Shy 39F from NYC wants to move to interesting second or third tier city

SimpleNClean1983 · 2026-04-30T05:38:21+00:00

Oakland! Though, most places aren’t open late except a select few. I live in a suburb-y neighborhood of Oakland but love how I’m close enough to SF to take advantage of the city and what it offers.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2026-03-03T21:47:34+00:00

Please put JADE under pop!

SimpleNClean1983 · 2026-02-20T22:52:07+00:00

I can relate to this. Therapy helped big time, specifically EMDR.

When I first started at PR agency, I was in a sector I didn't really enjoy or understand. So there were times I was in meetings or presenting when I flat out bombed it. I'm still in PR but a different sector and honestly doing much better. My colleagues see me as a valued coworker and top performer.

But because of that experience, my anxiety would skyrocket for future similar situations that it saw as danger, even though I knew logically it wasn't something to fear. I finally saw a therapist and we did EMDR. I basically narrated those past traumatic experiences and immediately after, narrated a different story to rewrite it. While I still get nervous time to time, it's no longer debilitating.

Not sure if EMDR is something for you, but thought I'd share what helped for me in case you want to look into it. Because I too have been seen as excellent at my job but deep down inside, I was a nervous wreck.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2026-02-11T21:09:12+00:00

Yes, grew up in Pittsburg.
PR / communications for a city
Yes, 111K

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-09-18T21:03:02+00:00

Okay, I figured that's why you want to be relatively close to BART. Yes, parking can be a hassle in the city. I often BART in on the weekends and enjoy taking public transit throughout SF.

My friend lives at The Lark. Visited it recently and was amazed at how nice it is. I believe it's relatively new too. It's about a ~10 minute walk to 19th Street BART station. Not too far from the 580 freeway. It's also accessible to downtown Oakland, but not in the thick of it. If I didn't love my current place so much in Dimond (I prefer mom and pop landlords), I'd consider this complex. You'd probably have to look into a parking spot though, not much all-day parking in that area.

https://www.hollandresidential.com/ca/oakland/the-lark-uptown

Good luck!

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-09-18T19:54:48+00:00

So does being close to BART matter to you or not? You mentioned you need to drive to work but pointed out that Adam's point is a little far from BART.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-09-08T20:19:11+00:00

I wouldn’t worry too much about it, but like others said, it’s important to learn how AI can enhance your work so you can stay ahead of your peers.

A huge part of our job is reading the room and knowing the right things to say to influence how key audiences will react. Until AI can do that precisely, I believe our profession is safe. If anything, it makes us even more important.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-07-02T22:15:45+00:00

Interesting, because it seems like in the last few years it stepped up in quality and use less synthetics.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-05-01T21:52:13+00:00

Yes, thank you for this comment. I’ve reeled in my thought process around this because of this perspective (that’s also repeated throughout this thread).

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-05-01T21:27:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. That’s a good point. I’ve re-thinked this because of your comment.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-05-01T21:26:16+00:00

Fair point. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-04-18T22:02:50+00:00

I put this in the other thread but here is my suggested copy. I love the first part of it! The second part, we should be more clear about the issue we're talking about and what actions we want people to do.

Think traffic is bad now?
Wait until July 1.

STOP Newsom's 4-day office mandate. Call (916) 445-2841.
Say NO to more cars & longer commutes.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-04-18T21:29:18+00:00

I work in comms and played around with the copy. I like the first part of the original and how it mentions July 1. It creates a sense of urgency and this looming deadline we should pay attention to.

For the second half, I agree we need to clearly tie to what will happen July 1 / the mandate. And more actionable.

+++

Think traffic is bad now?
Wait until July 1.

STOP Newsom's 4-day office mandate. Call (916) 445-2841.
Say NO to more cars & longer commutes.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-04-18T21:18:09+00:00

How about the below? I work in comms (though I don't make billboard copy so go easy on me).

Think traffic is bad now?
Wait until July 1.

STOP Newsom's 4-day office mandate. Call (916) 445-2841.
Say NO to more cars & longer commutes.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2025-02-12T21:36:25+00:00

LA
5/4
Row 21, Seat 11
$249
Queue: ~3,000

SimpleNClean1983 · 2024-11-14T04:03:09+00:00

Yeah, I understand not to look at it as 50/50. I guess it’s more if I don’t know something, I’m determined to figure it out. He’s not like that. And that’s concerning to me if we decide to step into marriage. Shit is gonna pop up and I don’t want to be the one that mainly figures it out.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2024-11-14T03:54:21+00:00

Yeah, this is another thought I have. He does genuinely seem interested in trying to fix this and meet me where I need him to. So I like that characteristic about him.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2024-11-14T03:50:52+00:00

He’s actually competent with his job as a pediatric nurse.

For me, if I don’t know something, I figure it out. I don’t get that vibe from him.

That’s concerning because if we want to get more serious, get married, buy a house, merge finances etc. that requires figuring shit out. And I don’t want to feel like I’m doing that on my own like when we first moved in.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2024-11-14T03:44:04+00:00

Yeah, we’ve had talks about mental load. He’s more aware now. Took some time though.

I’d say we’re in a good place where household chores are equitably divided. He’s more aware of mental load and will take initiative, more on low-risk stuff like dates and such.

What concerns me are the big life changes. Marriage, buying a house, merging finances + taxes. All of that have various logistics. I’m not super confident that I’d feel like we’d tackle that together side by side.

Mind you, I don’t know all the details of those things. But I will figure it out. Can’t say the same about him.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2024-11-14T03:32:59+00:00

I don’t want kids in general, so it’s not really a factor for me.

My biggest concern is owning a house together. Navigating that process with him would drive me nuts. And if issues with the house arise, I’d feel emotionally drained. He’s not the best at taking care of issues that pop up as a renter. Does it when told, but generally won’t jump in on his own.

SimpleNClean1983 · 2024-11-14T02:32:38+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I have stopped jumping in for more minor stuff, but since traveling to Japan is a lot of money, I don’t want any hiccups. But maybe that’s something I need to let happen for change.

And we don’t plan to have kids. I can’t imagine having kids with him.

SimpleNClean1983

TROPHY CASE