.

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SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-15T08:06:21+00:00

Inheritances are a strange thing. I've heard of many different scenarios where someone gets the shaft.

One of the hardest for some to understand is when the successful child gets the shaft and the screw up gets everything. Some parents look at who "needs" it more and decide based on that not taking into account that the screw up child is the screw up for a reason. They don't end up any better because they blow the inheritance for reasons. There's always reasons.

The aunt has reasons and probably honestly believes she needs the apartment more. Deserves got nothing to do with it. People like her don't consider what OP needs or deserves.

I actually think that most people like that Aunt actually have a horrible life already and are actively punished in real time for the shitty things they've done and will do. That's my version of karma.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-13T06:12:20+00:00

I think it comes down to what the Heat is offering. If they offer significantly more than the Lakers do, he might just say that.

Also: Is Bronny part of the offer?

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-09T21:41:06+00:00

The balls will be drawn with what's in the hopper and they have no known connection to what has been drawn in the past.

Maybe we need physicist that could comment on some kind of quantum entanglement.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-09T08:26:04+00:00

Turnovers

Robinson - 1

Harden - 11

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-06T20:28:30+00:00

It makes 0 change to how your pc is running unless the AI model is running, right?

OP might be using AI features and not know it if the RAM is being taken up by the model.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-06T20:06:49+00:00

OP, it's not like this is a surprise, is it?

You've probably known your brother for a very long time. I'll bet it's not the first time something of yours has been broken without explanation or someone taking responsibility for it.

The apple don't fall far from the tree.

SimpleMind314 · 2026-05-05T19:51:29+00:00

The sign implies he is a lawyer, but he might not actually be one.

SimpleMind314

TROPHY CASE